of my heart,' for a thorough work of grace, and I even delighted in an agonizing spirit. I continued to pray for the witness of the Spirit- an evidence that would banish all doubt. What that inward testimony was I had no conception of, but I believed it was a divine and glorious reality, and I longed to experience it. I had many a sore conflict, many a powerful temptation. To give up all for Christ seemed impossible. I was not yet sufficiently humble; I wanted religion in my own way, and on my own terms; I wanted to make some 'compromises' with the world, SO as not to lose my good name with the unconverted. But the Lord by degrees brought me to the foot of the cross. At times while engaged in prayer, the blessing seemed ready to descend, the long sought effusion to be poured out, and I felt that my faith could almost lay hold upon it, and yet I was disappointed. I longed to experience the baptism of the Holy Ghost-of fire. At last I nearly despaired of the mercy of God, and was almost

THE DOOR SHUT.

95

willing to be a servant, if I could not be a son. Perhaps I may have to seek this witness for many years-well, I will die seeking it. At length it was brought to my mind, 'Are you willing to give up all and become a preacher -even a Methodist preacher for the sake of Christ?' 'Can you resign your little child into the hands of Christ?' I thought I could; I felt willing to be anything or nothing for His sake to do and suffer His whole will. I now felt a considerable degree of tranquility, but no joy. I felt a hungering and thirsting after righteousnes,' a drawing out of my heart towards God, especially while engaged in prayer -a love to the whole human race-a deadness to the honors and pleasures of the world.

"On the 14th of February I had been most of the day in my office, and had considerable company all the time until about five o'clock. I was then left alone. I felt a desire to engage in prayer. The door being shut, I turned in my chair with my back toward the door and window and prayed to God in that attitude. I

had hardly commenced before I experienced a feeling which I had never known before; almost instantaneously I experienced a joy which I had never felt before. The burden that had so long weighed me down was suddenly removed. The cloud vanished, and I was all light and life. I experienced a feeling of joy inexpressible. I had peace, and love, and joy. My heart rose up in my throat, and I was filled with delight and surprise; I was filled to overflowing; I could pray no longer; I could not sit still; I felt too light for earth. My hungring and thirsting was gone. The change was altogether incomprehensible. I did not then know what I had experienced-I could call it by no name; but I wanted to see some of my friends to tell them of my joy. I shut up my office and went over to Mrs. Truslow, who was my mother-in-law, and with whom I was boarding at the time. After supper I went up into my room, and my happiness seemed to increase. And I was again filled to overflowing. My heart scemed to dilate

THIS WAS RELIGION.

97

and rise up in my throat. At my request, Mrs. Truslow came up into my room. I tried to tell her how happy I was; but she knew all about it 'the love of God shed abroad in the heart by the Holy Ghost.' She had experienced it years ago, and was no stranger to every delight of my soul. THIS WAS RELIGION. I felt it when I lay down to sleep, and I awoke the next morning under its happy influence.

7

IMMEDIATELY after Mr. Baldwin had experienced religion, he felt that it was his duty to "confess Christ before men" by connecting himself with the church. An interesting account of this transaction is found in his journal:

"On Monday, February 13th, 1833, after prayer-meeting, I called in at Rev. Mr. Calhoon's, on his invitation-having walked home in company with him from the school-room. The next Sabbath there was to be a communion season in the Presbyterian church, of which he was the Pastor. I now felt that I ought to make a public profession of my faith in Christ; although I had not thought much about the doctrines of the different evangelical churches. My mind was not prepared for attaching myself permanently to any particu