brother a full account of the whole; but could not seę, at that time, how I could pay: nor was I quite clear it was required of me. Taylor's wife, now big with child, wringing her hands, entreated me, in mercy to her, not to let her husband go to prison; and, indeed, she was clear of blame, for all along she had been afflicted with the fear of what was now come upon them. I knew not what to do; above all, the honour of religion was dear to me; and it was too evident, without an appearance of dishonesty, I could not take back the stock, though really my own, and leave the debts unpaid. Besides, many of the persons were poor, and would be greatly hurt by the loss. We had also at this time a lively work; for whatsoever else did not prosper by going into Yorkshire, the work of God did. Being at length determined on the payment, the next difficulty was, where to raise the money. I had now taken back all my affairs out of Taylor's hands, but was incapable of managing the business myself, nor could I get the place disposed of. Mr. *** then offered to lend me the six hundred pounds on interest, and to become a partner with me in the farm and kilns, so as to take the management of all. Here I was quite at a loss. I was almost ready to say, "Darkness hath covered my path." Prudence, delicacy, every lively sentiment, started back at the thought. What! come under such an obligation to the man I am constantly refusing! Besides, such a fresh connexion will open the door to many trials. But there was no alternative; I must accept his help or be ruined. I therefore followed what appeared to be the leadings of Providence. A little before this, I had a drawing in my mind to go for six months to Bath, Bristol, and the parts adjacent, believing it to be the order of God: and I was not sorry for an exeuse to get two hundred miles from poor Mr. ***.

One night conversing with a friend on the difficulties of my situation, he said, "I cannot approve of your proceedings; I fear you fight against Providence. Here are

***

several doors open before you. If you object to Mr. why do not you accept of some other of those good men, whom the Lord seems to have cast in your way? You stand stiffly in the choice of a single life, and it seems to me, God fights against you in so doing. The end will be ruin. You will be brought to a prison, and all the reproach will be cast on religion. If you build on the former promise I have heard you mention, That the Almighty shall be your defence, and you shall have plenty of silver, I account you no better than an enthusiast. Have you not waited long enough? You hoped for deliverance at the end of the first seven years; but four are elapsed since, and if you wait till the end of the next seven, you will be no nearer." Though his words did not convince my judgment, they pained my heart. Nothing was to me more dreadful than the thought of getting out of God's order. I carried my case to the Lord, and striving to divest my soul of every prejudice, I offered up myself to God, that he might accomplish all his will upon me— pleading before him, "Show me thy way, and I will walk in it." But the more I prayed, the clearer the light seemed to shine on my present path; and the only answer I could obtain was-Stand still and see my salvation.

Being one day at prayer about my situation, I thought, perhaps I shall sink lower still. Though Mr. *** believes he shall make much of the business, he may be mistaken; and should I lose more than my estate at Layton-stone, and this place also will pay, then I shall have debts I cannot answer; and while there is but a bare possibility of that, shall I eat and drink as if it was my own? Ah! no; let me rather live on bread and water. I have no right, except merely to sustain life, till I receive from God some answer, or see, by sound reason, that all will be paid. I began to do so that very day! But the following night I had a most particular time before the Lord! He showed me (by a light on my understanding) that all my trials were appointed by Himself;

that they were laid on by weight and measure, and should go no farther than they would work for my good. He pointed me to the time at Hoxton, causing me to remember how simply I had walked by faith, and showing me my sin in having drawn back from that close communion. That although I did, in a measure, still walk with God, yet I could not say as then, I live not, but Christ liveth in me.* I had depended on creatures for help, and therefore He had let me feel the weight of my burdens, that I might be constrained to cast them afresh on Him; and that when He had proved and tried me, He would deliver me from all my outward burdens. As a pledge of ́ the inward liberty he would afterward bring me into, and that the ways and means of my deliverance were in his own hands, and should appear in the appointed time, those words were again brought powerfully to my mind : If thou put away iniquity far from thy tabernacle-So shalt thou lift up thy face unto God. Thou shalt decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee; and the light shall shine upon thy path. Yea, the Almighty shall be thy defence, and thou shalt have plenty of silver. He showed me that all my perplexities and trials were only the thorn-hedge, which his love had planted around me, to preserve me from running farther astray. It was a profitable and melting time.

From that hour I began to gladness and singleness of heart.

take my meat again with During the above time

And

of prayer, while I was asking light for my immediate duties, it appeared to me best to take Mr. Taylor down with us to Bath; and that from the time I did so, his family would no more be such a burden to me. truly so it proved. For my sister met me there, and was greatly struck with compassion towards him. She helped him herself, and raised him many friends; so that all the rest of the time the family were under my roof,

*The truth was, I believe, she had not that lively sense of it. She was loaded with cares; but they were all consistent with purity. Ed.

the children were entirely supported with the help which arose from that journey.—I saw much of the order of God while from home; and after six months, I returned with thankfulness; though not without that kind of sensation which a scourged child would have in returning to the rod.

I must here mention a circumstance which, in order of time, occurred some months before. In my deep troubles, especially after the conversation with the friend above-mentioned concerning marriage, a thought occurred to my mind-" Perhaps Mr. Fletcher is to be my deliverer. May not that be the way to bring me out of these incumbrances?" But I started from the very idea, lest it should be a stratagem of Satan. We had not seen or heard from each other for more than fifteen years. Yet when striving to find out some way, that idea would frequently present itself before me.

In the month of August, 1777, going into a Liend's house who was just come from the conference, he said, "Do you know that Mr. Fletcher, of Madely, is dying?— Indeed I know not but he is dead. If he hold out a little longer, he is to go abroad; but it is a pity, for he will die by the way, being in the last stage of a consumption." I heard the account with the utmost calmness. For some days I bore his burden before the Lord; and constantly offered him up to the will of God. A few days after, another of my acquaintance wrote word," Mr. Fletcher is very bad; spits blood profusely, and perspires profusely every night. Some have great hope that prayer will raise him up; but, for my part, I believe he is a dying man, as sure as he is now a living one." As I was one day in prayer, offering him up to the Lord, these words passed my mind: "The prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up. I said, "Lord, I dare not ask it; I leave it to thy sacred will: thy will be done!"

The following thoughts occurred to my mind—If the Lord should raise him up, and bring him in safety back to England; and he should propose such a step, could I doubt its being of God, after such an answer to prayer? Yet fearing a deception, I cried to the Lord to keep me in his narrow way, whatever I might suffer, and felt an unaccountable liberty to ask the following signs, if it really were of Him. 1. That Mr. Fletcher might be raised up. 2. That he might be brought back to England. 3. That he would write to me on the subject, before he saw me, though we had been so many years asunder, without so much as a message passing on any enbject. 4. That he would, in that letter, tell me, it had been the object of his thoughts and prayers for some years. came to my mind further, that should this occur in the end of the year 1781, it would be a still greater confirmation, as Providence seemed to point me to that season as a time by hope.

It

We returned from Bath in the beginning of the year 1778. I found crosses and troubles yet awaited me. Mr. *** was still my partner, and I was enabled to pay him and every creditor the full interest of the money taken up; but not to lessen the capital. Indeed, all along I was able to answer every demand. We continued our trade some time longer; but, at length, Mr. *** found my fears were better grounded than his hopes. Instead of an hundred pounds to put into my lap (as he expected) each year towards the debt, we found, on the strictest account of every grain of corn, pint of milk, or pound of butter, either sold or used in the family, that the farm did not pay its own way; though he had put many things on a cheaper plan than before. The interest also swallowed up so great a part of my income, that it was not possible to keep more than half my family with what remained. As to the kilns, I had neither money nor courage to work them. I thought of many expe: