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there! But you turn away your face with contempt, and will not so much as look on him who bleeds for you! Would you not in that case be a monster of ingratitude? Now this word of God, this book, is the glass ; if with simplicity and prayer you look into it, you shall there discern that Supreme Being, (whom unknown you worship) and that 14 He was in Christ reconciling the world to himself: and that there is no other name given under heaven whereby you can be saved."
One afternoon as he was reading to me, I pointed him to the experience of Brother Story, believing it was suited to his present state. But contrary to all I had for a long time seen in him, he appeared quite hard, and cavilled at almost every sentence. I answered his objections for a long time, till I was quite spent. Then looking solemnly at him, with tears in my eyes, I put out my hand to take the book. He was moved, and said tenderly —" What, Aunt! What 1 No! I will read any thing, any thing you give me! You think me in a bad spirit, Aunt!" I replied, Why, my dear, I do not think you are in a very good one.—That book does not suit you to-night.—He then read on, till he came to a part very applicable to his present feelings. He dropped the book at once, and remained silent,—After a time I asked him what was the matter? He replied—" I know not what is the matter! I feel a horrible sensation! O what do I ail! How have 1 been speaking to you! Dear Aunt, the more kind you are, the more ungrateful I am.— What is the matter with me? I am worse and worse!" I strove to comfort him; saying, It is well; the Lord is beginning to show you your heart. "Ah," replied he, "You say very well, but I say very ill; for I am worse than before I came to England. O, I am ashamed to think how I spent my life! I thought I had done all things for the glory of God. But now I see I have done all for myself, and to please myself only." After some • time of silence, he said, " I will now tell you what I have been doing. Ail this week I have strove to address my prayers to Jesus Christ, as you advised me, but alas! I am more dull and cold in them than I ever felt before! O, if he is God, why doth he not help me i You said, Aunt, he would answer for himself!" Then in an agony, lie added, '« Why does he not answer? Why does he not answer?" While I was making a few observations on the long time the Lord had waited for him, &c. Mr, Home came in to meet the men's class, to which he was that night to go up for the first time. When he came down, he said his mind was more composed, and he wished he had frequented that meeting before.
After supper, being alone, we renewed our conversation, and I repeatedly assured him the Lord would shine upon him if he would only persevere. His cry was still, "Why does he not answer V It being late, we parted. I then went again to the throne of grace, to pour out my eomplaint before the Lord. I saw we were come to a point, and could go no further without His immediate help. I had staked all on the faithfulness of my God, and had declared the answer would come: and now there was nothing more for me to do, but to obtain it of the Almighty. Sometimes I felt all faith and hope; at others, as if cold water was thrown over the fire of expectation. Satan was not idle. He suggested, You will find him to-morrow as you left him to-night. I pleaded with the Lord, that it was no new thing I asked. He had shown his approval of sacrifices by fire from heaven; —He had wrought for his people ;—He had given signs and wonders! "His arm was not shortened," and I besought him to appear in such a manner for this young man, as should convince him of the truth. Sometimes I felt all discouragement, but I did not mind that; I knew from whence it came. I said, Lord! thy word stands always sure; it is not my feelings, but thy faithfulness, that I depend on. Lord, thou hast said—" Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, I will do it." I ask this in thy name! I leave it in thy hand, assured of the answer.
The next morning he went out early. On his return at night, he said, "Aunt, I have a great deal to tell you. —After we parted last night, I thought I would pray; but that it was right to consider what I wanted most. Then I thought, why I most want light in this point, about Jesus Christ. But will God so condescend as to answer me? Then, Aunt, I heard a voice, (not with my ear, but I did hear it,) say, Yes, he will. Then I began and made prayer;—and an hour went away like a minute,— and I could say, Through the Lord Jesus Christ i O dear Aunt, I thought I must have come up and told you, but you were gone to bed. And again I thought, may be to-morrow God will confirm this. And so he has, for when I was at Waters Upton, Mr. G. H. began to make pleasantry of the miracles of Jesus Christ. I said in myself, yesterday I could have smiled at this, and heard it with pleasure; but now it was a horrible sensation, I could not bear it. I was forced to go out of the house. Was not that a sign, Aunt, that there is some change % in me?"
Soon after, he had a particular dream. He thought he was in Switzerland, and attempting to converse with one of his old acquaintance on the things of God j but was much surprised to find he could only speak in English. Afterward, as he stood at a window with his father, he saw eight full moons all at once, and said in his mind, it means eight months. A beautiful city then rose up before his eyes, and as he looked thereon, he beheld a lovely appearance, and thought, Is that St. John? He looked, till dazzled with the beams of glory which surrounded the face, as it passed over the city, he cried out, See 1 father, see 1 The Lo„d Jesus! The Lord Jesus! and so awoke. This dream seemed to make a deep impression on him, though he attempted no explanation. About a week after this, coming home one night late, from visiting a sick neighbour, on my inquiring after his state, he answered, " Aunt, I have not found the evening long, for I have been in deep recollection almost all the time you have been gone. And now 1 can say, "Faitb is the evidence of things unseen," for if 1 had seen my Lord, I could not be more assured than 1 am." From this time the change has been more and more evident. He attends all the meetings with me, and our dear friends are not a little delighted to hear the nephew and godson of their beloved Minister, telling in his broken English, that his eyes, which had long been accustomed to see darkness, do now behold the light of the Lord.
Sometime after, writing to a friend, he uses these words, "I have altogether left Mr. Home's house, though fully satisfied with all there; but it would have been very disagreeable to me to have been forced to ride daily, and at night, over one of the worst roads in the kingdom. I have now for three months enjoyed the happiness of living with my Aunt, and I feel more and more the immense obligation which I owe to her, not only for all the temporal care she hath taken for me., but much more for the blessing of my soul. Yes, she hath shown me clearly, that the knowledge of mathematics, and a vain philosophy, are not sufficient to procure us true happiness; but the knowledge of Him only who giveth wisdom liberally to those who ask it. She hath taught me to distinguish the things which are situated within the reach of our understanding, from those which are beyond it; for I must own that the idea which I had before of the strength of my understanding, and the extent of my knowledge, was so false, that I thought nothing to be out of my sphere. But now, blessed be God? not only I feel that it is not permitted to men to scrutinize with profane looks the mysteries of religion, but I believe them with a holy respect; and far from being ashamed to acknowledge Jesus for my Saviour, I set my glory in it, and that persuasion makes me happy!"
He is indeed a new creature, and his conscience appears to be so tender, and his convictions of the need ©f a further change, so strong, that I am sunk in amazement and wonder! O what a prayer-hearing God have we to do with! "Ask, and you shall receive," is more than ever written on my heart! On the first of January, he was much blest, and told me he had found such a power to renew his covenant with the Lord as he had never done before. He broke out in prayer with such simplicity as delighted the whole congregation! In a few months he must leave me, and return to Switzerland-—I trust in the power of the Lord, to be a messenger of glad tidings to the dear family of his precious uncle. O, my God! what hast thou done for thy poor worm in the day of her adversity V "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!"