this would not be so great a trial; but my health is now much better. I thought I saw the port, but I seem put back again; and perhaps I may live some years. And must I always live at this poor rate? My very heart and soul seem to groan for a closer communion with my God! At some moments (I think every day) I feel as it But in a were a sweet rest; I seem centred in Jesus. few minutes it draws in again, and then I seem to be always believing and longing, but yet without any immediate answer. It is true, faith does not fail; it is in con-. stant exercise, and often seems to hope against hope. But all this I would not mind. Though Naaman was made whole in seven dips, I would not mind if the Lord made me dip seventy times seven. But my grief lies here, I am condemned, often once or twice a day, for some word, or thought, or action-chiefly in words. Indeed the condemnation does not seem to be from the Lord, as if it would come between my soul and him. But I see I have spoken unadvisedly with my lips, and I cannot bear the horror of the view. There are some persons with whom I have much business to transact, who do not see alike, or cordially love one another. In some things both are right, in others both are wrong. I have this connexion at present two ways, personally, and by correspondence, and I find it a hard thing to bear my testimony against that which is wrong, and to approve that which is right in both, and yet neither to write nor speak but exactly so far as truth and love requires. O that I may from this day see, as in letters of blood, before my eyes continually those words of the apostle, "He that offendeth not in tongue, the same is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body." Ah, Lord! how far am I yet from this perfection!

April 29. I had some liberty in prayer three times to-day, the most in the three o'clock hour in the room. I was praying for a clear discovery of the grace or state I might ask for, and expect. It came before me as a representation of Christ as the vine, and of my soul as

being a branch ingrafted therein. Then I saw clearly that every believer was a branch in him, in part united; but when the branch is perfectly united, it is absolutely a part of the vine. The sap runs freely through every part, it is completely of one nature with it. Then the mind is in us which was also in Christ. We live no longer, but Christ liveth in us, and are preserved from moment to moment by faith. Now if any knot or impediment were in any of the branches, it would hinder the free circulation of the pure sap through it, and that branch would wither, and in a degree be barren. Hence I saw sanctification in a clearer light than ever. It is to be perfectly ingrafted into the vine; to have no impediment remaining to hinder the flow of the sap, and while the soul thus abide by faith, it brings forth much fruit, and experimentally knows the meaning of those words of St. John, "He that abideth in Him sinneth not."

April 30. My soul hath been led to-day to look at the wondrous love of the Father! "He spared not his own Son; he so loved the world as to lay on him the iniquity of us all”—and "shall he not with him freely give us all things?”

June 4. Satan is striving hard to draw my mind back, but I have found this day a liberty to commit my whole cause into the hands of God. I feel a strong encouragement from these words, Every one that asketh receiveth. I ask in Jesus's name to be made a holy soul! O that all this day I may be kept, and directed by the Lord, and walk as in his immediate presence. O for that mind that was in thee!

June 26. Various providences of late, have more and more convinced me of the need of a further change. I have it at times; but something arises that seems selfish ; and again, like anger for a moment, which though never abiding, clearly convinces me I have not yet entered fully into rest. I long to be all devoted to my Lord, and to bring glory to him by every power,

July 6. At the class, as I was saying,-It was not any peculiar or sudden comforts, that so tended to the soul's sanctification, as a constant abandonment and resignation of the whole soul, with every concern, into the hand of Jesus; I felt in a moment such an insight into the love, faithfulness, and wisdom of Christ, as I cannot describe. O the security I saw in abandoning my soul to him! It was for a minute glorious indeed. I kept looking, but it drew back, as if a curtain was for a moment drawn up, discovering some glorious scene, and then gradually let down again. But it has left an increase of confidence. O could I always feel what I felt just then, it seems to me it would be a real heaven, and banish all sensibility of fear and suffering. It was what I never felt before in that degree.

July 15. I had some liberty in prayer this morning, as also at the ten o'clock hour. I found a blessing also in reading Mr. Whitefield's account of the dealings of God with his soul, written on board the ship in his way to Philadelphia. He prayed for the humility of Jesus ; and observes,—“ From my first awakening to the divine life, I felt a particular hungering and thirsting after the humility of Jesus Christ. Night and day I prayed to be a partaker of that grace, imagining that the habit of humility would be instantaneously infused into my soul. But as Gideon taught the men of Succoth with thorns, so God taught me humility by the exercise of strong temptation." I was thus led to consider the point; and though I clearly discerned the same workings of Providence over myself. How often have I been led to pray more for humility than for any other grace, because by nature it is the virtue I am the most contrary to; but in my deep affliction, I now discern, this was the Lord's way. There have been many seasons in which through pride, imprudence, sin of various kinds, I have brought great humiliations on myself;—and even where they are caused by our own sin, if they are borne with subjection of spirit to the correc

tions of God, they work in the end for the salvation of the soul. But at the season I refer to, that of the death of my dear husband, although it really seemed I spoke and acted in an upright spirit, and am now conscious how tender my heart was with the fear of offending, yet I said and did many, very many, unwise things, which tended to lessen me greatly in the eyes of others. O how needful for me to lie still in the hand of God, making it my only business to accept of every thing as from the Lord's hand, hanging on that word by faith, Thou shalt walk with me in white! I am convinced that the most profitable of all humiliations, are those that arise, through His grace, from a view of our own blunders, and even from our corruptions.

September 14. I have been much drawn to pray, that the great design of the Lord's coming may be answered, That he may destroy the works of the devil. I see, through his grace, my understanding is darkened. I ask in Jesus's name this work to be destroyed;-for by the knowledge of Christ alone can I be changed into his likeness. I see Satan raises false fears, false views, and wandering imaginations ;—I ask deliverance from all these!* My soul lies before the Lord in a waiting posture: in particular I ask power to consecrate the faculty of speech to the service of my God, so that I may never again speak an unadvised word.

September 15. Last Saturday (September 12,) I was ifty years old. O my God, how little have I gained of Thee in fifty years! Lord, let this be a jubilee year to me! I will try what prayer can do.-Lord, give mẹ a measure of that spirit in which Thou didst spend whole nights in prayer! Never was I more stript, more empty! I have no dependence but on Thyself. I long for close

* It is not clear that those great and precious promises, by which we are made partakers of the divine nature, secure to believers such a deliverance from these attacks, that they should not trouble them, and, at times, even agonize the soul. But they secure to them such an abiding in Christ, that none of those devices should prevail to unsettle their faith, or separate them from his love. Ed.

communion. My soul pants after it. I have wonderful answers to prayer! And I feel that my humiliations do me good. Yet I do not embrace them as I ought to do. It is perhaps a minute before I rightly enter into the gracious design. When I look to the Lord, all is right;-but I want such a habitual look, as shall enable me to receive them as a hungry man does his food! not only to take up, but to glory in the cross of the Lord Jesus. I seem to walk much more by faith than by sight. My soul seems to go out in desire and silent prayer. I am mostly in the act of crying, Come! But there seems silence on the side of the Lord! He does not answer by sweet comforts, only by power over sin, purity of mind in a good degree; and an almost constant act of sacrifice.* I love his will, bitter or sweet, but I want him as the bride in the Canticles, to kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for his love is better than wine.

September 16. This morning at the ten o'clock hour, I had freedom in praying for an entire change. I thought, -My situation as to outward things, is the most advantageous to a religious life that can be. I have no cares; indeed I have no need of care. I have plenty of all I can want. Sally, though a tender child, is one of much ability; laying herself out to serve and please me in all things. Matty, my other servant, of a most quiet and peaceable spirit, and rigidly honest and faithful. Blessed be God, her soul also comes forward in the divine life. Reflecting on this; I drew from it the following encouragement :-If I am thus favoured, is it not plain the Lord designs me to be one of those who are brought into close fellowship with himself? May I not attain to a fuller salvation than when involved in all my perplexities? My heart was encouraged. I thought on those words, " Men

* And was there no divine comfort in all these glorious marks and fruits of the new creation? There was.-Comfort high as heaven, and which hell can never imitate! far superior even to those sweet consolations which are so graciously bestowed on young converts, and which some sincere souls so greatly need throughout the whole of their pilgrimage. The lambs that he carries in his bosom. Ed.