For some weeks when near the hour of nature's sorrow, she was most sweetly carried on, often declaring she could feel no fear, for the Lord poured in his precious promises, and so filled her with his consolations as to keep her mind in perfect peace; assured from his own mouth, He would make all her bed in her sickness.

On Saturday, March the 4th, she was seized with a violent shivering. Then the enemy came in as a flood, with that thought, That she must die and leave her dear children. This conflict was severe; but she was enabled, as a true daughter of Abraham, to overcome From this season her will appeared to be entirely lost in that of God. The next day she was delivered of a child, which died the same night; and soon after she proved to be in a strong fever. Her sufferings were great and long, as she lived to the twenty-first day after her seizure. But she was a pattern of patience and thankfulness. What adds to both her and our trial was, the inflammation lay so on her lungs, that we could scarce understand any thing she said. But in this trial also she showed no impatience; and when a blister was brought for her back, (by which she had formerly suffered much,) she looked on it some moments, and said, My dear Saviour gave his back to the smiters, and so wil I. She constantly declared the Lord was with her; and one day, when my Sally reminded her of that promise, That "the Lord would make all her bed in her sickness," she answered, "He doth! he doth!" On the Tuesday she told me with tears of love and praise, how very sweet those words had been to her,

"All thine afflictions my glory shall raise,

And the deeper thy sorrows, the louder thy praise !"

Twice she had a sweet view of the invisible world, and the attendance of many of the heavenly hosts. Of this she would no doubt have told us much, but we could understand but little of her speech. One time as she was saying, "Hard work, hard work," Mrs. Purton (who was almost constantly with her) said, "What is hard

[PART VII. work?" She replied, "To leave the dear children. But the Lord says, Leave thy children to me, I will preserve them!" Inquiring one day how she found her mind, her answer was, "I have no will; it seems all lost in God. If he were to give me my choice, I do not know whether to choose life or death. But if the Lord should raise me, I am determined to live more to God than ever, and above all, to be more faithful in private prayer.' The last night Mrs. Yate said, Is your mind as calm as ever? she replied, "Quite so." And is Jesus as preciously present as he hath been all along? Her answer was, "More so than ever." On Friday, March 24, 1797, she appeared to be just going about eleven o'clock; breathing very hard, as she had done some hours. We went to prayer, and found the Lord very present; after which, as I was looking on her, I repeated,

And in a few moments her happy spirit left this vale of tears, to mingle with the blaze of day! She was in her thirty-third year. Her disorder was such as called for a very uncommon degree of attention and care. And O, how did we see the faithfulness of God! Such friends were raised, and such helps given in the hour of need, as made us say in truth, He counts our every hair! My Sally was enabled to be a great comfort to her, and oft did she express it. One day, looking earnestly on me, she said, "I have a deal to tell you, but I cannot speak it." When we meet above, she will perhaps tell me of some glorious views, and divine consolations, wherewith she was favoured, though she could not utter them here.

June 8. My faith seems increasing. I have clearer views of the fulness of the Saviour, and of the unbounded

privilege of believing. Many have observed, "You have what you believe for, and some have made a bad use of that privilege, not understanding what it is truly to believe." But it is still a great truth, is still a great truth, "Whatsoever ye ask in prayer, believing, you receive. God speaks of the things that are not, as though they were." So does faith. It sees the blessing of sanctification, and takes hold of the promise, and cries, Through Christ it is mine! I am not in full possession; yet, like a man that has an estate left him, he claims it as his own; and though opposed, struggles to get into the possession, and does not quit his claim, though often repulsed by him who unlawfully pretends to the right. The believing soul says, It is the will of God that I should feel evil no more —that is, I should no more let it in, however tempted. It is his will I should always conquer. My Lord tells me in his word, “This is the victory by which we overcome, even our faith." I must therefore use my weak faith, that it may grow stronger, which it certainly does by use. I must hold fast that strong rock. First, "Jesus hath borne all my sins in his own body on the tree;" therefore they are atoned for, and the atonement is mine by believing. Secondly, "Christ is made unto me of the Father, sanctification." He hath by his one offering perfected the whole work needful for the purification of the heart, and this is mine also by believing. He hath received the Holy Spirit to pour it out on his church— therefore it is mine, as far as I can believe, and so unite my soul by faith to God. Abiding in him, I am so far sanctified; and by the exercise of this hope, the soul is said (by St. John) to purify itself, even as God is pure. Not in degree, but in becoming of one nature. The light of the candle is fire, as really as the sun. So it may be said, that little flame is as the sun: both are of one nature. The promise of the baptism of the Spirit is to me. I claim it. Yea, and my dear Lord hath told me, "Thou shalt walk with me in white. I will thoroughly

I

purge away thy dross, and take away all thy tin." believe it is his will to do it this moment, but the way he hath appointed is faith; that is the appointed channel. "By grace are ye saved through faith." Now as far as faith can lay hold, I have it, and no farther. This is the secret of the Lord, which is with those that fear him." They turn to Jesus, and find all in him. It is impossible to stand one moment in any state, but by union with the Saviour as the Lord says by Isaiah, "Without me ye shall bow down among the prisoners. And the Saviour, "Without me ye can do nothing."

While I

As I was at prayer this morning my spirit was dissipated, and could not get near to the Lord.* waited before him, I felt those words applied,

"To be

spiritually-minded is life and peace." I discerned such. a light in the words as I never did before. One of my greatest conflicts has been with idle thoughts about doing that good which is not in my power. I remember an observation greatly blest to me on this head, by a good man now in eternity :-"Thoughts are of two kindseither the reptile, or the winged kind. Either they crawl on earth, as the reptile, or rise to heaven as on wings." This idea has been often blest to me. But this morning I had such a clear view into the blessing of keeping the mind occupied on spiritual things as encouraged me much. I now feel the power of it; to be spiritually-minded is life and peace. November 6. work in my soul. He hath brought me into a narrow path; and I find his faithful Spirit reproves me many times a day. O the need I feel of watchfulness! I have prayed many times for a tender conscience, quick as the But I apple of an eye, and in a measure I feel it so. want so to put on the Lord Jesus, that my God-" May look and love his image there." I feel a sweet love to,

Blessed be the Lord, I feel him at

* How little the most edifying reasonings avail when faith is not in exercise, Ed.

and rest in, the will of God, even in those things which come nearest to my heart. But there is a close communion-an intercourse, which I have not, Lord, take away whatever stands between !

An observation of a spiritual writer was last night very profitable to me. He says, "The soul who would come to the Lord, and be filled with the Holy Ghost, must begin by believing in Christ as Mediator. But he must force himself to that which is good, however his heart may be set against it. He should force himself to take insults and humiliations for the Lord's sake as with joy; and to exert a liberty in prayer, speaking to the Lord as if he had it. Above all, let him force himself to an assurance of the favour of God:* and shortly the Spirit of God will come upon him, and enable him to do all those things freely, from a pure nature within, which now he does by force. But never let him quit his hope, for then sin gains ground. But while a man retains his hope in God, sin dies away." I felt a sweet power all the time of my reading; and that word, That we should “force ourselves to assurance in God's love, was life to my soul. It is always a blessing to me when I resist discouragements to faith.

December 19. This is the day set apart for a national thanksgiving, on account of the victory gained at sea over our enemies. Blessed be the Lord, he hath hitherto preserved us. But clouds yet hang over our heads. Lord, teach our senators wisdom! Bless our good king, and guide him in every thing, that he may take such measures as shall tend to unite the hearts of his subjects!

We have had several deaths lately round about us. Some of them our own people. That blessed woman, Mary Barnard, is one. She died very happy, declaring to the last, that the covenant was signed and sealed with her Lord, and she was his by a marriage bond. She set

* That is, He should resolutely believe, that the general declarations of good will, made by the Lord to the human race, belong to him. Ed.