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I spent much of my time with Mrs. Ryan, and Mrs. Clark, and I trust in some degree partook of their spirit. After my return home I clearly discovered that I still conformed too much in my appearance to the spirit and fashions of the world; but I plainly saw a renunciation of that conformity would give my relations great offence. I loved my parents, and feared to disoblige them. I sought for arguments to quench that little spark of light which was kindling in my soul, conscious they could not see in my light, and knowing that obedience to parents was one of the first duties. I did so far quench it, that I put on again many of the things I had thrown off. My acquaintance took much notice of me, and I was so afraid of losing their good opinion, that I had no power to reprove sin, or even to refrain from joining in light or trifling conversation when in company. But I soon discerned the danger consequent on their approval, and therefore determined to weigh well what was most likely to please God, and by that to abide.

I prayed for direction, and saw clearly that plainness of dress and behaviour best became a Christian, and that for the following reasons.

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First. The apostle expressly forbids women professing godliness, to let their adorning be in apparel; allowing them no other ornament than that of a meek and quiet spirit.

Secondly. I saw the reasonableness of the command, and proved it good for a proud heart to wear the plain and modest livery of God's children.

Thirdly. It tended to open my mouth, for when I appeared like the world, in Babylonish garments, I had its esteem, and knew not how to part with it. But when I showed, by my appearance, that I considered myself as a stranger and foreigner, none can know (but by trying) what an influence it has on our whole conduct, and what a fence it is, to keep us from sinking into the spirit of the world. For there is no medium; they who are

conformed to the fashions, customs, and maxims of the world, must embrace the spirit also, and they shall find the esteem they seek; for the world will love its own. But let them remember also that word, The friendship of this world is enmity with God.

Fourthly. I saw myself as a steward, who must render an account for every talent, and that it was my privilege to have the smiles of God on every moment of my time, or penny of money which I laid out.

Fifthly. I saw clearly that the helping my fellow creatures in their need, was both more rational, and more pleasant, than spending my substance on superfluities; and as I am commanded to love my neighbour as myself, and to consider all done to the household of faith as done to Christ, surely I ought not only to suffer my superfluity to give way to their necessity, but also (as occasion may require,) my necessities to their extremities.

Sixthly. But it is not only the talent of money, but of time, which is thrown away by conformity to the world, entangling us in a thousand little engagements, which a dress entirely plain cuts through at once.

Seventhly. The end usually proposed by young per sons in their dress, is such as a devout soul would abominate. A heathen may say, it will promote my being comfortably settled in life; but I believe the Lord appoints the bounds of our habitation, and that no good thing shall he withhold from those who walk uprightly. I have therefore nothing to do, but to commend myself to God, in holy obedience, and to leave every step of my life to be guided by his will. I will therefore make it my rule to be clean and neat, but in the plainest things, according to my station; and whenever I thought on the subject, these words would pass through my mind with power, For so the holy women of old adorned themselves.

As soon as I saw my way clearly, I ventured to open my mind to my father concerning dress, as I had done before with regard to public places; entreating him to

bear with me, while I endeavoured to show him my reasons for refusing to be conformed to the customs, fashions, and maxims of the world. He heard me with great patience; and as I loved him tenderly, it came very near me to oppose him. My trials increased daily. I was perplexed to know how far to conform, and how far to resist. I feared on the one hand, disobedience to my parents, and on the other, disobedience to God.

My dear mother had sometimes expressed a belief, that it would be better for the family if I were removed from it, lest my brothers, who were younger than me, should be infected by my sentiments and example. Yet she did not see it clear to bid me go; but rather wished me to depart of my own accord. The furnace now became hot; but I did not dare to come out without the Lord. Indeed, could there have been any amicable agreement between us, and that I had my parents' leave to live elsewhere, I would gladly have accepted it. I even made some distant proposals of this kind, but they never saw it good to concur. Providence thus overruled my desire for wise ends and to run away from my father's house, I could not think of. I was twenty-one years of age, and had a small fortune of my own. I saw myself on the verge of a material change, and it was easy to discern that my father's house would not long be a refuge for me ; but in what manner I should be removed, or what trials I might yet have to go through, I could not tell. The continual language of my heart was, I am oppressed, Lord, undertake thou for me.

One day my father said to me, "There is a particular promise which I require of you, that is, that you will never, on any occasion, either now, or hereafter, attempt to make your brothers what you call a Christian." I answered, (looking to the Lord,) "I think, Sir, I dare not consent to that." He replied, "Then you force me to put you out of my house," I answered, I answered, "Yes, Sir, according to your views of things, I acknowledge it; and,

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if I may but have your approval, no situation will be disagreeable.” He replied, “There are many things in your present situation, which must be, I should think, very uncomfortable..' This I acknowledged, and added, that "If he would but say he approved of my removal, I would take a lodging which I had heard of at Mrs. Gold's, in Hoxton Square; but that no suffering could incline me to leave him, except by his free consent." He replied, with some emotion, "I do not know you ever disobliged me wilfully in your life, but only in these fancies; and my children shall always have a home in my house." As I could not but discern a separation would take place, (though I knew not how nor when,) I judged it most prudent to take the lodgings, that, in case I should be suddenly removed, I might have a home to go to ; which I preferred to the going into any friend's house as a visiter. I also hired a sober girl, to be ready whenever I might want her. I informed my mother, a short time after, of the steps I had taken. She gave me two beds, one for myself, and a little one for my maid; and Someappeared to converse on it in a way of approval. thing, however, seemed to hold us, on both sides, from bringing it to the point.

For the next two months I suffered much; my mind was exercised, with many tender and painful feelings. One day my mother sent me word, "I must go home to my lodgings that night." I went down to dinner, but they said nothing on the subject; and I could not begin it. The next day, as I was sitting in my room, I received again the same message. During dinner, however, nothing was spoken on the subject. When it was over, I knew not what to do. I was much distressed. I thought, if they go without saying any thing to me, I cannot go; and if they should not invite me to come and see them again, how shall I bear it? My mind was pressed down with sorrow by this suspense. Just as they were going out, my mother said, "If you will, the coach, when it

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has set us down, may carry you home to your lodging." My father added, "And we shall be glad to see you to dinner next Tuesday." This was some relief. mained silent. When the coach returned, I ordered my trunk into it; and struggling with myself, took a kind of leave of each of the servants, as they stood in a row in tears, in my way out of the house. About eight o'clock I reached my lodging.

It consisted of two rooms, as yet unfurnished. I had neither candle, or any convenience. The people of the house I had never seen before, only I knew them by character to be sober persons. I borrowed a table and a candlestick, and the window seat served me as a chair. When bolting my door, I began to muse on my present situation.

I am, said I, but young-only entered into my twentysecond year. I am cast out of my father's house. I know the heart of a stranger; but, alas! how much more of it may I yet have to prove? I cried unto the Lord, and found a sweet calm overspread my spirit. I could in a measure act faith on these words :-"When thy father and thy mother forsake thee, the Lord shall take thee up." The following reflections also arose in my mind. I am now exposed to the world, and know not what snares may be gathering around me. I have a weak understanding, and but little grace. Therefore, now, before any snare has entangled me, I shall form a plan for my future conduct, and endeavour to walk thereby. First, I will not receive visits from single men, and in order to evade the trial more easily, I will not get acquainted with any; I will, as much as possible, refrain from going into any company where they are. Secondly, I will endeavour to lay out my time by rule, that I may know each hour what is to be done : nevertheless I will cheerfully submit to have these rules broken or overturned, whenever the providence of God thinks fit so to do. And thirdly, I will endeavour to fix my mind on the example of Jesus Christ, and to lead a.

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