of death, from my tongue being tied, and much bleeding ensued from having it cut. It was thought I should be dumb. But thou, O Lord! saw good to give me my speech. Ah, Lord, how have I used that great talent? How often have I abused thy goodness, and offended with my tongue? I feel an earnest cry for a full and perfect devotedness of soul to thee; and my faith seems to be increased in the belief I shall be so. While speaking on Monday night, in a very full meeting, the Lord was very present, and I saw such a great salvation before me as I cannot express. And has my Saviour bore all the curse? And has he taken our nature into the Godhead? O, what may we not expect? Lord, enlarge my faith! November 24. Since I last wrote, I have seen much of the goodness of the Lord. What an answer of prayer is the amendment of Miss Tooth! My gracious Lord would not give me sorrow upon sorrow. O, how good it is to stand still and see his salvation! This summer I have been better in health than for some years, and have found much of his presence in the work of God. ago. On the 12th of this month, the day of renewed dedication of myself to God, I felt a blessing in the remembrance of the precious gift given me twenty-nine years O what a train of good things have sprung therefrom! O my Lord, none but thyself can know what an advantage I have drawn from that union! O that my dear husband's prayers may be fully answered in me, that I may become the habitation of God through the Spirit! December 18. Being ill, I could not go out, but prayed, if the Lord saw it good, that I might have strength for Sunday noon, and Monday night, the times when we have large congregations-and, blessed be his name! I have had hitherto the answer to my prayer. I felt, this morning, very lame in my knees, but yet able to walk about, and, in the room last night, the Lord was with me, and brought me comfortably through. January 7, 1811. And do I see another year! O my fod, may I live this year as I have never yet done! I have had, for six weeks, a return of my winter cough, but have been enabled to go out on Sunday noon, and Monday night, as usual. Blessed be the Lord for that indulgence! Never did eternity appear so near. I feel its importance; but O, I want it to drink up every thought, and fill up every moment. January 14. The complaint on my lungs grows worse. I seem to be going fast. Saturday and yesterday were days of recollection, blessed be God! I went out yestérday at noon, and had a comfortable time with the dear people. I read and spoke an hour. The subject was, Jacob blessing his sons. I seemed to be no worse, and on my return had a tolerable night; but this morning I feel my breath much affected, and my strength seems to go fast. Eternity looks very sweet, yet I have fiery darts. I long for a clearer view-but I praise the Lord for more constant power to obey that command, Pray without ceasing. February 9. Those words seem to dwell mightily on my mind, "Praying always, and watching thereunto with all perseverance." Lord, give me the power this day! Let my spirit every moment be looking out for thee, as the watchman for the morning. The Lord has been drawing my soul nearer to himself for some days. O, how my soul longs to be wholly lost in God! This day I have been greatly humbled under a sense of the little progress I have made, seeing my lot hath been cast with the most excellent of the earth. May 25. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits! I am surrounded with mercies. Sure none ever had more cause for thankfulness. O that my heart could overflow with praise in proportion thereto! O my Saviour, purify my soul unto thyself! I know thou hast all power. The other day, as a useless thought occurred to my mind, I felt that word with a solemn weight,-The place where his honour dwelleth. It called me back in a moment, with that idea, that my soul is the place where his honour ought to dwell. It is a great thing to keep the heart with all diligence from the dangerous avenue of the imagination. My soul doth rejoice over some who have been brought in of late. One young man, who was very wicked, came to one of the meetings; and hearing Miss Tooth observe, "We must have that faith which brings purity of heart, and power over sin," he thought, I am sure I have no such faith.-From that hour the Lord began to work on his soul. The conviction was deep, and his wife, his father and mother, and a cousin, were stirred up through him, and are all now members of the Society. Glory be to God, he continues all athirst both for his own soul and others. " Every moment, Lord, I also need the merit of thy death.” July 3. O how faithful is God! None ever trusted in him and was confounded. Much of his loving-kindness have I seen of late in the times of united worship. Yes, my adorable Lord, thou hast helped thy poor creature, and given me to feel the words which I spoke. Several have been blest, and most sweetly brought into pure love, and an awakening seems to spread among believers to press forward, and seek the rest which remains for the children of God. August 14. What did I feel this day twenty-six years, And when at the dying bed of my beloved husband! what have I gone through since that time! Well, it hath been all for good. I have needed every bitter cup I have had to drink; but what mercies have I also received! What tender care hath my almighty and loving Redeemer shown in my behalf! That word hath indeed been fulfilled, A judge of the widow is God in his holy habitation. But I might have grown much more than 1 have. O my Saviour, show me how it is now with my soul! Blessed be the name of the Lord, I feel my conscience more and more tender, and a greater power to embrace the cross, and to keep in the presence of God. It is a season of trial, but I expect much spiritual good to arise therefrom. I long to be lost and swallowed up in God. September 12. Glory be to thee, my gracious Redeemer, who hast preserved me seventy-two years! I have been for some time very poorly with the complaint on my lungs, and one day as I was sitting in the study, thinking what I might have to go through, I felt applied to my mind a word my dear husband spoke to me,"Thou shalt not suffer long," then he added, "Hope to the end, in Jesus hope ;-you cannot fail if God is love." My heart answered, God is love, and I shall prove his faithfulness, whatever I have to go through. Blessed be God, I am still enabled to keep up my meetings, though with labour, and we have much of the presence of God. We have now got three new preachers on the circuit. Lord, make their word powerful! We have prayed much for them. September 19. Last night in my sleep that word was spoken to me, None shall pluck thee out of my Father's hand. I did not wake, but in my sleep made reflections on it. O my precious Lord, thou art gracious, but I long for a closer union with thee! My breath is very short on the least motion; and yet I can go up and down to the meetings, blessed be God! We have been reading in the family of late an account of the martyrs. O how I admired the power of God in them! Lord, how poor a disciple am I, ready to shrink at a little suffering! O Lord, increase my faith! Last night I was uncommonly ill;-but as I lay quiet, it was spoke as if to both ear and heart, "Give to the winds thy fears." Then followed the whole verse, with great power: "Give to the winds thy fears, Hope and be undismay'd, God hears thy sighs, and counts thy tears, God shall lift up thy head." October 16. To-day in reading the 1st and 2d chapters of Deuteronomy, where Moses bids them trust in the Lord who had done such wonders for them in Egypt, and in the wilderness, &c. I was led to look back through my past life, and consider the tender care the Lord hath taken of me, even to this hour, yea in the smallest things, as well as in the greatest. O what wonders I could relate! O my precious Lord, increase my faith and love, I pray thee, abundantly! I see eternity very near. Lord, open my eyes to a clearer view of that blessed world! November 22. Solemn thoughts the 12th of this month rested on my mind, and also great thankfulness. Blessed be God for that sweet and gracious union commenced with my dear husband thirty years ago, and eternally to last. My asthmatic disorder increases, and sometimes in the meetings I feel much difficulty. Well, all is right. Thy will, O my precious Saviour! is all. I feel a pain in the thought of giving up the Sunday noon, and Monday night meetings. If the Lord would be. pleased to give me strength for these seasons, I should be thankful. I wish to give my last breath to the dear people of God. December 27. O my soul, why dost thou not praise the Lord in a more abundant manner! Surely I am in a land flowing with milk and honey. Last night, when uncommonly ill with my asthma, I was obliged to sit up in my bed a good while, and it seemed as if my breath would stop; O how gracious was the Lord! I felt such a sense of quiet safety as I cannot express! I thought, what a mercy is a good bed-a fire in my room- -while many poor creatures are starving with cold this hard frost! A kind friend in the next bed, who will attend my call; and, above all, a God of love to trust in! I said, Lord, speak to me !-Immediately that word passed through my mind, "Jesus doth my burden bare, I thought of the great and amazing transaction commemorated at this season, and foretold for four thousand years! Truly "the secret of the Lord is with those who fear him." While the Jews expected him to come in great pomp, he came as a babe in the man |