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XVII.

SER M. and folid qualities counterbalance the common infirmities of men. It is to these qualities you are to look in forming friendships; to good fenfe and prudence, which constitute the bafis of every refpectable character; to virtue, to good temper, to steadiness of affection; and according to the union of those dispofitions, esteem yourselves happy in the friend whom you chufe.

In the fecond place, I must admonish you not to be hurt by differences of opinion arifing in intercourfe with your friends. It is impoffible for these not to

occur.

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Perhaps no two perfons were ever caft fo exactly in the fame mould, as to think always in the same manner, on every subject. It was wifely contrived by Providence, that diverfity of fentiment should take place among men, on purpose to exercise our faculties, and to give variety to human life. Perpetual uniformity of thought would become monotonous and infipid. When it is with regard to trifles

XVII.

trifles that diverfity or contrariety of opi- S ER M. nions shows itself, it is childish in the last degree, if this become the ground of eftranged affection. When from fuch a cause there arifes any breach of friendship, human weakness is then discovered in a mortifying light. In matters of serious moment, the fentiments of the best and worthieft may vary from those of their friends, according as their lines of life diverge, or as their temper, and habits of thought, prefent objects under different points of view. But among candid and liberal minds, unity of affection will still be preferved. No man has any title to erect his own opinions into an univerfal and infallible standard; And the more enlarged that any man's mind is, the more readily he will overlook difference in sentiments, as long as he is perfuaded that the mind of his friend is upright, and that he follows the dictates of confcience and integrity.

VOL. IV.

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In the third place, It is material to XVII. the preservation of friendship, that openness of temper and manners, on both hands, be cultivated. Nothing more certainly diffolves friendship, than the jealoufy which arises from darkness and concealment. If your fituation oblige you to take a different fide from your friend, do it openly. Avow your conduct; avow your motives; as far as honour allows, disclose yourselves frankly; feek no cover from unneceffary and myfterious fecrecy. Mutual confidence is the foul of friendship. As foon as that is deftroyed, or even impaired, it is only a fhow of friendship that remains. What was once cordial intimacy, degenerates first into formal civility. Conftraint on both fides next fucceeds; and difguft or hatred foon follow.-The maxim that has been laid down by certain crooked politicians, to behave to a friend with the fame guarded caution as we would do to an enemy, because it is poffible that he may one day become fuch, difcovers a mind which never

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XVII.

was made for the enjoyments of friend- s E R M. ship. It is a maxim which, not unreasonably I admit, may find place in those political and party friendships, of which I before fpoke, where perfonal advancement is always, in view. But it is altogether inconfiftent with the spirit of those friendships, which are formed, and understood to be nourished, by the heart.

THE fourth advice which I give is, To cultivate, in all intercourse among friends, gentle and obliging manners. It is a common error to suppose, that familiar intimacy fuperfedes attention to the leffer duties of behaviour; and that, under the notion of freedom, it may excufe a careless, or even a rough, demeanour. On the contrary, an intimate connection can only be kept up, by a constant wish to be pleasing and agreeable. The nearer and closer that men are brought together, the more frequent that the points of contact between them become, there is the greater neceffity for the furface being smooth, and every thing

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SER M. thing being removed that can grate or of XVII. fend.-Let no harshness, no appearance

of neglect, no fupercilious affectation of fuperiority, occur in the intercourse of friends. A tart reply, a proneness to rebuke, a captious and contradictious fpirit, are often known to embitter domeftic life, and to fet friends at variance. In those smaller articles of behaviour, where men are too apt to be careless, and to indulge their humour without restraint, the real character is often understood to break forth, and fhew itself. It is by no means enough, that, in all matters of ferious intereft, we think ourselves ready to prove the fincerity of our friendship. These occur more rarely. The ordinary tenor of life is compofed of small duties and offices, which men have occafion daily to perform; and it is only by rendering daily behaviour agreeable, that we can long preferve the comforts of friendship.

IN the fifth place, let me caution you not to listen rafhly to evil reports against

your

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