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hope of saving themselves, in order to their coming to Christ for salvation. He had long been striving after this view of things; supposing that this would be an excellent frame of mind, to be thus emptied of a dependence upon his own goodness; that God would have respect to this frame, would then be well pleased with him, and bestow eternal life upon him. But when he came to feel himself in this helpless, undone condition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts and expectations; so that it was not the same frame, nor indeed any thing like the frame after which he had been seeking. Instead of its being a good frame of mind, he now found nothing but badness in himself, and saw it was for ever impossible for him to make himself any better. He wondered, he said, that he had ever hoped to mend his own heart. He was amazed that he had never before seen, that it was utterly impossible for him by all his contrivances and endeavours to do any thing in that way, since the matter now appeared to him in so clear a light. Instead of imagining now that God would be pleased with him for the sake of this frame of mind, and this view of his undone estate, he saw clearly, and felt that it would be just with God, to send him to eternal misery; and that there was no goodness in what he then felt; for he could not help seeing, that he was naked, sinful, and miserable, and that there was nothing in such a sight to deserve God's love or pity.

"He saw these things in a manner so clear and convincing, that it seemed to him, he said, he could convince every body of their utter inability to help themselves, and their unworthiness of any help from God. In this frame of mind he came to public worship this evening; and while I was inviting sinners to come to Christ naked and empty, without any goodness of their own to recommend them to his acceptance, then he thought with himself that he had often tried to come and give up his heart to Christ, and he used to hope that some time or other he should be able to do so. But now he was convinced that he could not, and that it was utterly vain for him ever to try any more; and he could not, he said, find a heart to make any further attempt, because he saw it would signify nothing at all; nor did he now hope for a better opportunity or more ability hereafter, as he had formerly done, because he saw, and was fully convinced that his own strength would for ever fail.

"While he was musing in this manner, he saw, he said, with his heart, which is a common phrase among them, something that was unspeakably good and lovely, and what he had never seen before; and "this stole away his heart whether he would or no." He did not, he said, know what it was that he saw. He did not say, "this is Jesus Christ;" but it was such glory and beauty as he never saw before. He did not now give away his heart, as he had formerly intended and attempted to

do; but it went away of itself after that glory which he then discovered. He used to make a bargain with Christ, to give up his heart to him that he might have eternal life for it. But now he thought nothing about himself, or what would become of him hereafter; but was pleased, and his mind wholly taken up with the unspeakable excellency of what he then beheld. After some time he was wonderfully pleased with the way of salvation by Christ; so that it seemed unspeakably better to be saved altogether by the mere free grace of God in Christ; than to have any hand in saving himself. The consequence of this exercise is, that he appears to retain a sense and relish of divine things, and to maintain a life of seriousness and true religion."

The next day BRAINERD set out on a journey to Elizabeth Town, to confer with the Correspondents at their meeting there, and enjoyed much spiritual refreshment from day to day, through this week. The things expressed in this space of time are such as these: serenity, composure, sweetness, and tenderness of soul; thanksgiving to God for his success among the Indians; delight in prayer and praise; sweet and profitable meditations on various divine subjects; longing for more love, for more vigour to live to God, for a life more entirely devoted to him, that he might spend all his time profitably for God and his cause; conversing on spiritual subjects with affection; and lamentation for unprofitableness.

Lord's day, Jan. 26. [At Connecticut Farms.] "Was calm and composed. Was made sensible of utter inability to preach without divine help; and was in some good measure willing to leave it with God to give or withhold assistance, as he saw would be most for his own glory. Was favoured with a considerable degree of assistance in my public work. After public worship I was in a sweet and solemn frame of mind, thankful to God that he had made me in some measure faithful in addressing precious souls, but grieved that I had been no more fervent in my work; and was tenderly affected towards all the world, longing that every sinner might be saved; and could not have entertained any bitterness towards the worst enemy fiving. In the evening rode to Elizabeth Town; and while riding was almost constantly engaged in lifting up my heart to God, lest I should lose that sweet, heavenly solemnity and composure of soul which I then enjoyed. Afterwards was pleased to think that God reigneth; and thought I could never be uneasy with any of his dispensations, but must be entirely satisfied, whatever trials he should cause me in his church to encounter. Never felt more sedateness, divine serenity, and composure of mind; could freely have left the dearest earthly

friend for the society of angels and spirits of just men made perfect my affections soared aloft to the blessed Author of every dear enjoyment. I viewed the emptiness and unsatisfactory nature of the most desirable earthly objects, any further than God is seen in them, and longed for a life of spirituality and inward purity; without which I saw there could be no true pleasure.

"Crossweeksung, Jan. 1746,

Jan. 28th. "The Indians in these parts, have in times past run themselves in debt by their excessive drinking; and some have taken the advantage of them, and put them to trouble and charge, by arresting sundry of them; whereby it was supposed their hunting lands, in great part, were much endangered, and might speedily be taken from them. Being sensible that they could not subsist together in these parts, in order to their being a Christian congregation, if these lands should be taken, which was thought very likely, I thought it my duty to use my utmost endeavours to prevent so unhappy an event. Having acquainted the gentlemen concerned in this mission with the affair, according to the best information I could get of it, they thought it proper to expend the money which they had been, and still were collecting for the religious interest of the Indians, at least a part of it, for discharging their debts and securing these lands, that there might be no entanglement lying upon them to hinder the settlement and hopeful enlargement of a Christian congregation of Indians in these parts. Having received orders from them, I answered, in behalf of the Indians, eighty-two pounds, five shillings, N, Jersey currency, at eight shillings per ounce; and so prevented the danger of difficulty in this respect,

"As God has wrought a wonderful work of grace among these Indians, and now inclines others from remote places to fall in among them almost continually; and as he has opened a door for the prevention of the difficulty now mentioned, which seemed greatly to threaten their religious interests as well as worldly comforts, it is to be hoped that he designs to establish a church for himself among them, and hand down true religion to their posterity.

Jan. 30. "Preached to the Indians from John iii. 16, 17, There was a solemn attention and some affection visible in the audience: especially several persons, who had long been concerned for their souls, seemed afresh excited and engaged in seeking after an interest in Christ, One, with much concern, afterwards told me "his heart was so pricked with my preaching he knew not where to turn or what to do."

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Jan. 31. "This day the person whom I had made choice of and engaged for a school-master among the Indians, arrived among us, and was heartily welcomed by my people universally. Whereupon I distributed several dozens of primers among the children.

Feb. 1. "My school-master entered upon his business among the Indians. He has generally about thirty children and young persons in his school in the day time, and about fifteen married people in the evening school. The number of the latter sort of persons being less than it would be if they could be more constantly at home, and could spare time from their necessary employments for an attendance upon these instructions.

"Towards night enjoyed some of the clearest thoughts on a divine subject, viz. that treated of 1 Cor. xv. 13-16. But if there be no resurrection of the dead, &c. which I ever remember to have had upon any subject whatsoever; and spent two or three hours in writing them. I was refreshed with this intenseness; my mind was so engaged in these meditations I could scarcely turn it to any thing else, and indeed I could not be willing to part with so sweet an entertainment.

"In the evening catechised in my usual method. Towards the close of my discourse, a surprising power seemed to attend the word, especially to some persons. One man considerably in years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a conjurer, and murderer, and was awakened some months before, was now brought to great extremity under his spiritual distress; so that he trembled for hours together, and apprehended himself just dropping into hell, without any power to rescue or relieve himself. Divers others appeared under great concern as well as he, and solicitous to obtain a saving change.

Lord's day, Feb. 2. "Preached from John v. 24, 25. There appeared as usual some concern and affection in the assembly. Towards night proceeded in my usual method of catechising. Observed my people more ready in answering the questions proposed to them than ever before. It is apparent they advance daily in doctrinal knowledge. But what is still more desirable, the Spirit of God is yet operating among them; whereby experimental, as well as speculative knowledge is propagated in their minds.

"After public worship, my bodily strength being much spent, my spirits sunk amazingly, and especially on hearing that 1 was generally taken to be a Roman Catholic, sent by the Papists to draw the Indians into an insurrection against the English, that some were in fear of me, and others were for having me taken up by authority and punished. Alas, what will not the devil do to bring a slur and disgrace on the work of God! O,

how holy and circumspect had I need to be! Through divine goodness I have been enabled to mind my own business in these parts as well as elsewhere; and to let all men, and all denominations of men alone, as to their party notions, and only preached the plain and necessary truths of Christianity, neither inviting to, nor excluding from any meeting, any of any sort or persuasion whatsoever. Towards night the Lord gave me freedom at the throne of grace in my first prayer before my catechetical lecture; and, in opening the xvth Psalm to my people, my soul confided in God; although the wicked world should slander and persecute me, or even condemn and execute me as a traitor to my king and country. Truly, "God is a present help in time of trouble." In the evening my soul was in some measure comforted, having some hope that one poor soul was brought home to God this day; though the case did by no means appear clear. Oh that I could fill up every moment of time during my abode here below in the service of my God and King.

Feb. 3. "My spirits were still much sunk with what I heard the day before of my being suspected to be engaged in the Pretender's interest. It grieved me, that after there had been so much evidence of a glorious work of grace among these poor Indians, as that the most carnal men could not but take notice of the great change made among them, so many poor souls should still suspect the whole to be only a Popish plot, and so cast an awful reproach on this blessed work of the divine Spirit, and at the same time wholly exclude themselves from receiving any benefit by this divine influence. This put me upon searching whether I had ever dropped any thing inadvertently, which might give occasion to any to suspect that I was stirring up the Indians against the English; and could think of nothing, unless it was my attempting sometimes to vindicate the rights of the Indians, and complaining of the horrid practice of making the Indians drunk, and then cheating them out of their lands and other property. Once I remembered I had done this with too much warmth of spirit, which much distressed me; thinking that it might possibly prejudice them against this work of grace to their everlasting destruction. God, I believe, did me good by this trial, which served to humble me, and show me the necessity of watchfulness, and of being wise as a serpent as well as harmless as a dove. This exercise led me to a throne of grace, and there I found some support: though I could not get the burden wholly removed. Was assisted in prayer, especially in the evening."

He remained still under a degree of anxiety about this affair, which continued to have the same effect upon him to cause him VOL. X.

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