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The winds my prayers, my sighs, my numbers bear,
ELOISA TO ABELARD.
ARGUMENT. Abelard and Eloïsa flourished in the twelfth century; they were two of the most distinguished persons of their age in learning and beauty, but for nothing more famous than for their unfortupate passion. After a long course of calamities they retired each to a several convent, and consecrated the remainder of their days to religion. It was many years after this separation, that a letter of Abelard's to a friend, which contained the history of his misfortune, fell into the hands of Eloïsa. This awakening, all her tenderness, occasioned those celebrated letters (out of which the following is partly extracted) which give so lively a picture of the struggles of grace and nature, virtue and passion. In these deep solitudes and awful cells, Where heavenly-pensive contemplation dwells, And ever-musing melancholy reigns; What means this tumult in a vestal's veins? Why rove my thoughts beyond this last retreat ? Why feels my heart its long-forgotten heat? Yet, yet I love !-From Abelard it came, And Eloïsa yet must kiss the name.
Dear, fatal name! rest ever unreveal'd,
In vain lost Eloïsa weeps and prays ;
Relentless walls! whose darksome round contains
Soon as thy letters trembling I unclose, That well-known name awakens all my woes. Oh, name for ever sad! for ever dear! Still breathed in sighs, still usher'd with a tear. I tremble too, where'er my own I find, Some dire misfortune follows close behind. Line after line my gushing eyes o'erflow, Led through a sad variety of woe : Now warm in love, now withering in my bloom, Lost in a convent's solitary gloom! There stern religion quench'd th' unwilling flame, There died the best of passions, love and fame.
Yet write, oh write me all, that I may join Griefs to thy griefs, and echo sighs to thine, Nor foes nor fortune take this power away; And is my Abelard less kind than they? Tears still are mine, and those I need not spare. Love but demands what else were shed in prayer; No happier task these faded eyes pursue; To read and weep is all they now can do.
Then share thy pain, allow that sad relief; Ah, more than share it, give me all thy grief. Heav'n first taught letters for some wretch's aid, Some banish'd lover, or some captive maid; They live, they speak, they breathe what love inspires, Warm from the soul, and faithful to its fires. The virgin's wish without her fears impart, Excuse the blush, and pour out all the heart,
Speed the soft intercourse from soul to soul,
Thou know'st how guiltless first I met thy flame,
How oft, when press’d to marriage, have I said, Curse on all laws but those which love has made ! Love, free as air, at sight of human ties, Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies. Let wealth, let honour, wait the wedded dame, August her deed, and sacred be her fame; Before true passion all those views remove; Fame, wealth, and honour! what are you to love? The jealous god, when we profane his fires, Those restless passions in revenge inspires, And bids them make mistaken mortals groan, Who seek in love for aught but love alone. Should at my feet the world's great master fall, Himself, his throne, his world, I'd scorn them all: Not Cæsar's empress would I deign to prove; No, make the mistress to the man I love. If there be yet another name more free, More fond than mistress, make me that to thee ! Oh, happy state! when souls each other draw, When love is liberty, and nature law: All then is full, possessing and possess'd, No craving void left aching in the breast: E'en thought meets thought, ere from the lips it part, And each warm wish springs mutual from the heart. This sure is bliss (if bliss on earth there be), And once the lòt of Abelard and me.
Alas, how changed ! what sudden horrors rise! A naked lover bound and bleeding lies ! Where, where was Eloïse ? her voice, her hand, Her poniard had opposed the dire command. Barbarian, stay! that bloody stroke restrain: The crime was common, common be the pain. I can no more ; by shame, by rage suppress'd, Let tears and burning blushes speak the rest.
Canst thou forget that sad, that solemn day, When victims at yon altar's foot we lay? Canst thou forget what tears that moment fell, When, warm in youth, I bade the world farewell ? As with cold lips I kiss'd the sacred veil, The shrines all trembled, and the lamps grew pale : Heaven scarce believed the conquest it survey'd, And saints with wonder heard the vows I made. Yet then, to those dread altars as I drew, Not on the cross my eyes were fix'd, but you : Not grace, or zeal, love only was my call; And if I lose thy love, I lose my all. Come, with thy looks, thy words, relieve my woe; Those still at least are left thee to bestow. Still on that breast enamour'd let me lie, Still drink delicious poison from thy eye, Pant on thy lip, and to thy heart be press'd; Give all thou canst—and let me dream the rest. Ah, no! instruct me other joys to prize, With other beauties charm my partial eyes, Full in my view set all the bright abode, And make my soul quit Abelard for God.
Ah! think at least thy flock deserves thy care, Plants of thy hand, and children of thy prayer. From the false world in early youth they fled, By thee to mountains, wilds, and deserts led. You raised these hallow'd walls; the desert smiled, And paradise was open'd in the wild. No weeping orphan saw his father's stores Our shrines irradiate, or emblaze the floors; No silver saints, by dying misers given, Here bribe the rage of ill-requited Heaven ; But such plain roofs as piety could raise, And only vocal with the Maker's praise.
In these lone walls (their day's eternal bound),
Yet here for ever, ever must I stay;
Ah, wretch ! believed the spouse of God in vain,