CRUEL MAN.

What advantage! why, if I can make you fign, it will be worth a good canonship to me.

DYING MAN.

Ah! brother; my laft moment approaches; I am expiring; but I will pray to God to touch your heart, that you may be converted,

CRUEL MAN.

2

The devil take the impertinent puppy he has not figned after all! Well, I'll e'en fign for him, it is but a little forgery.

The following letter is a confirmation of the above doctrine.

CHAP.

CHAP. XVII.

A LETTER from a Beneficed Prieft, to Father LE TELLIER, the Jefuit, dated the 6th of May, 1714.

Reverend Father,

THE

HE following is in obedience to the or ders I received from your reverence, to lay before you the most effectual means for delivering Jefus and his company from their ene

mies.

I believe there may be remaining at this time in the kingdom not more than five hundred thousand Hugonots, fome fay a million, others a million and a half; but let the number be what what it will, the following is my advice; which, however, as in duty bound, I fubmit with all humility to your reverence's judg

ment.

In the first place then, it will be very easy to feize in one day all the preachers, and to hang them all at one time and in one place, which

will

will not only be a very edifying, but also a very entertaining exhibition to the people.

Secondly, I would have all the fathers and mothers who are heretics murdered in their beds, because the killing them in the streets might occafion fome little disturbance; befides, by that means feveral of them might efcape, which is above all to be prevented, This execution is a neceffary corollary of our principles; for if we ought to kill a heretic, as fo many of our great divines have incontestably proved, it is evident, that we ought to kill them all without exception..

Thirdly, I would the very next day, marry all the daughters to good catholics, inasmuch as it would not be politic to depopulate the state fo much after the late war; but as for the boys of fourteen and fifteen years of age, who have already imbibed bad principles, which we cannot hope to root out, 'tis my opinion that they fhould be all caftrated, to prevent the race from being ever reproduced. As for the other younger lads, they may be brought up in our colleges, where they may be whipped till they have learnt by heart the works of Sanchez and Molinos.

Fourthly

Fourthly, I think, under correction, the fame method ought to be taken with all the Lutherans of Alface, for I remember in the year 1704, to have feen two old women of that country laugh on the day of our defeat at Blenheim..

Fifthly, What relates to the Janfenifts will perhaps appear a little more difficult: I believe their numbers may amount to about fix milTions, a little more or lefs; but this ought not to give any alarm to a perfon of your reverence's difpofition. I reckon among the Janfenifts all the parliaments who have fo unworthily maintained the liberties of the Gallican church. I leave it to your reverence to weigh with your ufual prudence, the most effectual methods for reducing these turbulent fpirits. The gunpowder-plot failed of the defired fuccess, thro' the weakness of one of the confpirators, who wanted to fave the life of his friend : but, as your reverence has no friend, the fame inconvenience is not to be apprehended; you may very eafily blow up all the parliaments in the kingdom with the compofition called Pulvis Pyrius, invented by the monk Schwartz. By my calculation, it will require upon an average thirty-fix barrels of powder for each of the parliaments; now if we multiply thirty

fix, the number of barrels, by twelve, the number of parliaments, it will make four hundred and thirty-two barrels, which, at a hundred crowns per barrel, will amount to not quite a hundred and thirty thousand livres; a mere trifle for the reverend father-general.

The parliaments thus difpofed of, you may bestow their places upon your congregationists, who are perfectly well versed in the laws of the realm.

Sixthly, It will be a very eafy matter to poifon the cardinal de Noailles, who is a very fimple, unfufpecting man.

Your reverence may take the fame steps for converfion with feveral of the refractory prelates; and their bishoprics, by a brief from the pope, may be put into the hands of the Jefuits: thus all the bishops that remain being staunch to the good caufe, and they making a proper choice of curates, I, with your reverence's permiffion, would give the following advice:

Seventhly and laftly, As the Janfenists are faid to take the facrament one time in the year at leaft, which is at Eafter, it would not be amifs