forthwith to be conducted to Condé, but were to be exchanged for prisoners of the allies, and particularly those of Warneton were mentioned in the demand. Both armies having stretched towards Mons with the utmost diligence, that of the allies, though they passed the much more difficult road, arrived first before that town, which they have now actu. ally invested; and the quarter-master-general was, at the time of dispatching these letters, marking the ground for the encampment of the covering army. 'To the booksellers, or others whom this adver tisement may concern. 'Mr. Omicron *, the unborn poet, gives notice, that he writes all treatises, as well in verse as prose, being a ninth son, and translates out of all languages without learning or study. 6 If any bookseller will treat for his pastoral' on the siege and surrender of the citadel of Tournay, he must send in his proposals before the news of a capitulation for any other town. The undertaker for either play-house may have an opera written by him; or if it shall suit their design a satire upon operas; both ready for next winter.' * Mr. Oldmixon was probably here ridiculed under the name of Mr. Omicron. No 63. SATURDAY, SEPT. 3, 1709. Quicquid agunt bomines nostri est farrago libelli. JUV. Sat. i. 85, 86. P. Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, White's Chocolate-house, September 2. Of the enjoyment of life with regard to others. I HAVE ever thought it the greatest diminution to the Roman glory imaginable, that in their institu. tion of public triumphs, they led their enemies in chains when they were prisoners. It is to be allowed that doing all honour to the superiority of heroes above the rest of mankind must needs con. duce to the glory and advantage of a nation; but what shocks the imagination to reflect upon is, that a polite people should think it reasonable, that an unhappy man who was no way inferior to the victor but by the chance of war, should be held like a slave at the wheels of his chariot. Indeed, these other cirumstances of a triumph, that it was not allowed in a civil war, lest one part should be in tears, while the other was making acclamations; that it should not be granted, except such a number were slain in battle; that the general should be disgraced who made a false muster of his dead; these, say, had great and politic ends in their being established, and tended to the apparent benefit of the common.wealth. But this behaviour to the con4 I quered had no foundation in nature or policy, only to gratify the insolence of a haughty people, who triumphed over barbarous nations, by acting what was fit only for those very barbarians to practise. It seems wonderful, that they who were so refined as to take care, that, to complete the honour done to the victorious officer, no power should be known above him in the empire on the day of his triumph, but that the consuls themselves should be but guests at his table that evening, could not take it into thought to make the man of chief note among his prisoners one of the company. This would have improved the gladness of the occasion; and the vic tor had made a much greater figure, in that no other man appeared unhappy on his day, than because no other man appeared great. But we will wave at present such important incidents, and turn our thoughts rather to the familiar part of human life, and we shall find, that the great business we contead for is in a less degree what those Romans did on more solemn occasions, to triumph over our fellow-creatures; and there is hardly a man to be found, who would not rather be in pain to appear happy, than be really happy and thought miserable. This men attempt by sumptuous equipages, splendid houses, numerous servants, and all the cares and pursuits of an ambitious or fashionable life. Bromeo and Tabio are particularly ill-wishers to each other, and rivals in happiness. There is no way in nature so good to procure the esteem of the one, as to give him little notices of certain secret points wherein the other is uneasy. Gnatho has the skill of doing this, and never applauds the improvements Bromeo has been many years making, and ever will be making, but he adds, 'Now this very thing was my thought when Tabio was pulling 6 up his underwood, yet he never would hear of it; but now your gardens are in this posture, he is ready to hang himself. Well, to be sincere, that situation of his can never make an agreeable scat ; he may make his house and appurtenances what he pleases, but he cannot remove them to the same ground where Bromeo's stands; and of all things under the sun, a man that is happy at second-hand is the most monstrous.' It is a very strange madness,' answers Bromeo, if a man on these occasions can think of any end but pleasing himself. As for my part, if things are convenient, I hate all ostentation. There is no end of the folly of adapting our affairs to the imagination of others.' Upon which, the next thing he does is to enlarge whatever he hears his rival has attempted to imitate him in; but their misfortune is, that they are in their time of life, in their estates, and in their understandings, equal; so that the emulation may continue to the last day of their lives. As it stands now, Tabio has heard, that Bromeo has lately purchased two hundred a year in the annuities since he last settled the account of their happiness, in which he thought himself to have the balance. This may seem a very fantastical way of thinking in these men; but there is nothing so common, as a man's endeavouring rather to go farther than some other person towards an easy fortune, than to form any certain standard that would make himself happy. Will's Coffee-house, September 2. Mr. Dactyle has been this evening very profuse of his eloquence upon the talent of turning things into ridicule; and seemed to say very justly, that there was generally in it something to disingenuous for the society of liberal men, except it were governed by the circumstances of persons, time, and place. 6 This talent,' continued he, is to be used as a man does his sword, not to be drawn but in his own defence, or to bring pretenders and impostors in society to a true light. But we have seen this faculty so mistaken, that the burlesque of Virgil himself has passed, among men of little taste, for wit; and the noblest thoughts that can enter into the heart of men levelled with ribaldry and baseness: though by the rules of justice, no man ought to be ridiculed for any imperfection, who does not set up for eminent sufficiency in that way wherein he is defective. Thus cowards, who would hide themselves by an affected terror in their mien and dress; and pedants, who would show the depth of their knowledge by a supercilious gravity, are equally the objects of laughter. Not that they are in themselves ridiculous, for their want of courage, or weakness of understanding; but that they seem insensible of their own place in life, and unhappily rank themselves with those whose abilities, compared to their defects, make them contemptible. At the same time, it must be remarked that risi bility being the effect of reason, a man ought to be expelled from sober company who laughs without it.' 'Ha! ha!' says Will Truby, who sat by, will any man pretend to give me laws when I should laugh, or tell me what I should laugh at?' 'Look ye,' answered Humphry Slyboots, you are mightily mistaken; you may, if you please, make what noise you will, and nobody can hinder an English gentleman from puting his face into what posture he thinks fit: but take my word for it, that motion which you now make with your mouth open, and the agitation of your stomach, which you relieve by holding your sides, is not laughter: laughter is a more weighty thing than you imagine; and I will tell you a secret, you never did laugh in |