tance, carried all before me, and was among the very first who received promotion from the commander-inchief after the close of the battle of Trafalgar, in which the D took no minor part.

Ours being one of the only three ships which saved and carried into port their captured enemies, I was sent on board the ship that struck to us to assist in taking her to Gibraltar, where we had scarcely arrived, before the D- came in, and my kind captain put into my hands a lieutenant's commission from Lord Collingwood, and a purse of doubloons as my share of some prizes lately captured; then wishing me all future good success, he left me to repair on board the C

ship I was appointed.

-r, to which

Thus did the world, or rather the providence of God smile upon me; men applauded my conduct, but I am sure that God condemned it. He was not as yet in afl or any of my thoughts as the chief good; the glory of his name was not my motive of action; nor was his word my rule of conduct. But amidst all the dangers and mercies, the bustle and delusive smiles with which I was surrounded, I was far from being happy, either before or after my promotion. The Lord did not suffer my conscience to become wholly callous, and every day I did more than sufficient to wound its feelings and raise its voice. Nothing short of the preventing mercies of God kept me from destroying myself and others in my paroxysms of anger and passion. Once I so nearly brought on an apoplectic fit, as to turn giddy, become speechless, stagger, and almost fall on the deck; and often has this unworthy hand levelled a poor offending

No

fellow-mortal at my feet on a trifling occasion. marvel then, that, when I retreated to my cabin, I was wretched in the review of my conduct.

Turning back again to the time previous to the battle of Trafalgar, and while I was serving in the D, I must now observe that the enemy assaulted me with the weapons of deism; doubts upon doubts, and one cavil after another, rushed on the mind, and induced me to call the whole authority of Scripture in question. Did the eternal Author of all being, indeed, give his only begotten Son to be the propitiation for sinners? was a question frequently suggested to my mind. I left off reading the Bible, and reasoned after the wisdom of man. Viewing the universe through the medium of recent astronomical discoveries, I beheld systems of worlds rising above each other in an innumerable multitude, and almost lost sight of our globe, as an atom in the vast field of creation. My belief was staggered at the price said to have been paid for the redemption of this atom, and I foolishly asked, what or who must redeem the millions of others?* The sight of the rainbow was, for some months, the constant introduction to these sceptical reasonings in it I conceived I had found out an undeniable instance of priestcraft, merely because I could describe how natural causes produce that beautiful effect. O Scepticism! thou destroyer of man's peace,

*In the fifth chapter of Fuller's "Gospel its own Witness," there is an admirable answer to this objection.

+ Whether during the age of the ante-diluvian world rain descended in its present usual form of showers, or whether the whole face of the ground continued to be watered by a mist going

thy chain, I can say from experience, is hard to be borne. No part of my life was more truly unhappy than this, in which I called in question the authority of revelation. I dreaded my own sentiments, yet continued to indulge them. I trembled at my creed, though I tried to hold it fast. Strange and miserable infatuation! Happy for me, no disciples of modern infidelity, nor any of their pernicious works, had yet fallen in my way, or I should probably have declared at once for the doctrines of Paine's Age of reason, &c. Since that time

up from it, as specified in Genesis ii. 6. and consequently, whether the bow did or did not appear before the flood, is not worth our staying to conjecture or enquire. One thing is clear to the intelligent mind, that the colours are the natural effect of a wellknown cause, and as such the bow contains no more of the finger of God than any other portion of his works. But in the then pride and ignorance of my heart, I did not once ask who established and gave laws to nature; nor did I once reflect on the divine condescension, thus stooping to give a promise of safety to offending men, and ratifying this promise anew whenever they behold this seal or natural sign in the cloud. Had it pleased the Lord to appoint any other part of his natural and visible works (for instance, every new or full moon, or every eclipse) as a remembrancer of the deluge, and of our safety from its recurrence, his goodness would have been equally conspicuous, though the sign itself would not have been so appropriate, so striking to the outward senses, as that of the glowing bow; because it is only when the sky is darkened with storms, and the torrents are descending to moisten, but not to destroy the earth, that this gracious and beautiful token appears. What time, then so appropriate-what part of all nature's productions so suited to confirm a merciful promise that the earth shall no more be destroyed by a flood? O! the wisdom and goodness of God, in giving the promise, and in selecting such a memorial of its continuance!

I have read some of their vain philosophy, their proud and blasphemous reasonings, and have been much struck at the similarity of their cavils and my own. Nay, I have seen their objections clothed in the very shape in which Satan formerly suggested them to my mind; and hence I knew who had taught them. May the Lord change their hearts, and preserve all mankind from their destructive opinions and principles.

"Ah me! the laurell'd wreath that murder rears,
Blood-nurs'd and water'd by the widow's tears,
Seems not so foul, so tainted, and so dread,

As waves the night-shade round the sceptic's head.
What is the bigot's torch, the tyrant's chain?
I smile at death, if heaven-born hope remain!
But if the warring winds of nature's strife
Be all the faithless charter of my life;

If chance awaked, inexorable power,
This frail and feverish being of an hour;
Doom'd o'er the world's precarious scene to sweep,
Swift as the tempest travels on the deep,
To know delight but by her parting smile,
And toil and wish, and weep a little while;
Then melt, ye elements, that form'd in vain,
This troubled pulse and visionary brain!
Fade, ye wild flowers, memorials of my doom,
And sink, ye stars, that light me to the tomb !"

CAMPBELL.

There is a

But blessed be God, things are not so. Gospel of peace given unto man; and in its hallowed pages life and immortality are brought to light. O blessed Bible! may thy doctrines and promises continue to cheer and support me and all the believing servants

of God through this vale of tears; for I know by experience, that the Assyrians, the Jarebs of this world, cannot heal a troubled mind, nor cure a wounded spirit.

During this period of scepticism, I remember being one evening below, and more than usually struck with dread at the thought of such consequences as must follow a denial of the Bible, should it, after all, prove to be the revealed will of God. In this perplexity and distress I knelt down by the side of a cannon which occupied one side of my cabin, and exclaimed, "Lord, show me whether the Bible is truth or falsehood;" and once more I had words suggested to my mind with as much power and distinctness, as those recorded in the former chapter; but assuredly from a different source. The former I then believed, and still do believe, were from the Spirit of God, encouraging me to hope and persevere in christian duty; while this was evidently from the spirit of evil to distress and perplex me. The words now suggested were these, "What a fool you are to suppose that the Almighty will regard such a request, or attend to any thing you say."

Whatever the reader may think, I can assure him that the force with which these words were suggested to or impressed on the mind, was such as I shall never forget, and such as at that moment actually startled and induced me to rise from my knees, and say, "Yes, it is indeed gross folly for me to encourage any such thought as that the Almighty will either attend to or regard me." I then went on deck, and for a considerable time endeavoured to forget the subject of the Scriptures altogether.