Mainte

nance.

Again, men should maintain their wives as becomes partners; they are friends and companions to their husbands, not flaves, nor menial fervants; and are to be partners in their fortunes: for, as they partake of their troubles and afflictions, it is just that they should share of their fortunes. For when a husband falls into decay, or any fort of calamity, he involves his wife with him; they are infeparable companions in mifery and misfortune: And what can make amends for this, but their partaking also in all their good fortune? Does not man exprefsly promise this in the matrimonial contract, by which it is provided she is to have the use of things neceffary, convenient, and delightful; to be as happy as his worldly condition can make her in a marriage ftate? So he is unjuft, as well as unkind, if he deny it; because she bargains for it upon her part, and he engages for it upon his. Nor does this obligation cease with the death of the husband; for, if the wife furvives, he muft provide for her so long as the lives, according to the quality and condition, they have lived in (if there be ability) and according to the custom of the place and nation where they are. Whence note, that not only churlish men are to blame, who deny their wives, whilft living, what is convebut even the best-natured men, who take no care of their fupport and maintenance, in cafe they out-live them, are properly bad husbands, who by their profuseness or idlenefs, by gaming and intemperance, expofe them to want and mifery, whom they leave naked and unprovided for, at the time of age perchance, when leaft able to help themselves; or, it may be, incumbered with a charge of children to be maintained out of the widows fmall income, or hand-labour. Such men in vain pretend to love and kindness, who are carelefs in this particular, and make not a provision for their widow-hood, as they are able, but leave wives deftitute and helpless; as if the forrows of their folitary ftate were not fufficient to load them with trouble enough. Not that I blame those men, whofe eftate, calling, or industry, cannot competently furnish them with maintenance; but fuch, who carelessly, waftefully, or otherwife, when in their power, take no care to prevent it.

nient ;

5

Nor

Inftruction.

Nor muft it be forgot that the apoftle lays it down as a duty of the husband to teach his wife what is for her eternal good and welfare, when he finds her ignorant of the means of falvation; for fo much is implied in that command to the Corinthians, where St. Paul bids the wives learn of their husbands at home: which alfo tacitly implies, that a master of a family should endeavour after chriftian knowledge, in order to perform this duty of inftruction to fuch as are under his care.

But above all, it is the mutual duty of husband and wife to be instant in prayer to God for each other, and To pray for to ftrive together for their spiritual and temporal each other. welfare; not only by exhortation to the performance of virtue, and avoiding and forfaking of vice, but by conftant example in the practice of every good work, both in their family and to every other object of pity and compaffion; otherwife their love cannot be accounted perfect; for that love can never be supposed to be grounded on virtue and religion, that can easily permit any one to run to their temporal or eternal ruin when in their power to prevent it. And therefore,

the chief con

fideration in

V. Whoever intend to marry fhould not fo much regard the outward shape or beauty, wealth, &c. as the The virtue fpiritual qualifications of the perfons to whom they of the perfon defire to be joined; which will make that ftate of life truly holy, and to serve to the great end of the marriage. foul's falvation. Altho' a competency for the ease of life is to be regarded; yet a virtuous man or woman is of more value than all the wealth and honours the world can afford. But, before we conclude, let us confider that folemn charge and declaration in the form of matrimony concern- Unlawful ing those that, without regard to the laws of God matrimony. and man, do rafhly enter into that ftate: For whoever has betrothed themselves by promife, to any other perfon before, or knowingly takes fuch a perfon in marriage, committeth adultery; because in juftice they belong to thofe to whom they had made their firft promife. And whoever - marries, within the degrees of kindred forbidden by God in Levit. xviii. is guilty of inceft, fo long as they live together.

Ο

See the admonition to thofe that intend to marry, at the end of this beck.

So

So that they are not only fins at the time, but are evil in their effects; which might be prevented, if it were duly confidered, as our church teacheth, that marriage is an honourable estate inftituted of God in the time of man's innocence; ⚫ and therefore is not by any to be enterprised nor taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to fatisfy men's carnal lufts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, difcreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly confidering the causes, ⚫ for which matrimony was ordained: and that as many as are coupled together otherwise than God's word doth allow, are not joined together by God, neither is their matrimony lawful.**

Ship.

SUNDAY IX. PART II. VI. The feventh relation is between FRIENDS: of all the Of friend relations, wherein we stand towards one another, there is none more ftrict and binding, none more neceffary and beneficial, than that of friendship. For human nature is imperfect; it has not fund enough to furnish out a folitary life; and the moft delicious place, barred from all commerce and fociety, would be infupportable, and make a man run mad with his own happiness. Befides, there are fo many adverfe accidents attending us, that, without the communion of friendship, virtue itself is not able to accomplish its ends; because the beft good man, on feveral occafions, often wants an affiftant, to direct his judgment, and quicken his industry, and fortify his fpirits. And when men have contracted friendship, and efpouted their fouls and minds to one another, there arifes a new relation between them, beyond what common charity creates. For, in this clofe and near relation, men give each other a property in themselves, to be guides and comforts in their doubts and forrows, monitors and remembrancers in their errors and oblivions, fhelters and refuges in oppreffions and calamities, and trustees to each other's thoughts and deeds. How much then are they mistaken, who efteem them their friends, who are only their companions in fin, or prompt, aid, or aflift them to offend God, defraud their neighbour, or pollute themselves? Certainly if the drunkard,

See the minifter's exhortation before the office of matrimony.

the

Its duties.

the covetous and flattering companion, deferves the name and place of a friend; then the devil himself may claim it in a much higher degree, in the mistaken notion of friendship. Whereas a true and fincere friend will discover himself chiefly by deterring us from vice, and setting us a pious example of virtue. And therefore

True friendship will approve itself further by a faithful difcharge of that truft repofed in any perfon. For a Faithfultrue friend can never be unjust in his dealings, nor nefs. betray the fecrets of one that puts confidence in him. He that takes advantage of his friend's credulity or fincerity, or weaknefs, ought to be defpifed by all men. Thefe are the treacherous wounds, from which, Solomon tells us, every friend will depart. And the best way to convince any one of the fincerity of our friendship is to watch all opporAffiftance. tunities to ferve him, and to be always ready to guide him with good advice; to comfort him under anxiety of mind; to relieve him as much as in our power, in his temporal wants; and even to run fome hazards, if it be poffible to fecure him from trouble and danger. And this must be a continued unwearied friendship: a friendship neither to be diffolved by length of time, nor broken by fome flight offences. But

The most certain means of convincing any one of the fincerity of our friendship is to take all opportunities Admonito exhort and encourage him in acts of piety, and tien. with freedom to fhew and reprove him for all finful and unbecoming behaviour: for felf-love is fo rooted in our nature, and we have that partiality to ourselves, that we do not fee our miscarriages, at least not in their true light; and therefore it is neceffary fome charitable hand should make us fenfible thereof. Moreover, all profeffions of friendship, without the use of fuch freedoms, will be apt to degenerate into flattery; and it is in vain we pretend to be readyandwilling to ferve our friends, when we neglect doing them that folid good to the foul. But great regard must be had to time and circumftances, that this practice of piety and friendship may have its defired end. And the occafion ought to be weighty and important; and we fhould take care that our reproof be free from paffion or selfintereft, left any other motive befides doing good fhould apQ 2

pear:

pear: the fofteft language, and the most favourable circumftances ought to concur to make it of force. Wherefore obferve, that the duties of friendship are eminently concerned in putting our friend in mind when he tranfgreffes the laws of God; by reprefenting unto him his faults, with the aggravations and confequences that attend them; that by a feafonable warning he may be recovered to a right ufe of things, and be preferved from that ruin which otherwife threatens his foul and body. And we are not only obliged, by the bonds of friendship, to admonifh our friend of his fault, but to take great care we do not fall into thofe crimes we at first have seen and blamed in him; this will be becoming partaker of another man's fins. For the partaking of other men's partake of fins is, when, before any wicked action is commitother men's ted, we are any ways knowingly aiding and abetting fins. towards the committing of it; or when, after it is committed, we are any ways approving or justifying of it; by either of which means we partake of other men's fins, though we are not the immediate actors in them or at leaft at the fame time we ought to condemn ourselves, that, by expofing our own follies, we may with the better grace rectify thofe of others; and we ought to mix due praifes with our reproofs, that the roughness of the one may be abated by the emulation that is raifed by the other expedient. In cafe we see our friend mifled, we must pray for him

When we

Prayer.

the more earnestly, that God would bring him to a right knowledge of his duty; and crown him with comfort in this life, and happiness in the world to come. And, Finally, confider that nothing but breach of truft and incor

Confancy.

rigible vice fhould ever break the unity of friends:

and no one betrays a greater weakness and folly, than fuch whofe ficklenefs and lightnefs of humour deprives them of the benefit of an old friend. A friend cannot be too old; wecannotenjoy a fincere friend too long. The very continuance of friendship, the conftant experience of another's fidelity, afliftance, and loving admonitions, muft make it of greater value and efleem. Therefore, fays Solomon, Thine own friend and thy father's friend forfake not: no, tho' perchance he offends thee infome little punctilio, or light offence..