MEDITATION XXXIX.

The Communications of Divine Grace.

NOR let thy poverty discourage thee, O my soul, as if I now advised to an impossible undertaking; for this is yet a farther instance of thy Lord's love, that he furnishes thee with the ornaments in which he likes to see thee, and such as could not be procured any where else, did not his bounty supply thee with them. By him alone it is, that thou art clothed with the robe of righteousness, and the garments of salvation, and put into a condition of honouring him with good works, and acceptable instances of piety and devotion. All these communications of his grace, like garments of the richest materials and most delightful colours, make up the dress, and set off the beauties of a heavenly soul. Whatever is necessary for thy health, whatever for thy refreshment and delight, whatever can restore lost beauty, or add to the gracefulness of that which thou already hast, thou needst not want; for he hath plenty of all, and distributes his stores liberally. See now what a noble provision is made for thee, and how abundant care hath been taken for the relief of all thy necessities. At first thou wert possessed of nothing, and he imparted to thee what was fitting this gift through thy default was lost, and he restored it to thee: thus art thou never forsaken in any of thy distresses; to convince thee how generous, how boundless an affection thy lover bears to thee. He will not lose thee; and

therefore he waits with great patience for thy better resolutions, and in much pity grants thee frequent opportunities of recovering again and again those precious advantages, which through thy own carelessness have been often forfeited and gone. So that in all this matter, this remarkable difference deserves to be thankfully considered, that all the damage thou sustainest is entirely from thyself, but all the recoveries from it are entirely from Him. And O! how many are there, who once received the same advantages with thee; but though equally favoured in the gift at first, yet were denied the privilege of having them restored when lost, which thou hast had so very often repeated, by the peculiar mercies of thy gracious God; the grace of doing well is never denied thee, when thou art as ready to receive and improve, as he constantly is to give it. And if thou become an instrument of great good, it is his mercy that exalts thee to this high pitch of virtue: but if thou find great difficulties, and canst not attain to the perfection thou labourest after, and eagerly desirest, yet this should be esteemed an effect of mercy too. For he knows best what is convenient for thee, and will make a more advantageous choice than thou canst for thyself. And therefore the way alway to think well and worthily of God, is to be thoroughly persuaded that whatever he does with thee and thy affairs, is wise and good. For such is the love of God towards us, that there is not any one trial, under which human nature labours, not any one infirmity, to which it is subject, not any event that befalls any one of us; but he in his infinite goodness, and so far as we do not obstruct his gracious intentions of kindness, disposes it to our advantage. It

may be, thou hast not the grace of an eminent and steady virtue; but, while the storms of temptation shake thee, that inconvenience is compensated, by thy humility taking deeper root. And humility with an allay of frailties and failings, is more acceptable to Almighty God, than virtuous actions puffed up with vain-glory, and spiritual pride. When therefore thou observest any dispensation of Providence, do not presume to think that some other method, or event, would have been better; but fear his majesty, reverence his wisdom, and make thy prayers to him, with a mind entirely resigned to his will. Implore his protection and assistance, in such measures of grace, as he knows fittest for thee; that if there be any remains of evil in thee, his mercy would take them clear away; that, whatever good inclinations or beginnings he sees in thee, he would promote and bring them to due perfection; and, in a word, that he would at last bring thee to himself, by such a way as he shall find most agreeable to his own wise purposes. For so thou do but attain the end, about the means thou needest not be very solicitous. That is the proper object of thy desires; but when thou extendest thy desires to these too, they then exceed their just bounds, and if too anxious, take upon them to prescribe to Providence, in things which God hath reserved to his own free disposal.

And now, my soul, I must ask thee again and again, What shall we render to the Lord our God, for the innumerable benefits he hath done unto us? Of which, that thou mayest take another prospect, consider, that he does not only give us cause to thank him for the same good things which he bestows upon others, but makes the very evils that

befall us, evidences of his exceeding great love, that we in like manner might be moved to love him exceedingly, whether we reflect upon the good we enjoy, or the evil we endure. Thou, Lord, hast had compassion on my ignorance and blindness; and by my misery magnified thy mercy, in bringing me to the knowledge of thee and thy truth: and granted me a clearer understanding in the dark and difficult passages of thy revealed will, than many others have arrived at. Some of my equals in years and natural abilities, thou sufferest still to continue in ignorance and error, but my eyes hast thou enlightened with thy grace, and thereby made me wiser than the aged. Thou hast endued me with strong faculties, a large capacity, a quick apprehension, a faithful memory. Thou givest success to my undertakings, improvement by my studies, comfort in my adversity, protection in my prosperity; which way soever I go, thy grace prevents and follows me; and many times, when I have given myself for lost, thou hast by some sudden and surprising turn of mercy delivered me from my calamities and my fears. When I went wrong, thou hast brought me back, and guided me in the right way; when I offended, thou hast reproved and chastened me; when I was in heaviness, thou hast supported my spirits; when I fell, thou hast set me up again; when I stood, thou upheldest me: thou didst enable me to know thee more truly, to believe in thee more steadfastly, to love thee more vehemently, to follow thee more eagerly. And now, O Lord my God, the joy of my life, the light of my eyes, what requital shall I make thee for all thy inestimable mercies? Thou commandest me to love thee, but how can I ever

love thee enough? Nay, who am I indeed that thou shouldst desire or accept of my love? for thou, Lord, art my strength and my castle, my deliverer and my refuge, my helper and protector, the horn of my salvation, my support, my all; and, in a word, for that comprehends the whole of what I can say or think, thou, O Lord, art my GoD; and whatever I have, or can do, or am, is of thee, and in thee, and by thee.