Imágenes de páginas

pomSge, or what nbt. All things are at you* service, free-cost: I oeg you will live until yoU Quit rhy house.

Luther. You comfort me in death, you hav| a good heart, and nothing like striking the iron While it is hot. For sear 1 should recover, when you might alter your charitable disposition, we frill, theresore, pass receipts j bring pen, ink, and paper, and you bear my suture expences, Until I recover my native land: you shall also insure me, alive or dead, into good Old England. On these conditions I am willing to live, ffl can keep my breath, otherwise 1 am resolved to die.

Host. Can it be credited that the primate of England has plotted to live at the expence of a poor publican, who can scarce keep soul and body together, and bring up a numerous family,

Luther. But then, and suppose, or the like of that, do ye mongey, or setting the case as thus, Nincompoaf)? When you made your proposal I esteemed your docility and was unwilling, as your spiritual father, that such noble sentiments should unspced. I was and did resolve, theresore, do you mind me, or the like of that, not to be a whit behind you. but^ the saying is, arrive at the gOal besore ye,Gafser# Do you consider it is no small portion in our divinity to prompt the willing heart to every good action; but the niggard is lest in his sin $ jo that, supposing the case, or the like of that, as the faying is, I had not unfolded to you this ry of my fatherly watchfulness to increase N % your your mint; you would have lost much and t more; but, as the matter stands, supposing the: case, or the like of that, do ye mongey, that you call in a notary, to note and settle our contract, and the like of that, as I was saying; otherwise I stand in jeopardy, peri!, dangers and hazard of losing my breath. Be quick, I advise you, I seel myself convulsed, no time is to be lost, don't you notice the enormous size and growth of my old friend for greatness, largeness, bigness, pot-belliedness, and agony, as a woman in travel. I shall die, niggard, miser, little mind, unless you relieve me: run for the lawyer.


Host. What a navel! I declare it is npt un~ like the cat-s head you eat in your Olio j you undoubtedly swallowed the cat-s head, which appears and holds you in this convulsive state, they are venomous and savage when confined and pent up; in like sort, the crow and also six rats, all which you have cooped up in your dirty sack. I will grant all your'desires; pray give me countenance to apply to your society of philosophers of this enlightened age. Mayhap, they being enlightened, may deliver you from these savages,—runs. 'Luther. He is gone; he is honest and free from guile; my plot has taken place. I have now been with him three months, enjoyed all things to my wiso, and most abounding, without giving him one halfpenny. This poor ninny-hammer offers to give up all, besides .which, he shall likewise bear all my expencdt 'while I chuse to remain, and to England. Be

sides this, I suspect the sellow has got. money, I am resolved to strip him, as a poulterer doe? a bird-s breech, I will not only fleece, but fkiri the nincompoop ; I have no charity for a ninny^ hammer, half-witted rascallion. I shall return, very difserently to the generality of Englishmen; for their improvement it mail be inserted in all our newspapers on my arrival. The great Metropolitan, Primate of all England, W^es, and Berwick upon Tweed, to his dutisul and lawn lambs all health and spiritual melody, be it known, that your lord and father is sase arrived from his travels, with open arms to communicate to you the plenitude of spiritual benediction. Be it known I have- fought a good fight, as father Abraham returning from his conquest of the four kings, loaded with spoils, so I am like sort. with this double difference in my scale. First difference. He was prince, but no priest; but I am, in spirituals, prince and priest. Second difference. He kept for himself nothing; but I get all and keep all. He vanquished four, myself four: Host one, Moses two, Galvin three, my son four; and let me tell you, these four, well scraped with my three teats, and what 1 have scratched from one and another, since my childhood, with what I fliall be upon the watch to catch at, wherever it is to be picked ortrome at, in the course of seventy years outstanding, will be capable, with the donation of my pretty lambs, make, as the saying is, a Greasy Bishop. At the end of that period 1 shall lack five years of old Par, and fifteen of, I think, one old Gibson, he would

N 3 be more to my purpose, living high, and an «&*. traordinary of ten years—1.60.. - ^ . ••

•; , Club of enlightened Philosophers.

Host. O enlightened, may it please your worships, to repair and set free an enlightened father in God, Lord Archbishop of Canterbury, who, by large strides of refinement in our enlightened prosessions, have arrived to the summit of our new philosophy, rolling and tumbling, if he was not borne down with unwieldiness, through an enormous quantity of fat, that wallops and hangs about him like a farmer-s swine, ready to receive the knise for being dressed into bacon. O the prodigy!

Club. What is it you would wish to improve yourself and bishop, touching the faculties ?.

Host. To set us free j me from the dread I am frightened with, and him a farm of different animals and different titles, received for strength and pleasure; but not having the necessary evacuations, he is pent up, stuffed and gorged, so that with his finger he paddles with the glut filled up to his throat, his belly resembles a mountain, and the various hillocks., with an ugly navel, which terrifies me, with many other phenomenons, threatening immediate dissolution to the j.ian, and injury to my bouse, with inevitable ruin to myself and faJtiily, ,

Club. The enlightened medicine is to remove -him hap-hazard at a venture, your countenance ... - '.. - - t .VU! . setjps seems to indicate the harbinger of loop-hole for letting forth his wind. ..v t)

Host. As other physicians, you misconceive the cause. It proceeds from an incurring, incloistered number of various voracious animals, too tedious, nO time permitting to be dweltl upon.

Club. How stands his Eminence's purse? our samily being materialists pay great desserence to the philosopher-s stone, being the chief principle and sundamental ground of our new philosophy.

Host. l am in raptures to hear that the new philosophy of this enlightened age and hemisphere takes its source and is a refinement on Calvinism.

Club. Calvinism consists in chitter chatter*
Our new lights in material matter;
Like antipodes, they resist each other,
The son the father, and the sifter brother*.

Host. You are really the fool who cries no God, an old sect called Sadducees, among the Jews, or materialist among the christians, which. defeats the term of enlightened age or new philosophy, being nothing but an old condemned heresy, hatesul to God, vain-glorying in every debauchery and base action. You may debauch a fool with your vagabond lives, but never a man of honour, who will weep at the pitiful littleness of your conceptions and lust, which induces you, like a man drowning, catching at a shadow, to assist him in his wish. You N 4 have

« AnteriorContinuar »