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WHAT YOU WILL.
ORSINO, Duke of Illyria.
FABIAN, Servants to Olivia.
OLIVIA, a rich Countess.
Maria, Olivia's woman.
Lords, Priests, Sailors, Officers, Musicians, Sir Toby Belch, Uncle of Olivia.
and other Attendants. Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.
Scene, a City in Illyria; and the Sea-coast MALVOLIO, Steward to Olivia.
But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk,
And water once a day her chamber round SCENE I.-An Apartment in the Duke's With eye-offending brine: all this, to season Palace.
A brother's dead love, which she would keep Enter DUKE, CURIO, LORDS; Musicians
And lasting, in her sad remembrance. [fresh, attending.
Duke. O, she, that hath a heart of that fine
frame, Duke. If music be the food of love, play on, To pay this debt of love but to a brother, Give me excess of it; that, surfeiting, How will she love, when the rich golden shaft, The appetite may sicken, and so die.
Hath kill'd the flock of all affections else That strain again ;-it had a dying fall : That live in her! when liver, brain, and heart, 0, it came o'er my ear like the sweet south, These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and That breathes upon a bank of violets,
fill'd, Stealing, and giving odour.—Enough; no (Her sweet perfections,) with one self king !more;
Away before me to sweet beds of flowers; "Tis not so sweet now, as it was before.
Love-thoughts lie rich, when canopied with o spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou !
(Exeunt. That notwithstanding thy capacity Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,
SCENE II.-The Sea Coast.
Enter VIOLA, CAPTAIN, and Sailors.
Vio. What country, friends, is this? That it alone is high-fantastical.
Cap. Illyria, lady. Cur. Will you go hunt, my lord ?
Vio. And what should I do in Illyria ? Duke. What, Curio ?
My brother he is in Elysium. Cur. The bart.
Perchance, he is not drown'd :-What think Duke. Why, so I do, the noblest that I have:
you, sailors ? 0, when mine eyes did see Olivia first,
Cap. It is perchance, that you yourself were Methought, she purg'd the air of pestilence;
saved. That instant was I turn’d into a hart;
Vio. O my poor brother! and so, perchance, And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, E'er since pursue me.-How
now ? what news Cap. True, madam: and, to comfort you will from her?
Assure yourself, after our ship did split,
When you, and that poor number saved with Val. So please my lord, I might not be ad
Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brother, But from her handmaid do return this answer: Most provident in peril, bind himself The element itself,
till seven years heat, (Courage and hope both teaching him Shall not behold her face at ample view;
To a strong mast, that lived upon the sea , + Fantastical to the height.
Where. like Arion on the dolphin's back.
may he be.
I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves, you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and So long as I could see.
of a foolish knight, that you brought in one Vio. For saying so, there's gold:
night here, to be her wooer. Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope, Sir To. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek? Whereto thy speech serves for authority,
Mar. Ay, he. The like of him. Know'st thou this country? Sir To. He's as talle a man as any's in Illyria. Cap. Ay, Madam, well; for I was bred and Mar. What's that to the purpose ? born,
Sir To. Why, he has three thousand ducats Not three hours' travel from this very place. a year. Vio. Who governs here?
Mar. Aye, but he'll have but a year in all Cap. A noble duke, in nature,
these ducats; he's a very fool, and a prodigal. As in his name.
Sir To. Fye, that you'll say so! he plays o' Vio. What is his name?
the viol-de-gambo, and speaks three or four Cap. Orsino.
languages word for word without book, and Vio. Orsino! I have heard my father name hath all the good gifts of nature. He was a bachelor then.
[him: Mar. He hath, indeed,-almost natural : for, Cap. And so is now,
besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; Or was so very late : for but a month
and, but that he hath the gift of a coward to Ago I went from hence; and then 'twas fresh allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought In murmur;(as, you know, what great ones do, among the prudent, he would quickly have the The less vill prattle of,) that he did seek gift of a grave, The love of fair Olivia.
Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels, Vio. What's she?
and substractors, that say so of him. Who are Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a they? count
Mar. They that add moreover, he's drunk That died some twelvemonth since; then leav- nightly in your company. In the protection of bis son, her brother,
Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece ; Who shortly also died: for whose dear love, I'll drink to her, as long as there is a passage
she hath abjur'd the company in my throat, and drink in Illyria: He's a And sight of men.
coward and a coystril,t that will not drink to Vio. O, that I served that lady:
my niece, till his brains turn o' the toe like a And might not be delivered to the world, parish-top. What, wench? Castiliano vulgo; Till I had made mine own occasion mellow, for here comes Sir Andrew Ague-face. What my estate is. Cap. I'hat were hard to compass;
Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Because she will admit no kind of suit,
Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now,
Sir Toby No, not the duke's.
Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew.
Sir To. Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.
Sir And. What's that? With this thy fair and outward character. Sir To. My niece's chamber-maid. I pray thee, and I'll pay thee bounteously, Sir And. Good mistress Accost, I desire bet. Conceal me what I am; and be my aid ter acquaintance. For such disguise as, haply, shall become Mar. My name is Mary, Sir. The form of my intent. l'il'serve this duke; Sir And. Good mistress Mary Accost,Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him, Sir To. You mistake, knight: accost, is, front It may be worth thy pains ; for I can sing, her, board her, woo hér, assail her. And speak to him in many sorts of music, Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake That will allow me very worth his service. her in this company. Is that the meaning of What else may hap', to time I will commit; accost? Only shape thou thy silence to my wit.
Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen. Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll Sir To. An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, be:
(see! | 'would you might'st never draw sword again. When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not
Sir And. An you part so, mistress, I would Vio. I'thank thee : Lead me on. [Exeunt. I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, SCENE 111.-A Room in OLIVIA's House.
do you think you have fools in hand ?
Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand.
Sir And. Marry, but you shall have; and Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to here's my hand. take the death of her brother thus? I am sure, Mar. Now, Sir, thought is free: I pray you, care's an enemy to life.
bring your hand to the buttery-bar, and let it Mar. By troth, Sir Toby, you must come in drink. earlier o'nights ; your cousin, my lady, takes Sir And. Wherefore sweet heart? what's great exceptions to your ill hours.
your metaphor ? Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted. Mar. It's dry, Sir.
Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself Sir And. Why, I think so; I am not such aa within the modest limits of order.
ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But what's Sir To. Confine? I'll confine myself no finer your jest ? than I am: these clothes are good enough to Mar. A dry jest, Sir. drink in, and so be these boots too, an they Sir And. Are you full of them? be not, let them hang themselves in their own Mar. Ay, Sir; I have them at my fingers' straps.
ends: marry, now I let go your hand, I am Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo barren.
(Erit MARIA Approve
+ Keystril, a bastard Dovt.
Sir To. O kright, thou lack’st a cup of ca- | wards you, Cesario, you are like to be much nary: When did I see thee so put down?
; he hath known you but three days, Sir And. Never in your life, I think; unless and already you are no stranger. you see canary put me down : Methinks, some- Vio. You either fear his humour, or my times I have no more wit than a Christian, or negligence, that you call in question the conan ordinary man has : but I am a great eater tinuance of his love: Is he inconstant, Sir, in of beef, and, I believe, that does harm to my his favours ? wit.
Val. No, believe me. Sir To. No question.
Enter Duke, Curio, and Attendants. Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.
Vio. I thank you. Here comes the count. Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear knight?
Duke. Who saw Cesario, ho? Sir And. What is pourquoy? do or not do? I
Vio. On your attendance, my lord; here. would I had bestowed that time in the tongues,
Duke. Stand you awhile aloof.-Cesario, that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-bait- Thou know'st no less but all; I have unclasp'd ing: 0, had I but followed the arts !
To thee the book even of my secret soul : Sir To. Then hadst thou had an excellent Therefore, good youth, address thy gait* unto bead of hair.
her; Sir And. Why, would that have mended my Be not denied access, stand at her doors, hair?
And tell them, there thy fixed foot shall grow, Sir To. Past question ; for thou seest, it will Till thou have audience. pot curl by nature.
Vio. Sure, my noble lord, Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, If she be so 'abandon’d to her sorrow does't not?
As it is spoke, she never will admit me. Sir To. Excellent; it hang's like flax on a
Duke. "Be clamorous, and leap all civil distaff; and I hope to see å housewife take bounds, thee between her legs, and spin it off.
Rather than make unprofited return. Sir And. 'Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir
Vio. Say, I do speak with her, my lord; Toby: your niece will not be seen ; or, if she
What then? be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the count
Duke. O, then unfold the passion of my love, himself, here hard by, wooes her.
Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith: Sir To. She'll none o' the count; she'll not It shall become thee well to act my woes; match above her degree, neither in estate, She will attend it better in thy youth, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear it! Than in a nuncio of more grave aspect. Tat, there's life in't, man.
Vio. I think not so, my lord. Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a
Duke. Dear lad, believe it; fellow o' the strangest mind i' the world; i For they shall yet belie thy happy years delight in masques and revels sometimes alto- That say, thou art a man: Diana's lip gether.
Is not more smooth, and rubious; thy small Sir To. Art thou good at these kick-shaws,
Is as the maiden's organ, shrill, and sound, Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever And all is semblative a woman's part. he be, under the degree of iny betters; and yet I know, thy constellation is right apt I will not compare with an old man.
For this affair:-Some four, or five, attend him; Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, All, if you will; for I myself am best, knight?
When least in company :-Prosper well in this, Sir And. 'Faith, I can cut a caper.
And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord, Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to't.
To call his fortunes thine. Sir And. And, I think, I have the back-trick, To woo your lady: yet, [Aside.) a barfult strise!
Vio. I'll do my best, simply as strong as any man in Illyria.
Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? Whoe'er I woo, myselt would be his wife. wherefore have these gifts a curtain before
[Exeunt. them ? are they like to take dust, like mistress SCENE V.A Room in OLIVIA's House, Mall's picture? why dost thou not go to church
Enter MARIA, and Clown. in a galliard, and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig; I would not so
Mar. Nay, either tell me where thou hast much as make water, but in a sink-a-pace.* been, or I will not open my lips, so wide as What dost thou mean? is it a world to hide bristle may enter, in way of thy excuse: m: virtues in? I did think, by the excellent con- lady will hang thee for thy absence. stitution of thy leg, it was formed under the
Clo. Let her hang me: he, that is well hangeu star of a galliard.
in this world, needs to fear no colours. Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indiffe
Mar. Make that good. rent well in a flame-coloured stock. Shall we
Clo. He shall see none to fear. set about some revels ?
Mur. A good lentent answer: I can tell thee Sir To. What shall we do else? were we not where that saying was born, of, I fear no coborn under Taurus ?
lours. Sir And. Taurus ? that's sides and heart.
Clo. Where, good mistress Mary? Sir To. No, Sir; it is legs and thighs. Let
Mar. In the wars; and that may you be bold the see thee caper : ha! higher: ha, ha!-ex- to say in your foolery. cellent!
Cló. Well, God give them wisdom, that have
it; and those that are fools, let them use their SCENE IV.-A Room in the Duke's Palace. talents.
Mar. Yet you will be hanged, for being so Enter VALENTINE, und Viola in man's attire.
long absent: or, to be turned away; is not that Vol. If the duke continue these favours to- as good as a hanging to you?
Go thy way. • Cinque pace, the name of a dance. Stoding. + Full of impediments.
1 Short and spare.
Clo. Many a good hanging prevents a bad more brain than a stone. Look you now, he's marriage; and, for turning away, let summer out of his guard already ; unless you laugh and bear it out.
minister occasion to him, he is gagged, I proMur. You are resulute then ?
test, I take these wise men, that crow so at Clo. Not so neither; but I am resolved on these set kind of fools, no better than the fools' two points.
zanies.* Nar, That, if one break,* the other will hold; Oli. (), you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, or, if both break, your gaskins fall.
and taste with a distempered appetite. To be Clo. Apt, in good faith; very apt! Well, go generous, guiltless, and of free disposition, is thy way; if Sir Toby, would leave drinking, to take those things for bird-bolts, that you thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any deem cannon-bullets : There is no slander in in Illyria.
an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail ; Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o' that; nor no railing in a known discreet man, though here comes my lady: make your excuse wisely, he do nothing but reprove. you were best.
[Erit. Clo. Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, i
for thou speakest well of fools ! Enter Olivia, und MalvoliO.
Re-enter Maria. Clo. Wit, and't be thy will, put ine into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, Mar. Madam, there is at the gate a young do very oft prove fools; and I, that am sure I gentleman, much desires to speak with you. lack thee, may pass for a wise man : For what Oli. From the count Orsini, is it? says Quinapalus? Better a witty fool, than a Mar. I know not, madam ; 'tis a fair young foolish wit. -God bless thee, lady!
man, and well attended. Oli. Take the fool away.
Oli. Who of my people hold him in delay ? Clo. Do you not hear, fellows ? Take away Mar. Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman. the lady.
Oli, Fetch him off, I pray you; he speaks Oli. Go to, you're a dry fool ; I'll no more of nothing but madman: Fye on himi! (Exit you : besides, you grow dishonest.
MARIA.) Go you, Malvolio; if it be a suit from Clo. Two faults, madonna,t that drink and the count, I am sick, or not at home; what you good counsel will amend: for give the dry fool will, to dismiss it.' (Exit MALVOLIO.] Now drink, then is the fool not dry ; bid the dishon- you see, Sir, how your fooling grows old, and est man mend himself; if he mend, he is no people dislike it. longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher Clo. Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if mend him : Anything, that's 'mended, is but thy eldest son should be a fool : whose skull patched : virtue, that transgresses, is but pat-Jove cram with brains, for here he comes, one ched with sin; and sin, that amends, is but of thy kin, has a most weak piu mater, patched with virtue : If that this simple syllo
Enter Sir TOBY BELCH. gism will serve, so; if it will not, What remdy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity,
Oli. By mine honour, half drunk.-What is 80 beauty's a flower :-the lady bade take away he at the gate, cousin ? the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.
Sir To. A gentleman. Oli. Sir, I bade them take away you.
Oli. A gentleman ? What gentleman ? Clo. Misprision in the highest degree!-Lady,
Sir To. "Tis a gentleman here-A plague o Cucullus non facit monachum ; that's as much as these pickle-herrings !-How now, sot? to say, I wear not motely in my brain. Good
Clo. Good Sir Toby,madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool.
Oli. Cousin, cousin, how have you come so Oli. Can you do it?
early by this lethargy? Clo. Dexterously, good madonna.
Sir To. Lechery! I defy lechery: There's one Oli. Make your proof.
at the gate. Clo. I must catechize you for it, madonna; Oli. Ay, marry; what is he? Good my mouse of virtue, answer me.
Sir To. Let him be the devil, an he will, I Oli. Well, Sir, for want of other idleness, care not: give me faith, say I. Well, it's all I'll 'bide your proof.
(Exit. Clo. Good madonna, why mourn'st thou ?
Oli, What's a drunken man like, fool ? Oli. Good fool, for niy brother's death.
Clo. Like a drown'd man, a tool, and a mad. Clo. I think, his soul is in hell, madonna.
man: one draught above heat makes him a Oli. I know his soul is in heaven, fool. tool; the second mads him; and a third drowns Clo. The more fool you, madonna, to mourn
him. for your brother's soul being in heaven.- Take
Oli. Go thou and seek the coroner, and let away the fool, gentlemen.
bim sit o' my coz; for he's in the third degree Oli. What think you of this fool, Malvolio ? Of drink, he's drown'd: go look after bim. doth he not mend ?
Clo. He is but mad yet, madonna ; and the Mal. Yes; and shall do, till the pangs of fool shall look to the madinan. [Exit Clows. death shake him : Infirmity, that decays the
Re-enter Malvolio, wise, doth ever make the better fool. Clo. God send you, Sir, a speedy infirmity,
Mul. Madam, yond young fellow swears he for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will speak with you. I told him you were sick will be sworn, that I am no fox ; but he will he takes on him to understand so much, and not pass his word for two-pence that you are therefore comes to speak with you: I told him no fool.
you were asleep; he seems to have a fore-knowOli. How say you to that, Malvolio?
ledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak Mal. 1 marvel your ladyship takes delight in with you. What is to be said to him, lady! such a barren rascal; I saw him put down the he's tortified against any denial. other day with an ordinary fool, that has no
Oli. Tell him, he shall not speak with me. Points were hooks which fastened the hose or breeches.
Fools' baubles. + Short arrows. Lying. # Italian mistress, dame
The cover of the brain.
Ma. He has been told so; and he says, he'll Vio, I am a messenger. stanu at your door like a sheriff's post, and Oli, Sure, you have some hideous matter to be the supporter of a bench, but he'll speak deliver, when the courtesy of it is so fearful. with you.
Speak your office. Oli. What kind of man is he?
Vio. It alone concerns your ear. I bring no Val. Why, of man kind,
overture of war, no taxation of homage; I hold Oli. What manner of man?
the olive in my hand : my words are as full of Mal. Of very ill manner; he'll speak with peace as matter. you, will you, or no.
Oli. Yet you began rudely, What are you? Oli. Or what personage, and years, is he?
what would you? Mal. Not yet old enough for a man, nor Vio. The rudeness, that hath appear'd in me, young enough for a boy; as a squash is before have I learn’d from my entertainment. What 'tis a pease-cod, or a codling when 'tis almost | I am, and what I would, are as secret as an apple: 'tis with him e'en standing water, maidenhead: to your ears, divinity; to any between boy and man. He is very well-favour other's, profanation. ed, and he speaks very shrewishly; one would Oli. Give us the place alone: we will hear think, his mother's milk were scarce out of him. this divinity. (Exit MARIA.] Now, Sir, what Oli. Let him approach : Call in my gentle is your text?
Vio. Most sweet lady, Mal. Gentlewoman, my lady calls. [Exit. Oli. A comfortable doctrine, and much may
be said of it. Where lies your text? Re-enter Maria.
Vio. In Orsino's bosom. Oli. Give me my veil : come, throw it o'er Oli. In his bosom? In what chapter of his my face;
bosom? We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy,
Vio. To answer by the method, in the first of
his heart. Enter VIOLA.
Oli. O, I have read it; it is heresy. Have Vio. The honourable lady of the house, which you no more to say ? is she?
Vio. Good madam, let me see your face. Oli. Speak to me, I shall answer for her. Oli. Have you any commission from your Your will ?
lord to negociate with my face? you are now Vio. Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatch- out of your text: but we will draw the curtain, able beauty,- I pray you, tell me, if this be the and show you the picture. Look you, Sir, such lady of the house, for I never saw her: I would a one as I was this present:* Is't not well done! be loath to cast away my speech; for, besides
(Unveiling that it is excellently well penn's, I have taken Vio. Excellently done, if God did all. great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me Oli. 'Tis in grain, Sir; 'twill endure wind sustain no scorn ; I am very comptible, * even and weather. to the least sinister usage.
Vio. 'Tis beauty truly blent,t whose red and Oli. Whence came you, Sir?
white Vio. I can say little more than I have studi- Nature's own sweet and cunning hand laid on: ed, and that question's out of my part. Good Lady, you are the cruel'st she alive, gentle one, give me modest assurance, if you If you will lead these graces to the grave, be the lady of the house, that I may proceed in And leave the world no copy. my speech.
Oli. 0, Sir, I will not be so hard-hearted; I Oli. Are you a comedian ?
will give out divers schedules of my beauty: Vio. No, my profound heart : and yet, by It shall be inventoriesl; and every particle, and the very fangs of malice, I swear, I am not utensil, labelled to iniy vill : as, item, two lips wat I play. Are you the lady of the house? indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to Oli. If I do not usurp myself, I am. them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth.
Vio. Most certain, if you are she, you do Were you sent hither to 'praise me? usurp yourself; for what is yours to bestow, is Vio. I see you what you are: you are too. not yours to reserve. But this is from my com
proud; mission: I will on with my speech in your But, if you were the devil, you are fair. praise, and then show you the heart of my My lord and master loves you ; 0, such love message.
Could be hut recompens'd, though you were Oli. Come to what is important in't: I for- The nonpareil of beauty!
(crown's give you the praise.
Oli. How does he love me? 10. Alas, I took great pains to study it, and Vio. With adorations, with fertile tears, 'tis m'etical.
With groans that thunder love, with sighs of Ols. It is the more likely to be feigned ; I
fire. pray you, keep it in. I heard, you were saucy Oli. Your lord does know my mind, I cannot at my gates; and allowed your approach, ra
love him : ther to wonder at you than to hear you. If Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble, you be not mad, be gone ; if you have reason, of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth; be brief: ’tis not that time of moon with me, In voices well divulg’d, free, learn'd, and va. to make one in so skipping a dialogue.
liant, Mar, Will you hoist sail, Sir ? here lies your And, in dimension, and the shape of nature, way.
A gracious person : but yet I cannot love him. Vio. No, good swabber: I am to hull here He might have took his answer long ago. a little longer.-Some mollification for your Vio. If I did love you in my master's tame, giant,+ sweet lady.
With such a suffering, such a deadly life, Oli. Tell me your mind.
In your denial I would find no sense,
I would not understand it. Accountable. + It appears from several parts of this play that the ori- * Presents.
+ Blended, mixed together ginal actress of Maria was very short.
* Well spoken of by the world