And kindly invent him more Christian-like shapes So, what's to be done?-there's the MINISTERS, bless 'em! As he made the puppets, why shouldn't he dress 'em? "An excellent thought!-call the tailors-be nimble— "Let CUM bring his spy-glass, and H-RTF-RD her thimble; "While Y-RM-TH shall give us, in spite of all quizzers, "The last Paris cut with his true Gallic scissars." So saying, he calls C-STL-R-GH, and the rest up, In long tailors' measures (the P-E crying" Well done!") And first puts in hand my Lord Chancellor ELD-n. * OCCASIONAL ADDRESS For the Opening of the New Theatre of St. St-ph-n, intended to have been spoken by the Proprietor, in full Costume, on the 24th of November. This day a New House, for your edification, As for actors, we've got the old Company yet, VOL. y. II Here offers you still the full use of his breath, Your devoted and long-winded proser till death! You remember, last season, when things went pervers 1 on, We had to engage (as a block to rehearse on) One Mr. V-NS-TT-RT, a good sort of person, Who's also employ’d for this season to play In “ Raising the Wind,” and “ the Devil to Pay.” We expect toomat least we've been plotting and plan ningTo get that great actor from Liverpool, C-NN-NG ; And, as at the Circus there's nothing attracts Like a good single combat brought in 'twixt the acts. If the Manager should, with the help of Sir P-PH-M, ) Get up new diversions, and C-NN-NG should stop ’em. Who knows but we'll have to announce in the papers - Grand fight-second time with additional capers. Be your taste for the ludicrous, humdrum, or sad, There is plenty of each in this House to be had ; Where our Manager ruleth, there weeping will be, For a dead hand at tragedy always was he; And there never was dealer in dagger and cup, Who so smilingly got all his tragedies up. His powers poor Ireland will never forget, And the widows of Walcheren weep o'er them yet. So much for the actors.-For secret machinery, In taking my leave, now I've only to say A few Seats in the House, not as yet sold away, THE SALE OF THE TOOLS. Instrumenta regni.-TACITUS. HERE'S a choice set of Tools for you, Gemmen and Ladies, They'll fit you quite handy, whatever your trade is (Except it be Cabinet-making.—I doubt In that delicate service they're rather worn out; Though their owner-bright youth !—if he'd had his own will, Would have bungled away with them joyously still). You can see they've been pretty well hack'd—and, alack! What tool is there job after job will not hack? Their edge is but dullish, it must be confess'd, And their temper, like ELL-NB'R-GH's, none of the best ; But you'll find them good hard-working Tools, upon trying Were't but for their brass, they are well worth the buying; They're famous for making blinds, sliders, and screens, And they're, some of them, excellent turning machines! The first Tool I'll put up (they call it a Chancellor) Who bids? Gentle buyer! 'twill turn as thou shapest— "Twill make a good thumb-screw to torture a Papist; Or else a cramp-iron, to stick in the wall Of some church that old women are fearful will fall; Sir. |