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" I

compared with fuch a finful wretch 6 as I am. They never difhonored the God that made them, as I ' have done. They never flighted the Saviour, nor grieved the Holy Spirit of God, as I have done. "They never committed the fins I 'have. O how mean and vile I ' am! I am meaner and viler 'than the meanest and most contemptible worm. How wonder

to God, and I feemed to have no ⚫ choice of my own, but wholly refigned to God; and my will fwallowed up in his will. Chrift appeared both able and willing to fave me, as unworthy as I was. now experienced fuch joy as I never did before. I attempted to • describe it to a friend in bed with me, but it was joy unfpeakably 'great, joy unutterable. My whole foul feemed to be swallowed up inful and aftonishing that God 'viewing God and Christ, without 'fhould fuffer fuch an unworthy, ' reflecting I had, or ever should ' have any interest in either of them. I rejoiced in God and rejoiced in • Christ, on account of the glorious ⚫ beauty and excellencies, which Ihell long ago, and yet I am still a

faw in them. From that moment, I have felt a fweet calmness and • ferenity of mind. I feem to have • no will of my own, but my will • bowed to the will of God, in life ❝ and death, for time and for eternity. I feel as if I could cheerfully leave myfelf, and all I have, ' with God, for him to do with me and them, as he thinks beft; being fully affured he will do right. If I am finally faved, it will be of his fovereign mercy and grace, ❝ through the atonement of Chrift; ' and if I am finally loft, God will be juft and good, and the faulty 'caufe of my perdition lie at my ' own door. This Lord's day night, and the ravishing views I then had, I fhall never forget; and my daily prayer is that I may have times of refreshing from the 'prefence of the Lord; and that I 'may be more conformed to God, in the temper of my mind, and have more of the Spirit of Chrift." Another faid, "As I was walk'ing to the house of God the upon fabbath, I faw a number of little worms, fwimming about in a small • brook ; I stopped and viewed them, and faid to myself, how in⚫nocent andhappy are thefe worms

|

ill-deferving creature as I am to ' live in his world, to tread upon his earth, or breathe his air. I 'deferved to have been shut up in

prifoner of hope: Oh! the goodnefs and long-fuffering of God, and the ingratitude and ' wickedness of hardened finners!"

I fhall now fubjoin a few extracts from fome letters, fent to particular friends. They were not written with a view of being seen by any but the perfons to whom they were addressed. One writes thus, "Dear Friend, Do let me 'know how you do, and what

you are doing, I am more con'cerned for my friends now than ever; am more fond of their company and conversation; and yet at times, love retirement, and enjoy myfelf very well ' alone. How thankful fhould 'we be, that we are made rational creatures, capable of enjoying focial happiness? Do we confid

alas, there is no caufe of com
plaînt, but the highest reason for
gratitude and praife. Nature is
eloquent in praifing the creator.

“But man alone intent to stray,
"Ever turns from wifdom's way.
Until you fee me, do think of
me or think of fomething better.

'ftreams murmuring over the peb-fhips, I often fay in my hearti 'bles, the lambs skipping in the 'meadows, and the birds on the 'branches ftraining their little throats in melodious fongs; all fpeak, in different ways, their 'maker's praise. Should not we, 'who are endowed with reason, 'join in praising the creator; even 'the mute creation would find a ' voice, and upbraid our filence. 'Let us in our youth attend to 'the one thing needful. Now is 'the best time to lay in ftore a good 'foundation against the time to " come. It is written, remember now thy creator in the days of 'thy youth. And now is the accepted time. If you ask, what

6

Adieu."

Another writes thus. "Dear friend, I now fit down to tell you what hath taken place with me 'this prefent week. On Wednefday evening, I was thoughtful ' and very serious, and after attentively listening to fome religious converfation between two friends,

'this world is, and what the pleaf-Iretired to reft, with my mind deep ures of it are? I anfwer, vani-ly impreffed, and lay fometime ty of vanities, all is vanity.

There is no real and fubftantial happiness in the enjoyment any thing this world affords. your ideas of this world are the 'fame with mine, then

in bed, wetting my pillow with 'tears. This was not the first time, my mind hath been fix-: Ifed on, and my thoughts swallow'ed up with things of another 'world; and I have fometimes ' entertained a hope, I experien'ced the power of godliness in my 'childhood. But now on a fud'den, my fins were fet in order 'before me and feemed to ftare me

"Whilft the bufy croud,
“The vain, the wealthy & the proud,
"In folly's maze advance,
"Tho' fingularity and pride,
"Be call'd our lot,
"We'll ftep afide,
"Nor join the giddy dance."

in the face; and my heart was fo pricked I could not lie ftill. The fame writes again, "I re'I ufed to think, I had a defire to 'tire from company, to converfe embrace Chrift, and partake of ⚫ alone with one I love; for fo I gofpel bleffings. But I now ex'call writing to a friend. What'perienced views and feelings, 'privileges have we which thou- 'fuch as I never did before; and 'fands are denied? We have kind was afraid to close my eyes in parents to inftruct us, are taught fleep; for I thought nothing to write, and thus to converse kept me from the pit of endless 'with abfent friends. Let us im- 'perdition, but the flender and *prove our advantages and culti- 'brittle thread of life. What shall vate our minds in early life. Do

I do? was now the language of ing this will render us dutiful 6 my heart. If the righteous are 'children and faithful friends; fcarcely faved, where fhall the render the path through life pleaf- ungodly and the finner appear! 'ing, and a death-bed eafy. If I attempted to pray, these 'When I hear people complaining 'words were in my mind, the 'of their misfortunes and hard- prayer of the wicked is abomina

VOL. II. No. 2.

I

⚫tion to the Lord. I then faid to
myfelf, what can I, or what fhall
I do? I am wretched, and
'wretched I muft be. I deferve
"nothing but the frowns and wrath
of the Almighty. Better would
it have been for me, if I had not
'been born.
At this time, my
'views, exercifes and feelings
'were fuch as I cannot express;
'they were fuch as I never had be-
fore. But at this moment, my
heart breathed out the prayer
of
the publican, who thought him-
⚫ felf unworthy to lift up fo much
as his eyes to heaven; God be
• merciful to me a finner. Imme-

diately upon this, I appeared to myself, to be loft, for a fhort space; I believe it was not more 'than a minute or two, but I do not know how long it was, nor what paffed, during a time, for "whether I was in the body or out 'I cannot tell. But as foon as I

came to myself, I did from my heart, give up my myfelf, both foul and body, to him who gave 'me being.* After I had thus given myself up to God, being much fatigued, and having had <but

and mind

'facramental lecture; and heard a 'fermon from these words, Jefus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the Ghoft. The words of the text, affected my heart, and the sermon seemed to do my foul good. He died for finners! Happy are those that truft in him! In the evening I attended a religious meeting; and what I heard, was to me, as cold water to a thirsty foul. During most of the day, 'I had by turns doubts and fears ' refpecting my future ftate. But

6

at night, felt as if I could trust 'myself in the hands of God, and 'having committed myself to his keeping, gave myself to fleep, faying, I will both lay me down in peace and fleep; for thou

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6

Lord makeft me to dwell in 'fafety. I spent most of the forepart of Friday in reading and writing, and in the afternoon, be gan to entertain a hope I had feen and been with Jefus, who hath faid, those that seek me early 'fhall find me. To-day, viz. Saturday, my hope is strong; and I believe, if God ever did pour

<

But

it laft Wednesday evening. at that time I thought of no fuch thing. My prayer now is, that 'God, for Jefus' fake would pour 'out his Spirit upon all flesh."

very little fleep, fince Mon-his Spirit into my heart, he did day night, I fell afleep when I awoke, found my 6 more at eafe, than it was before. But I feemed to myself, to be a < new creature. I could not tell how I was altered, but I tho't, furely I am not the fame perfon I ufed to be. In the forenoon of Thursday, while I was about my 'common domeftic concerns, ma< ny tears fell from my eyes; not because I was concerned about the falvation of my own foul; but, O! the goodness of God! In the afternoon, I attended a

* << Torrents of grief can ne'er repay,

"The debt of love I owe; "Here, Lord, I give myfelf to thee, ""Tis all that I can do."

In narrating the preceding con verfations and extracts, the narrator, hath not confined himself wholly to the modes of expref- ! fion, and forms of speech made ufe of by the speakers and writers; but hath endeavored to retain the true fenfe and meaning of every particular fentence, and as far as he could confiftently with rules of the original words and phrases. propriety, hath confined himself to

During the time the awakening continued, fports and paftimes,

and ceremonious vifits, were generally discontinued; and the ballroom fo far unoccupied, that the musician feared his craft was in danger, and his hopes of gain were gone. And in thofe days, the word of the Lord, both read and preached, was precious. In fome houfes, where the bible was kept heretofore useless in the book-cafe it might now be seen, lying in the most convenient places, for frequent ufe. To many it appeared a new book, whenever they opened it they always found fomething new in it, fomething they had never feen, or never attended to before and preaching appeared new to many; yea, the old fermons they had heard before, were new, and they were ready to imagine they never heard fuch excellent fermons before.

Although much time was spent in religious exercifes, fuch as reading, attending lectures, and other religious meetings, yet in fuch a manner did those who were serious œconomife and redeem time that it was believed by unbiaffed and candid obfervers, that worldly bufinefs did not fuffer by means of the religious attention.

A good number of families who had always lived without calling upon God either morning or evening, are now devout worshippers.

fhall come in like a flood, the spirit of the Lord fhall fet up a ftandard against him; but for this he will be enquired of by the house of Ifrael.

And with what freedom and importunity may God's fpirit ual Ifrael addrefs the throne of grace for fo rich a bleffing! Thus faith the holy one of Ifrael and his maker, "afk of me concerning my fons, and concerning the work of my hands, command ye 'me." Nor did he ever fay to the feed of Jacob, "feek ye me

' in vain."

N my early life, I was witness

to an extraordinary inftance of clear views and triumphing joy and hope in a dying perfon. I was then fo young that I cannot diftinctly recollect the defcriptions which he gave of his faith and hopes, but remember the deep im

To fee or hear of fuch revivals of religion and times of reformation, must refresh and gladden the hearts of all the godly; and ex-preffions they made on my own cite the children of Zion, while they rejoice in their king, and in the profperity of his kingdom, to pray without ceafing, that he would haften the time, even the fet time for the accomplishment of all thofe glorious things fpoken of in prophecy, concerning the enlargement, peace, profperity and glory of Chriftianity. When the enemy

mind; and I was thereby led to reflect much on the evidence in favor of truth and religion which may be collected from the views, the hopes and the fears of those who feel their near approach to the eternal world. This determined. me, at the commencement of my miniftry, to note in my diary, extraordinary inftances of conviction,

fear, or joy which I fhould ob- a fimilar fituation, they would not ferve in the clofe of life. The re-fail to tremble for their own ftate. fult has been fomewhat different Under these impreffions, and with from the fanguine opinions of my a love for the fouls of men, I fhall youth; for I was then ready to occafionally felect from the notes conclude that men's eternal ftate I have preferved, and communimight always be determined from cate an account of fundry pertheir apprehenfions on the known fons whofe ftate of mind, in approach of death. Since that the profpect of death, deeply imtime, I have feen a few inftances preffed me, and from which I colof moft hardened ftupidity, and lected much evidence for the realifouls departing without any fenfety of truths, which are doubted

by fome in this day of fcepticism.

The firft inftance which I fhall relate was my last interview with an aged and dying Christian Minifter. This good man had paffed a long life in a faithful discharge of the duties of his miniftry. Wherever known he was loved and refpected; and among the fe

of fin, guilt and an approaching judgment; but these were perfons. who had either been notorious for crimes, or who, governed by a deteftable avarice, had maintained fome vifible decency of conduct, that under this difguife they might make the unwary their prey. I have alfo feen a few, for whom I had a charitable hope, departing in dark-rious people of his own charge, nefs. Many have I feen clofe their time of trial either in a flate of delirium, or ftupified by difeafe and medicine, fo as to have little knowledge of what paffed between the first attack of pain and their appearance at the bar of God. Such inftances as thefe are a folemn warning not to poftpone our preparation for another world to the time of ficknefs and death.

But altho there may be many fuch cafes, in which the fcene of death prefents nothing but ftupidity or diftraction; I yet believe that the ftate of men's minds at that hour is often fuch as affords a folemn and weighty argument for the reality and importance of religion and divine truth. Then the appetites are cooled ;-then the world and all its pleafures and interefts appear in their true light ;then the mind folemnly paufes and confiders, and confideration is moft favorable to rational and fincere conviction. If many, who behold fuch fcenes with ftupidity, did but feel that they muft foon be in

and the neighboring churches, he was almoft venerated. His converfation was exemplary; his heart affectionate and pious; his preach ing was on the great doctrines of the gofpel-the wifdom and holinefs of God in the redemption of finners the excellency and fuffi ciency of a crucified Jefus-and the nature and neceffity of Chrif tian holiness.

By particular request, I repeated! a vifit to this good man near the clofe of his life. On entering his room he faid, "I have fent for you, to tell you how great a finner may truft and even rejoice in the fovereign mercy of God, and alfo to charge you to be a faithful minifter of Chrift." Afterwards, as he found ftrength and opportunity, he faid nearly the following things. "You behold in me one of the greatest of finners; and if divine fovereignty had not prevented, according to my abilities to do evil, I fhould have been the very greateft. God placed me under the reftraints of his providence, and I