kept by us as a church. It was a most affecting time with me and many more.Surely we never had such a spirit of prayer amongst us! "On the 2d of April, we lost our dear and worthy deacon, Mr. Beeby Wallis.* The next * Mr. Fuller published a funeral sermon for this very excellent man, in which he has given a just delineation of his character, and some account of his ancestors, who were the first pastors of the Baptist church at Kettering. He was buried under a sycamore-tree, which he had planted in the meeting-yard, the ground having been originally given by him; and the following epitaph, composed by Mr. Fuller, was inscribed on his tomb: Kind Sycamore, preserve beneath thy shade And unaffected piety, he liv'd Belov'd amongst us, and belov'd he died. Beneath an Allon-Bacuth Jacob wept: Beneath thy shade we mourn a heavier loss. His widow, Mrs. Martha Wallis, a valuable friend to Mr. Fuller, and to the cause of Christ, long survived her husband, and entered into rest, Oct. 17, 1812. She was buried in the same vault with him; and the epitaph was altered as follows: Kind Sycamore, preserve beneath thy shade The precious dust of those who cherish'd thee: church-meeting was kept as a day of solemn fasting and prayer, and a very affecting oppor tunity it was. During this and the last year we have had a good deal of religious concern among the young people of the congregation. I set up a private meeting, in which I might read, and pray, and converse with them; and have found it good both to them and me. This spring several of them joined the church.”, [For the exercises of his mind in the time of Mrs. Fuller's last illness and death, see Chap. IX.] 66 July 18, 1794.-Within the last two years I have experienced perhaps as much peace and calmness of mind, as at any former period. I have been enabled to walk somewhat more near to God than heretofore; and I find that there is nothing that affords such a preservative against sin. 'If we walk in the Spirit, we shall not fulfil the lusts of the flesh.' This passage has been of great use to me, ever since I preached from it, which was on June 3, 1792, The idea on which I then principally insisted was, that sin is to be overcome, not so much by a direct or mere resistance of it, as by opposing other principles and considerations to it. This sentiment has been abundantly verified in my experience: so far as I have walked in the Spirit, so far has my life been holy and happy: and I have experienced a good degree of these blessings, compared with former times; though but a very small degree compared with what 1 ought to aspire after. [See more of this date in Chap. VII.] "I have lately spoken some strong language against the sin of covetousness. O that I may never be left to that spirit myself! I have been concerned this morning lest I should. We know but little of what we are till we are tried! 1 dreamed last night, that a person of a religious and generous character was making his observations upon Dissenters, that there were but few eminently holy and benevolent characters amongst them. On waking, my thoughts ran upon this subject. I felt that there was too much truth in it, (though perhaps no truth if they were viewed in comparison with other denominations,) and possessed an ardent desire, that, let others do what they would, I and mine might live not to ourselves, but to him who died for us! It seemed a lovely thing which is said of Christ-he went about doing good! O that whatever I may at any time possess of this world's good, it might be consecrated to God! The Lord ever preserve me from the mean vice of covetousness! 66 "I felt very tender last night, in preaching from Job xxix. 2.-O that I were as in months past, &c. I do think the last two years have been the best two years of my life; but within a few months I have felt a spirit of declension coming upon me. "Oct. 27.-Of late I have been greatly employed in journeying and preaching, and endeavouring to collect for the East India Mission. I find a removal from place to place, though good for my health, yet not good for my soul. I feel weary of journies, on account of their interfering so much with my work at home. I long to visit my congregation, that I may know more of their spiritual concerns, and be able to preach to their cases.' “May 12, 1796.--For a long time past I have written nothing; not because I have been uncomfortable; perhaps I never lived a year in my life in which enjoyed more of the pleasures of religion, than in 1795: especially at the Association, which was held at Kettering. But my time has been so taken up about missionary and other public matters, and I have had so much writing on those subjects; that hence, and on account of writing being against the complaint in my head, I have declined it in this book." I am satisfied that intelligent readers will know what use to make of these valuable extracts; never intended indeed for public view, and almost prohibited from being seen; but which I have ventured to make, under a strong persuasion that if I could now consult my dear departed friend, he would be satisfied with the reasons of my conduct; and indeed apprehending that I have done only as he would have done by another in like circumstances. Much there is to show what a poor creature is man, saved, renewed man, even at his best estate. 1 do not object, and I am very sure he would not, to the idea, that there may be Christians who have got nearer to the mark of our calling, and who have had a fuller enjoyment even before hand of the prize: would to God they were more numerous, and their attainments far higher. But after all, I am fully satisfied, that the best believer on earth has need of daily pardon, daily aid, daily healing; and that Mr. Edwards had good ground for the conviction he once expressed-"There is no dependence upon self. It is to no purpose to resolve, except we depend on the grace of God; for if it were not for his mere grace, one might be a very good man one day, and a very wicked one the next." "Nevertheless, with all my dear Brother's acknowledged defects and painful conflicts, there was an unspeakable difference between his religion, and that of some high professors in the present day, whose only concern it is to maintain a confidence of their own safety, a confidence too often indeed without evidence, from scripture, sense, or reason;' and if this can be attained, |