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Eight and twenty letters lie before me, the first of which is dated Nov. 1, 1779, and the last, (which is the dismission of Mr. and Mrs. Fuller from the church at Soham to the church at Kettering,) is dated Aug. 10, 1783, all of which evince the cautious and conscientious manner in which both Mr. Fuller and his friends at Kettering acted on this occasion.

I have also in my possession a Diary of Mr. Fuller's, from the 3d of June 1780, to the 10th of Jan. 1782, in which are many allusions to the exercises of his mind on this subject. I suspect some things written in short-hand may relate to the same business: but as he certainly intended this to be concealed, I have not wished to have them decyphered. first that is legible is dated,

The

“June 30, 1780.-My heart has been much affected to-day, in thinking on my situation. I prayed to the Lord earnestly, that if there were any thing in his word which might direct me, he would lead my mind to it.Here I must wait. The Lord may have designed to lead me in a way that I have not known.

"Oct. 13.-Much concerned with the state of things among us, and with my own state. Went to the Lord in prayer; found a solemnity of spirit. The Lord direct me to the land of uprightness.

L

"27. My heart often aches in thinking of my situation. Lord, what is duty? O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes!

"Nov. 9.-Found my heart disposed to ask counsel of God, and leave him to guide me in his own way.

"10. O that I might be guided some way! My heart is much perplexed; but found liberty in prayer.

"28. For some days past have been tenderly concerned about my situation. O that the Lord would bestow upon me his counsels and his care! I am afraid of pride being in my motives both ways. O that God would hear and help me. The parable of the talents has been something to me. I am frequently told that iny talents are buried here-but I do not know. O that I may not have to go upon this principle! that some plainer path might appear, if I must go.

"Dec. 22.—I am far from happy. I cannot feel settled where I am, yet I cannot remove. Lord, let not duty hang thus in doubt.

"Jan. 15. 1781.-Much disheartened, in seeing the coolness of some in providing for the future welfare of the church."

In February his mind was much exercised on the subject; but on the 5th of March he writes thus:

"To-night it seems as if it would break my heart to remove: the seal and fruits of my

ministry are dear to me! Yet how it can be otherwise I cannot see.

6.-A continual heaviness lies upon me. O that I could say, one way or other, upon solid grounds, 'I have the mind of Christ.'

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April 1.-It seems as if the church and I should break each other's hearts! To-night I have been but truly charged with having an irregular mind.' How heartily could I embrace death, if it pleased God to send it! How far are peace and happiness from me.

"2.-Affected in prayer. O for an unerring guide! O that I knew the Lord's will! Verily, if I know mine own heart, I would do it. I had rather, I think, much rather walk all my days in the most miserable condition, than offend the Lord by trying to get out of it.

"10.-The thoughts of my situation now return, and overpower me! To-night I was exceedingly affected in prayer, earnestly longing that I might know the will of God. I have entered to-night into a solemn vow, which I desire it may please God to accept at my worthless hands. With all the powers of my soul, with the utmost effusion of feelings, I have vowed to this effect before the Lord :'O Lord! If thou wilt give me so much light as plainly to see in this case what is my duty, then if I do not obey the dictates of conscience, let my tongue for ever cleave to the roof of

my mouth! let my ministry be at an end! let me be made an example of thy displeasure against falsehood!'

"The case of those who asked counsel of Jeremiah, (Chap. xlii.) seemed to excite in me a jealousy of my own heart; but so far as 1 know any thing of myself, I am resolved to stay or go, as it should please God, did I but know his will.

"18.-Earnest out-goings to God in prayer. To-morrow seems a day of great importance. Then I must give my reasons to the church, for what I have intimated concerning my removal. The Lord guide and bless them and me!

"19.-I went to meeting to-day with very little premeditation, thinking an upright heart would be prepared. I assigned two reasons for my removal-The complaints some have made of non-edification, and my wasting my property every year. Neither of these objections being answered, the church despairs,all is in confusion! Ah! what can I do? what can they do? My heart would say, Stay; would freely go and gather them together, and pour oil into their wounds. My judgment only forbids me. . . . . . No. . . . . No! Surely I cannot go! My heart is overwhelmed-lead me to the Rock that is higher than I! Have been pouring out my heart to the Lord since I came from the meeting: think I could rather chuse death than departure! My heart is as

if it would dissolve.

It is like wax, it is

melted in the midst of my bowels.

"21.-Vast are the trials tied to time,

And all my thoughts confusion still!

My spirit is overwhelmed within me: my heart within me is desolate. Now my mind seems to lean as if I must stay, even though it terminate in my temporal ruin. O fluctuating soul!

'May 1.-Have been praying to the Lord that I may keep to that direction which has been so much to me ten or eleven years ago, In all thy ways acknowledge him, &c.' This passage has been several times like a present help in time of need. O that it may

be such now!

“ 2.—Affliction_returns. How heavy! My heart and flesh faileth. O that God may be the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever!

me all this day.

“3.—A painful melancholy lies heavy upon Have been trying to pray, but can get no manner of ease. Withhold not thou thy tender love' has been my plea.

"4.-All my powers of body and mind absorbed in my extreme affliction. I thought towards night, that as these limbs had been ingloriously employed in the service of sin, how reasonable, though pardoning mercy be extended, that they should be blasted, confined by a series of affliction, and at last,