CHAPTER XXXI.

1855-1857.

Religious Engagements at and about Home.

1855, Twelfth month 10th. Feeling drawn to attend Haddonfield Monthly Meeting, I went over to it this morning. The company was smaller than usual. This is discouraging to those who are constrained to endeavor to keep up their religious meetings, and to do what their hands find to do, in support of the cause of Christ. They go through much mental exercise on account of it, often fearing that their meetings will dwindle away, and the members become scattered to the world. For this class, I felt much, while sitting with them, and was led to show that the Lord's people, in many instances, had passed through much humiliation and bitter suffering before He saw fit to manifest Himself for their deliverance. The children of Israel in Egypt, and the Jews in the reign of Ahasuerus, appeared to be exposed to destruction. Moses and Mordecai were brought very low, before they were used as instruments in the Lord's hand, in bringing about the liberation of that people from bondage, and the murderous designs of Haaman; but the Lord made way for them, and He can do it in this day, for us, when his time comes. We must learn to bear affliction, and to wait upon Him, and as we are enabled, pray to Him, to give us faith and patience, and to extend his compassion to his tribulated children, for their support and consolation.

21st. For some days past, it seemed out of my power to come at inward, humble waiting upon the Lord, or to feel the spirit of prayer in tender cries unto Him for help. Our Meeting for Sufferings, to-day, called forth but little religious feeling and exercise; the subjects which claimed its attention, being much of an outward character. I thought the day for my taking part in the services of Society was drawing to a close. It is like being stripped of all armor and qualification; which will no doubt be placed on others, who will be called into the Lord's work. If I can be favored to retire to the inner temple, and partake of the cup of suffering, for my own purification, more

and more experiencing the silence of all flesh, and keeping steadfastly upon the watch-tower, to see what the Lord shall say unto me, if He condescend to speak, and what I shall answer when I am reproved, preservation and greater deepening in the Divine life, I humbly hope, may be more fully known.

23d. Having for some time had a draft to Cropwell Meeting, I went there this morning, first-day. I was brought into sympathy with those who love the Lord Jesus, and feel bound to endeavor to hold their meetings according to our testimony to inward spiritual worship, and when able to attend, cannot stay from them. To these, I was led to minister, I hope, a cup of consolation and encouragement; that they might hold on faithfully, setting a good example to the young people, that they may be gathered to Christ, and a band of living witnesses be raised up among them. Invitation was also extended to the young people, who are favored with clear convictions of the Holy Spirit, setting their sins in order before them, to yield to the Divine will, and let the Lord make them what He would have them to be; and they would know Him to effect the work of sanctification, to their own peace, and the comfort of the church. I was also bowed in thanksgiving to the Father of mercies, that there were preserved in that place a remnant, upon whom rested a concern to be found in their allotment; and humble prayer was put up, that in his mercy, He would sustain these, and make them instrumental in gathering the children and the young people to his beloved Son, that they may be prepared to occupy their places in the church, and support the cause and testimonies of Truth.

1856, First month 8th. The great importance of being preserved from the power of the tempter, came over me with much weight this morning, before I rose; and I was brought to put up fervent, mental cries to the God of all our sure mercies, that He would not suffer me to fall into temptation; that in unmerited mercy, He would forgive and blot out my sins, and remember them no more; and that whatever He saw meet, to humble and keep me on the watch, He would, in his tender compassion, administer, for my preservation from evil. I remembered some who had been highly favored, and had afterwards slidden from the foundation. I thought of our beloved friend Thomas Kite, how he had been taken away before he reached my age, in peace and brightness; and it was to me more desirable to be

removed from this scene, before anything should dim the character, which through grace, we may have been favored to attain, than to be continued here to old age, and lose the life and virtue of religion, which had been our experience to possess. He who, of his own good pleasure, begins the work of regeneration, and carries it on to its perfection, can alone keep us from falling, and in the end present us faultless before the throne of his glory, with exceeding joy. May it be my experience, though unworthy of the least of all his favors.

20th. We have had very severe weather, at different times, since the beginning of the year; the mercury having been several degrees below zero in the city, and still colder in parts of the neighboring country. Much snow has fallen, making travelling in many places very difficult, particularly on some railroads; also encumbering our streets, which have been covered with an unusual thickness of ice. Many ways are adopted to meet the necessities of the poor, though there is not so much street begging as last winter. It is evident, the more that is done for those beggars, the more importunate they become; availing themselves of every source of supply they can; by which, unworthy persons often deprive more deserving objects of what they should receive; but it would be wrong to allow any to suffer from want, however unjustifiable their course may be.

On first-day morning, the 17th, I was again engaged to preach the everlasting gospel, both concerning the coming of the Son of God in the flesh; his propitiatory death for the sins of the whole world; his glorious advocacy at the right hand of the Father, and as being the Source of all saving knowledge of God, by the immediate revelation of his Holy Spirit in the heart. It is the grace that comes by Jesus Christ alone, that can impart the saving knowledge that is life eternal. The heart must receive Christ in his spiritual appearance, submit to his will, forsake all and follow Him, in order to receive this knowledge of God, and hold communion with Him, through our Lord Jesus Christ. Many are willing to believe the doctrines of the New Testament, but refuse to deny themselves, forsake sin, and follow the Lamb of God whithersoever He leads; and thus they fail to become partakers of the fulness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ. Oh, the want of the pure and undefiled life of Christ Jesus, ruling in the professors of his name!

Third month 12th. The weather this week has been very cold for the time of year; the mercury in thermometers in the city, being but six to nine degrees above zero, for one or two days, and in the country, at a degree or two below zero. There has been much difficulty in opening the navigation of the Delaware. Vessels which have been at the breakwater many weeks, have now been towed up by ice-boats; and though it is still quite cold, it is hoped the channel may be kept open, and that laboring men may have opportunity to obtain employment, to keep them from suffering; of which it is to be feared there have been not a few instances this winter. It has been throughout a severe winter; long and tedious.

13th. I went to Haddonfield this morning, and attended the Quarterly Meeting held there, which was large, several Friends from two or three other Quarters being there. In the second meeting, it appeared to be my place, to call Friends to the quickening, heart-changing power of the Holy Spirit; which prepared the early Friends to understand and to open to the people, the doctrines and the nature of the gospel dispensation. It is the same Divine life that can open them to us, and which will bind us conscientiously to maintain them before the world, and to all people; not in word only, but by consistent lives and conversation. Returned home in the evening, thankful we were permitted to land safely, there being much heavy ice in the

river.

15th. This evening, near nine o'clock, the steamboat in which we had crossed the river, in going to and from Haddonfield, took fire. Being old, and the timber very dry, the flames spread rapidly, and the captain not being able to get her through the canal in the island opposite the city, on account of the ice, an attempt was made to run her back to the wharf; but the steersman's house was soon enveloped in the flame, so that he was driven from the wheel; and thus being left to the current, which turned her from her course, and swept her off again into the stream, before any could spring to the wharf, which was by some attempted, she drifted away, and was finally grounded on the bar. There was said to have been one hundred persons on board, sixty-two of whom it is supposed were lost, either by being burned to death, or by being drowned, after jumping into the river. Boats of different descriptions were put off for their relief, but being night, and probably but few at hand, the de

struction of life was fearful. Such an awful event has never before occurred on our river, that we have any account of. Death, overtaking so many, who could have had no apprehension of it, a few minutes before leaving the wharf, and under such dreadful circumstances, had much effect upon the public mind, as well as bringing deep distress on surviving connections and friends.

18th. I went to the North Meeting, under some trial of faith. It was a large collection, many school children being there. The circumstance of parents being rebuked by some, for bringing their children to the Saviour, that He might lay his hand on them and bless them, was presented to my mind; and after waiting, and trying the fleece wet and dry, the subject was opened; and the danger alluded to, of persons placing stumbling-blocks in the way of the children, whose minds are brought under Divine conviction; and thereby turning them aside from their Saviour. The mercy and goodness of our Heavenly Father, in watching over and warning young people of the temptations of Satan, and the enticements of wicked persons; of which I could testify from experience, when an apprentice boy, and the Lord's defence, vouchsafed by the horror suddenly brought over me, were referred to; and all pleaded with to mind the visitations and requirings of the Most High extended to them. Ability was graciously granted to preach the gospel, under the quickening power of the Holy Spirit, which reached and tendered the hearts of some, and I came home thankful for the unmerited favor.

23d. It is not the hearers, but the doers, of the law, that are justified. As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. It is those who do the sayings of Christ, that build upon the rock; and when the floods beat upon their house, it will not fall, because it is founded upon a rock.

On fifth-day, the 27th, I was at the Philadelphia Monthly Meeting. I felt required to mention the fasting, almost to famishing, which the Lord's children had at times to endure; but that it was a great mercy to have preserved a hunger and thirst after righteousness, for in his time we shall be filled. The subject opened so as to show that whatever were our growths, experiences or gifts, we can do nothing, and are nothing, without Christ. The goodness of the Lord, in filling my heart with these Divine things, was humbling, and renew