eyes, and let into their minds a sense of the greatness of his grace, and fulness of Christ, and his readiness to save, who, before, were broken with apprehensions of divine wrath, and sunk into an abyss under a sense of guilt, which they were ready to think was beyond the mercy of God: their joyful surprise has caused their hearts, as it were, to leap, so that they have been ready to break forth into laughter, tears often at the same time issuing like a flood, and intermingling a loud weeping and sometimes they have not been able to forbear crying out with a loud voice, expressing their great admiration. In some even the view of the glory of God's sovereignty, in the exercises of his grace, has surprised the soul with such sweetness, as to produce the same effects. I remember an instance of one, who, reading something concerning God's sovereign way of saving sinners, as being self-moved, and having no regard to men's own righteousness as the motive of his grace, but as magnifying himself and abasing man, or to that purpose, felt such a sudden rapture of joy and delight in the consideration of it: and yet then suspected himself to be in a Christless condition, and had been long in great distress for fear that God would not have mercy on him.

Many continue a long time in a course of gracious exercises and experiences, and do not think themselves to be converted, but conclude themselves to be otherwise; and none knows how long they would continue so, were they not helped by particular instruction. There are undoubted instances of some that have lived in this way for many years together; and a continuing in these circumstances of

being converted and not believing it, has had various consequences with various persons, and with the same persons at various times; some continue in great encouragement and hope, that they shall obtain mercy, in a steadfast resolution to persevere in seeking it, and in an humble waiting for it at God's foot; but very often, when the lively sense of the sufficiency of Christ, and the riches of divine grace begins to vanish, upon a withdrawal of the influences of the Spirit of God, they return to greater distress than ever; for they have now a far greater sense of the misery of a natural condition than before, being in a new manner sensible of the reality of eternal things, and the greatness of God, and his excellency, and how dreadful it is to be separated from him, and to be subject to his wrath; so that they are sometimes swallowed up with darkness and amazement. Satan has a vast advantage in such cases, to ply them with various temptations, which he is not wont to neglect. In such a case, persons do very much need a guide to lead them to an understanding of what we are taught in the word of God of the nature of grace, and to help them to apply it to themselves.

I have been much blamed by many, that I should make it my practice, when I have been satisfied concerning persons' good estate, to signify it to them: which thing has been greatly misrepresented abroad, as innumerable other things concerning us, to prejudice the country against the whole affair. But let it be noted, that what I have undertaken to judge of, has rather been qualifications, and declared experiences, than persons: not but that I have thought

it my duty, as a pastor, to assist and instruct persons in applying Scripture rules and characters to their own case, (in doing of which, I think many greatly need a guide;) and have, where I thought the case plain, used freedom in signifying my hope of them to others but have been far from doing this, concerning all that I have had some hopes of; and I believe have used much more caution than many have supposed. Yet I should account it a great calamity to be deprived of the comfort of rejoicing with those of my flock, that have been in great distress, whose circumstances I have been acquainted with, when there seems to be good evidence, that those that were dead are alive, and those that were lost are found. I am sensible the practice would have been safer in the hands of one of a riper judgment and greater experience; but yet there has seemed to be an absolute necessity of it on the fore-mentioned accounts; and it has been found to be that which God has most remarkably owned and blessed amongst us, both to the persons themselves, and

others.

Grace, in many persons, through their ignorance of their state, and their looking on themselves still as the objects of God's displeasure, has been like the trees in winter, or like seed in the spring suppressed under a hard clod of earth; and many in such cases have laboured to their utmost to divert their minds from the pleasing and joyful views they have had, and to suppress those consolations and gracious affections that arose thereupon. And when it has once come into their minds to inquire, whether or not this was not true grace, they have been much

afraid lest they should be deceived with common illuminations and flashes of affection, and eternally undone with a false hope. But when they have

been better instructed, and so brought to allow of hope, this has awakened the gracious disposition of their hearts into life and vigour, as the warm beams of the sun in the spring have quickened the seeds and productions of the earth: grace being now at liberty, and cherished with hope, has soon flowed out to their abundant satisfaction and increase.

There is no one thing that I know of that God has made such a means of promoting his work amongst us, as the news of others' conversion; in the awakening sinners, and engaging them earnestly to seek the same blessing, and in the quickening of saints. Though I have thought that a minister's declaring his judgment about particular persons' experiences might, from these things, be justified, yet I am often signifying to my people, how unable one man is to know another's heart, and how unsafe it is depending merely on the judgment of ministers, or others, and have abundantly insisted on it with them, that a manifestation of sincerity in fruits brought forth, is better than any manifestation they can make of it in words alone, can be; and that, without this, all pretences to spiritual experiences are vain ; as all my congregation can witness. And the people in general, in this late extraordinary time, have manifested an extraordinary dread of being deceived, being exceeding fearful lest they should build wrong, and some of them backward to receive hope, even to a great extreme, which has occasioned me to dwell longer on this part of the Narrative.

Conversion is a great and glorious work of God's power, at once changing the heart, and infusing life into the dead soul; though that grace that is then implanted does more gradually display itself in some than in others. But as to fixing on the precise time when they put forth the very first act of grace, there is a great deal of difference in different persons: in some, it seems to be very discernible when the very time of this was; but others are more at a loss. In this respect, there are very many that do not know the time (as has been already observed) that when they have the first exercises of grace, do not know that it is the grace of conversion, and sometimes do not think it to be so till a long time after: and many, even when they come to entertain great hope that they are converted, if they remember what they experienced in the first exercises of grace, they are at a loss, whether it was any more than a common illumination; or whether some other more clear and remarkable experience, that they had afterwards, was not the first that was of a saving nature. And the

manner of God's work on the soul is (sometimes especially) very mysterious, and it is with the kingdom of God, as to its manifestation in the heart of a convert, as is said: "So is the kingdom of God, as if a man should cast seed into the ground; and should sleep, and rise night and day, and the seed should spring and grow up, he knoweth not how. For the earth bringeth forth of herself; first the blade, then the ear, after that the full corn in the ear."

In some, converting light is like a glorious brightness suddenly shining in upon a person, and all around him they are in a remarkable manner