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do I think it necessary to extend my narrative, by an account of a great variety of occurrences with which my pilgrimage hath since been distinguished. I promised him at the commencement of my history, that it should be a short one, from the hour in which the Lord was pleased to call me by His grace, to the period in which I sat down to communicate it; and having brought the subject thus far, I shall therefore now relieve the reader's attention altogether.
To tell him of my present feelings, amidst a mingled state of many precious assurances, tempered with many trying dispensations, would be to relate the uniform history of every pilgrim to Zion. These are the spots of God's children, and they all prove a family-likeness. I am frequently exercised with deep and sharp trials, and sometimes feel a heart disposed to tell my Heavenly Teacher, that I think I might be spared many such lessons. But the upshot of the instruction generally brings me to this conclusion; "How happy it is for me, that I am "placed under a wiser and a better direction "than my own!"
I am now waiting the Master's call, rather, I persuade myself (if I know any thing of my own heart) with a pleasing, than an anxious, expectation. My desire is to die daily to the world, and to crucify the flesh with its affections and lusts. I wish to sit as detached as possible from every thing here below, that, when the carriage to fetch me stops at my door, I may rise up instantly, and depart to meet the Lord in the air. Under this view, my heart is weaning more and more, I hope, from all things beneath the sun., Little of this world can I speak, for I know but little of its employments. I am seeking a better country, that is, an heavenly. And what is it to the man under sentence of death in Newgate, what is transacting on the royal exchange?
And as to the full assurance of faith, respecting the possession of those immortal objects which open before me, I can and do say, with the humblest, but at the same time with the best grounded confidence, / know in whom I have believed; being confident of this very thing, that He who hath begun a good work in me, will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. That crown of righteousness, which the Apostle declared was not only laid up for Him, but for all them that love the appearing of the Lord, is laid up for me also. I have examined myself by this standard also, as well as by every other which I know of; Do I love the Lord's appearing? Yes! I love His appearing in the conversion of every poor sinner whom God the Holy Ghost makes willing in the day of His power. I love His appearing in the gracious, seasonable, and suitable relief of all His tried family. I love His appearing in the defence of His oppressed ones from sin and Satan, in the ten thousand instances with which they are exercised here below. And, I trust, I am of that happy number who are said to be looking for, and hasting unto, the coming of that great day of His appearing, when He shall come to be glorified in His saints, and to be admired in all them that believe.
Reader, farewell! May our experience, when Jesus comes, correspond with the declaration of the prophet: It shall be said in that day, Lo! this is our God, we have waited for Him, and He will save us: this is the Lord, we have waited for Him, we will be glad and rejoice in His salvation. Amen.