86

"been learning, by little and little, to discover more and more of my own emptiness and 56 poverty, and of the infinite fullness and suitability which is in the unsearchable riches "of Christ Jesus to supply all my wants. And "the attainment to which at length, under the "teaching of GOD the Holy Ghost, I am ar"rived, is to know, that Jesus is the alone

portion of His people, for there is salvation "in no other. The inheritance lost in the "first Adam, can only be recovered in the "second. Jesus is the fountain of all blessings, "temporal, spiritual, and eternal.. • Men "shall be blessed in HIM.' And out of Him "there is not a single favor provided for any of "the bankrupt race of Adam's children. And "it is my peculiar mercy, and a lesson which "I have learnt from our Great Master in the "Lord's school, that while the blessed Spirit "declares in His Church, that the Lord's por"tion is His people, Jacob is the lot of His "inheritance: my heart can make reply to the "sweet sound, from the persuasion of a rer ciprocal interest in the Redeemer, the Lord "is the portion of mine inheritance, and of my cup. Thou maintainest my lot.*

tr

"It hath not been, however, without many "hard lessons to flesh and blood, with which "I have been exercised, that I have arrived to this knowledge. It was a long time before "I could rightly understand, and still longer

* Compare Deut. xxxii. 9. with Psalm xvi. 5. for a precicus evidence of this doctrine.

"before I could rightly relish, when under"stood, the humiliating doctrine of living out ઠંડ of myself, and living wholly upon another. "The pride of my heart continually revolted. "at the idea of depending, like a beggar at "the gate, for my daily supply. Though the heavenly manna became doubly sweet by its "freshness, yet I frequently found a rising "desire within me to have a little stock, which "I might call my own. And even now, though repeated lessons ought to have

taught me better, and though the precious"ness of every gift is enhanced by its being "received immediately out of the hand of the "gracious Giver; yet such is the remaining

power of the unhumbled pride of my heart, "that I discover much rebellion at times rising "within. And I am prompted very frequently "to tell my heavenly Instructor, that surely "now I might without danger be rendered "somewhat more independent. Blessed be "the patience of him with whom I have to do, "that whenever this is the case (so very

gracious and condescending is He) a renewal "of my old lessons soon sets all to rights "again, and makes me bless His Holy Name, "that I am placed under a wiser and better "direction than my own. By carrying my forgetful heart back to the first principles of

66

learning in the Divine science, and by calling "to mind my original stock, and pre "measure of indwelling corruptic "the peculiar blessedness of

r

"fresh springs in Him. And the sweetness "of this life, when grace is in exercise, is inexpressible. While I am enabled to see "that Jesus is my portion, every dispensation "comes in a way of mercy. When my heart "is under the assurance that My Lord is in it, "it matters, not what it is. His presence "alone hath the wonderful property of con

verting crosses and pains into enjoyments "and pleasures. Every affliction which comes "directed by His hand, hath the sure anark of "affection folded up within the cover. And "while I sit down with ten-fold pleasure to the enjoyment of the thousand mercies which

66

my GOD is continually giving me, because "I behold with the eye of faith His presence "at the table smiling graciously upon all; I no "less am enabled, in the hour of calamity, to "wait the upshot, because I can and do hear "with the ear of faith that soul-sustaining

66

voice, "What I do thou knowest not now, "but thou shalt know hereafter. Oh! the "sweetness of having Jesus for our portion! "and of living a life of faith upon the Son of GOD, who hath loved me and given himself " for me!"

--I was musing upon the happiness of a frame of mind like this, as the Poor Man ended his relation, and reflecting on the little probability that I should ever arrive at such a state of blessedness; when a deep sigh, accompanied with a voice of complaint from a

person near me, roused me from my medita tion, which at once spake my feelings and

his own.

THE MOURNFUL BELIEVER.

"OH that it were with me as you de"scribe!" (said the Mourner); "but my case "is far different. I fear that I have only a "name to live, while I am dead before Gon! "It is not possible, surely, that such a state "as mine can consist with a life of grace in "the soul. If the love of Christ was shed "abroad in my heart; could I live, as I do, 66 so far from him? My mind is at times as "lifeless and unconcerned towards Christ, as "their's can be who never loved His name. "It is true, I feel at certain seasons great "desires after the Lord. And I know, that

66

a change hath taken place in my mind. For "the world and its pursuits, which my heart "was once running after with the greatest "eagerness, now have lost their influence. "And the society of the people of God, who "were once my song of reproach, I now above "all things value. Yet still, so much sin is "mixed with all I do; so little do I live to Christ, and to the remembrance of His dear "name; and the throne of grace is so often neglected by me, from day to day; that "I very much fear my hope is all a delusion." Had I been called upon to relate my own experience, I could not have done it in

66

more suitable words. I felt my heart drawn towards the speaker, from the affinity that existed between us; and waited with the most awakened expectation for some kind brother in this humble society to say a word of consolation to a case so much my own. It was not long before the Poor Man, to whom I owed so much before, took up the subject, to answer the doubts and remove the fears of the mournful believer; and in doing this, he added to my obligation to him ten-fold.

"Your case, my friend" (cried the Poor Man, addressing himself to the Mourner) "is by no means singular. It is the uniform. "complaint of the faithful in all ages. What

66

"one antient servant of the Lord groaned un“ der, all of them have found, that when we "do good, evil is present with us. And the ،، reason of it is obvious. It ariseth from the different principles, grace and corruption. There are in every regenerated person two principles, a body of sin, and a spirit of grace; the flesh lusting "against the spirit, and the spirit against the "flesh; and these are contrary the one to the other, so that ye cannot do the things which

workings within, of the

،،

ye would. There is not a part of the mind, "but what feels the influence of both. In "the renewed nature, the understanding is

enlightened, the affections spiritualized, the “ will inclined to Gop. While in the un"renewed nature still remaining, there is f darkness in the understanding; carnal and