knock and it shall be opened unto you;" but you have been praying long without receiving any anfwer. And, as I gave way to this, the devil gained ground, and I loft it; I thought, as Job fays, that if I prayed and God had answered, yet could I not believe that he had hearkened unto my voice. O how afhamed have I been to think how I have dishonoured God through this damning fin of unbelief. I find, without God, I can do nothing good, no not so much as think a good thought, if it would fave my foul. It is a bleffed thing for me that there is no part of my salvation left for me to work out; if there was it would be all over with me. I have no merit, no worth or worthiness in me, for in my flesh dwelleth no good thing. I think I do know what the plague of the heart is; for, if I got any comfort, I was called by Satan to give an account what promife brought it, for it must be fome particular promife, or else it would not do. So I thought I was not a child of promife, because I had not the promifes brought to me as fome have: but, fince I have fat under you, I have not been much concerned about the word, for the kingdom ftands not in word, but I am fure that I have felt the power.

I came to London laft November, and I was in a very heavy trial when I came, and fo troubled that I could not speak, and fo ill in body that I was troubled even to walk. I had not been long in

town before you preached from this text, "Save thy people, O Lord, and blefs thine inheritance; feed then alfo, and lift them up for ever." You laid, what you aimed at was to bring forth a few sweet things from your text; and, blefled be God, so you did, and fo I found it; it was fweeter than honey, or the honey comb, and I had a feast of fat things. All my doubts were gone, and all my fears removed; all my corruptions and lufts were fubdued; and I felt love, joy, peace, humbleness of mind, and meeknefs, fpring up, and I had a mcek and quiet fpirit givento me, for I had not a doubt of my intercft in Chrift. The fear of death and judgment, hell and damnation, all died away, while the Spirit bore witnefs with my fpirit that I was a child of God. I found what we used to fay at church to be true, that God filleth the hungry with good things, and fendeth the rich empty away. I could thank and blefs God with all my foul for what he had done for `me, and I was very happy for a few weeks, and did fweetly feed on your difcourfes; but, alas! my comforts went away again and troubles came. I felt great doubtings and fearings; my corruptions and lufts got very frong and powerful, and my heart very. hard, and I was both peevith and fretful. If I read the Bible, I was as though I should give God the lie; and, in prayer, as though I should blaspheme and die. I conceived myself to be under a delufion, and that it was presumption I had

got under

you: I fancied the dear Lord had left

me, as he did Saul; and it was fuggefted to me, "Are you fure that your minifter is right, does he really feel what he preaches?' I was in this state for fome weeks, and thought that the workings of thefe evils could not be for my good, or for the glory of God, and was thereby brought very low. Afterwards it pleafed God that you fhould preach from this text, "God is faithful, by whom you were called to the fellowship of his Son, Jefus Christ our Lord." You gave fuch a description of the trial I was in, the temptations I was exercised with, and our being called to the fellowship of Chrift, that it pleased God to own, blefs, and apply the word with power, so that the devil was obliged to be off with his fiery darts, and I went home in fweet peace. Truly, I can fay, God is faithful, and will not forfake the work of his own hands, nor fuffer us to be tempted above that which we are able to bear. By these trials I find out the two principles, the new man and the old; and I would not commit another fin against God, if it was his bleffed will, for all the world; yet I find a principle, that lives in me, that loves fin as well, if not better, than ever it did, and can feast upon nothing else but fin; and the fins that I used to indulge myself the most in, are they which I now find my greatest plagues. Dear Sir, I loft all fear of death when you preached from this text; "When he

fhall come to be glorified in his faints, and admired in all them that believe." The language of my foul was, Come, Lord Jefus, come quickly. You faid there were fome that were waiting for the second appearing of Chrift Jefus; and, bleffed be God, I found myself to be one of that number, though fo vile, that I am not worthy of the leaft of all God's mercies, for I deferve nothing at his hands but everlasting deftruction..

I hate and abhor myself: this I now speak and feel, for God has given me a humble heart; it is the goodness of God that has led me to repentance, and it has led me to God, and not from him. Blefs his moft holy name, I love him because he first loved me, and gave himself for me, the chief of all finners; for my fins have been against light and love. Dear Sir, I fear I fhall weary you, but I love to be speaking of these things when I can, for it is all my delight, and all my happiness; for every thing short of Chrift I count vanity, and it is no more to me than the drop of a bucket.

I was much bleffed when you spoke from thefe words: "Now he which establisheth us with you in Chrift, and hath anointed us, is God, who hath alfo fealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts." O how I was comforted and established! I went home rejoicing in God, having no confidence in the flesh. I found myself firm on the rock, which is Chrift

you.

Jefus; and I believe that you was chofen in him, before the world was, to bring me to Chrift. I love to hear you on the life of the foul, for this is my comfort in my affliction; the word of the Lord hath quickened ine. That little book of yours hath been a blessed book to me, I mean, TheDestruction of Death by the Fountain of Life.' Dear Sir, I am a witness that God fpeaks to the heart of his people by you; Paul may plant, and Apollos may water, but God muft give the increase, for the excellency of power is of God, and not of man. Do excufe, dear Sir, the freedom I take with you; for I think there never was a fon in the flesh that did love a father as I love you in the fpirit, because God is in These words have been fweet to me, when you have faid, 'Chrift in you the hope of glory,' for glory is what I am hoping for; and, instead of being afraid of death, I often wish for it, for I am a ftranger and a pilgrim in this world. I am crucified to the world, and the world to me, and my delight is in the ways of God; he has got my heart, and where my heart is there must my treasure be also. The ever-bleffed God is my portion, and in him do I truft; I only want to enjoy more of his love, but bless him for ever for what I have. There is one thing I cannot fubmit to, and that is for you to die. May the Almighty and ever-bleffed God abundantly bless you, both in soul and body, and give you a door