fhall be willing in the day of thy power," Pfalm cx. 3. And he gave me repentance unto life; "Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He anfwered and faid, I will not; but afterwards repented and went," Matt. xxi. 28, 29.

I was never very daring, bold, or openly profane, nor a loose, wicked liver, as fome are; but have always been what the world calls a steady, moral youth. Yet fome few things I was very fond of, and much charmed with, such as plays, dancing, cards, horfe-races, &c. These were my delight, and I pursued them with great eagerness; but from many of the groffeft vices I was kept, for to me there always appeared fomething in them fo very horrid, that I drew back. I had once two or three companions who ftrove hard to draw me into every impurity, and to harden me in fin; but confcience fo accused me at times that I could not get on, for their evil practices were of the bafer fort, and their conduct fo vile, that I could not join with them; fo I very foon left them altogether; and it is a great mercy I made my efcape, for, had I continued with them, I have no doubt but I fhould foon have become hardened through the deceitfulness of fin; for childhood and youth are vanity, and Paul fays that "Evil communications corrupt good manners,' 1 Cor. xv. 33. However, I went on for fome years in this way, and took as great delight as I could in the things which I have before mentioned, en

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deavouring to make myself happy in them: in this however I failed, for a guilty conscience is a worm that never dies, and I could never get from that: confcience followed me up clofe, and oftentimes, when what I had been engaged in was over, I began to reflect upon what I had been doing, and then felt very wretched; and I never found that fatisfaction which I anticipated before hand in any one vanity that I pursued, there being always fomething deficient. Then I used to look forward to fome expected entertainment, which was to take place, and charm myself with the pleafing idea of enjoying that pleasure which I had not yet attained. But the last, let it be whatever it might, like the preceding one, always failed: fo that, like all other pleasure takers, I had nothing but one continued fucceffion of disappointments, and could find no reft or peace; "The wicked are like the troubled fea," and God is angry with them every day: "There is no peace, faith the Lord, unto the wicked," Ifa. xlviii. 22. But these things have been of use to me; for, having paffed through them, by the observations I have made, I can now clearly see that it is in this way Satan keeps all his subjects alive, and the world in perpetual motion to this day; for it is he that has filled it with vanities of divers forts, fuitable to the depraved defires and corrupt affections of men of every caft; so that, let their vitiated appetites lead them to whatever

they may, they have an opportunity of gratifying their finful defires. I have often confidered these things, and turned them over in my mind; and, by looking both into the profane and profeffing world, I can fee the fcriptures explained; many are deceiving themselves in a falfe profeffion, and others are kept in continual motion by a succesfion of vanities, which are intended to enfnare their fouls; "As the fifhes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the fnare, fo are the fons of men fnared in an evil time," Eccl. ix. 12. I have often thought that, if they who are living in pleasure were deprived of these things, and had nothing of that fort to look forward to, they would fink in their minds, and go down like a moth; for by fuch things they are exhilarated in their fpirits, their fenfual appetites are gratified, their houses are far from fear, and the language of their heart is, "How doth God know, and is there knowledge in the most high?" Not confidering, that if they fin the Lord marketh them, and will not acquit them from their iniquity; but, "because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the fons of men are fully fet in them to do evil," Eccl. viii. 11. These prosper in the world; but how awful will be their end if grace prevent not? "A brutish man knoweth not, neither doth a fool understand this; when the wicked fpring as the grass, and when all the workers of iniquity

do flourish, it is that they fhall be destroyed for ever," Pfalm xcii. 6, 7,

I was brought up to the Church of England, and a very strict attendant on her fervices I was; yet for many years I ignorantly worshipped I knew not what; and one thing used to distress me exceedingly, which was this, I never could stay my mind upon the prayers, fo as to attend to the fervice long together; and oftentimes my thoughts were, like the fool's eyes, wandering to the ends of the earth, and would be on the most trifling, foolish, vain, obscene, and wicked things; much more fo than ever they were at any other time this I could not account for, but was very much troubled about it, and ftrove hard to prevent it. When I was about fourteen years of age feveral places were fought after, to fix me in fome trade; but even in this thing I can see that the way of man is not in himself. Applications were made to different people; but I could not accomplish my purpose. "God hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of our habitation," Acts xvii. 26. The bufinefs I am fixed in was not fought after, but I came to it in an unexpected manner: "A man's heart devifeth his way, but the Lord directeth his fteps," Prov. xvi. 9. I have many times looked back as far as I can remember, and in many things can fee the hand of God towards me for good, and a train of concurring circumftances in his providence, in

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which the Lord has led me about; and I believe the intention of the Moft High in them all has been, that I should be taught and instructed thereby. "Thou shalt remember all the way that the Lord thy God hath led thee," Deut. viii. 2. After I had left home I ftill continued to go to church, where the preaching far exceeded that which I had before been accuftomed to hear. I paid the minifter very great attention; and often resolved, whilst I was hearing the discourse, that I would in future lead a different life. But as foon as the found of the word was out of my ears there was an end to my religion. And for fome years I kept on in this way, refraining from no one vanity which I could take pleasure in, for I was determined, if poffible, to caft off all fear; and at times I ftrove to be very courageous: but ftill what I felt within oftentimes overcame all, and brought me down very low. My convictions were very strong at times, and I felt great remorfe of confcience for what I had done, which caufed me to be very gloomy; and I was often much dejected in my fpirits on account of my fin. Thus I went on for a long time, finning and repenting, repenting and finning. But what I felt within diftreffed me moft; for it appeared to me to be much worse than any outward tranfgreffion I ever committed, I was fo filled with wicked and abominable thoughts; and, although I had never been addicted to profane fwearing in the worst of