I

be utterly vain-endeavored to touch his heart; but hitherto, so far as I know, without effect. have little doubt that he will go through the "dark valley" with his present belief, and that in the day when the secrets of all hearts shall be made known to assembled worlds, it will be found that I have contributed in no small degree to the murder-no, not merely the murder, but the endless suffering of an immortal mind and heart. Great Parent of the Universe, what is man! And how fearfully tremendous are his responsibilities!

The inquiry sometimes arose in my mind, at this period, whether the influence of "improved," or "liberal" opinions had thus far been favorable on my own character. But the question was, almost of course, soon decided in my own favor. Indeed it appeared to me that my progress in knowledge and excellence had never been greater. Nor am I conscious, even now, that there had been, up to this period, any striking departure from correct moral habits,-I mean externally,-except in the points which have been already mentioned.

But there were two reasons why such a result was not to be expected. First, when a person is accused or suspected of holding heretical opinions, he has usually common sense enough to know that one principal means of repelling the

charge is to live down the accusation. Secondly, it generally takes a long time, for even those opinions, whose tendency is the worst, to produce any very marked changes in the character of an individual who has been subjected, from childhood up to years of maturity, to the best of moral influences.

But although my morals had not yet suffered, there was a great change in my religious feelings. Prayer had become altogether formal, and was often neglected. The Bible was seldom opened, unless with a view to investigate some doubtful or disputed point. True, I attended an orthodox church, but it was more for the sake of passing current with the religious world than with a view to real improvement. There was, however, one more prominent reason for attendance. I had acquired the habit of criticising sermons pretty closely, and of finding much in most of them to support my own sentiments. Indeed, I was of opinion, at that time, that I usually derived much more benefit from a discourse which I did not believe, than from any other. And when I regard a sermon merely as an intellectual production, the result to this day, is often the same.

All this while I was an ardent friend of Sunday schools; more, however, for the sake of the intellectual and moral improvement which has hitherto

followed in their train, than with reference to any higher results. But of my connection with these institutions, I shall have occasion to speak at large presently.

By a series of circumstances which it is unnecessary to mention, I had become acquainted by letter with a Unitarian gentleman at a distance, but without knowing at first what his peculiar views were on the subject of religion. He appeared to be a zealous friend of every measure which had for its object the improvement of our race, and as such I did not hesitate to hold correspondence with him. He, too, on the other hand, was pleased with many of my remarks; and forthwith concluded, as he afterwards stated, that I did not belong to the "old school." But he possessed knowledge enough of the human character as well as politeness enough not to obtrude his opinions, and it was sometime before he ventured to introduce the discussion of religious subjects at all. Gradually, however, they came up ; and on many, if not most topics, our opinions were found to harmonize to so great an extent that I was surprised at the coincidence. Books and papers were kindly sent me on subjects relating to improvement, such, for example as temperance, infant and Sunday school instruction, &c.; and

before long, tracts and discourses, which, though they did not embrace the distinctive tenets of "liberal Christianity," had a bearing on the subject. These I received and read with great pleasure.

While on this subject, I wish to observe that so far from supposing that the gentleman alluded to was engaged in a proselyting scheme all this time, I am of opinion, on the contrary, that this formed, at first, no part of his intention; but that his principal object was to oblige a friend and fellowworker in the common cause of humanity, with whom he was so constituted by nature, and fitted by education, as deeply to sympathize. In fact, I have seldom met with a man-among those who make such loud pretensions on this subject—who seemed to me more free from a proselyting spirit.*

At length our religious opinions became mutually understood, and I obtained several tracts and other publications embracing the peculiar sentiments of Unitarians as set forth by the champions of that sect. "Liberal" as I was, however, and boastful of "free inquiry," so strong are the prejudices of education, that I think my feelings would even now have revolted at some of the views therein embraced, had I not been "pre

* See Appendix, note A.

pared" for them. By the views which I had taken of human nature, of sin, and its punishment, I had rendered an infinite Savior unnecessary; and of course was not so much shocked to learn that no infinite atonement had been made! Every man who lived and suffered for his fellow-men, whether his life was cut short by it or not, I had long been accustomed to regard as a Savior to a greater or less number of his fellow-men, because he was a means of removing from the world a portion of its physical and moral evil. It was, on the whole, easy, therefore, to conclude that the Savior of mankind, though he were a created and dependent being, might be the means of ultimately saving so large a share of mankind from their sins, and consequently, from their punishment, as to justify the superiority which is assigned him in the holy scriptures.

I did not, at this time, read the Bible to ascertain what the real facts in the case were, but contented myself with the quotations made by the various writers whose works I perused. Nor do I remember exactly the steps by which I came to conclusions in favor of the sentiments of "liberal Christians;" nor how much time was taken up in the inquiry. This, however, I distinctly recollect, that from the moment I began to read, or