I could not for my heart forbear pitying the poor bump-backed gentleman mentioned in the former paper, who went off a very well shaped person with a stone in his bladder; nor the fine gentleman who had struck up this bargain with him, that limped through a whole assembly of ladies, who used to admire him, with a pair of shoulders peeping over his head.

I must not omit my own particular adventure. My friend with the long visage had no sooner taken upon him my short face, but he made such a grotesque figure in it, that, as I looked upon him, I could not forbear laughing at myself, insomuch that I put my own face out of countenance. The poor gentleman was so sensible of the ridicule, that I found he was ashamed of what he had done. On the other side, I found that I myself had no great reason to triumph, for as I went to touch my forehead, I missed the place, and clapped my finger upon my upper lip. Besides, as my nose was exceeding prominent, I gave it two or three unlucky knocks as I was playing my hand about my face, and aiming at some other part of it. I saw two other gentlemen by me, who were in the same ridiculous circumstances. These had made a foolish swop between a couple of thick bandy legs, and two long trápsticks that had no calves to them. One of these looked like a man walking upon stilts, and was so lifted up into the air above his ordinary height, that his head turned round with it; while the other made such aukward circles, as he attempted to walk, that he scarce knew how to move forward upon his new supporters: observing him to be a pleasant kind of fellow, I stuck my cane in the ground, and told him, I would lay him a bottle of wine, that he did not march up to it on a line, that I drew for him, in a quarter of an hour. Pond Ps 972 ....

The heap was at last distributed among the two sexes, who made a most piteous sight, as they wan

"

dered up and down under the pressure of their several burdens. The whole plain was filled with murmurs and complaints, groans and lamentations. Jupiter at length, taking compassion on the poor mortals, ordered them a second time to lay down their loads, with a design to give every one his own again They discharged themselves with a great deal of pleasure; after which, the phantom, who had led them into such gross delusions, was commanded to disappear. There was sent in her stead a goddess of a quite different figure: her motions were steady and composed, and her aspect serious, but chearful. She every now and then cast her eyes towards heaven, and fixed them upon Jupiter: her name was PATIENCE. She had no sooner placed herself by the mount of sorrows, but, what I thought very remarkable, the whole heap sunk to such a degree, that it did not appear a third part so big as it was before. She afterwards returned every man his own proper calamity, and teaching him how to bear it in the most commodious manner, he marched off with it contentedly, being very well pleased that he had not been left to his own choice, as to the kind of evils which fell to his lot.

ว

Besides the several pieces of morality to be drawn out of this vision, I learnt from it, never to repine at my own misfortunes, or to envy the happiness of another, since it is impossible for any man to form a right judgment of his neighbour's sufferings; for which reason also I have determined never to think too lightly of another's complaints, but to regard the sorrows of my fellow-creatures with sentiments of humanity and compassion.

·Paulatim abolere Sichæum

grueh zel Incipit, et vivo tentat prævertere amore Jampridem resides animos desuetaque corda.`p VARG:1

"SIR,

AM, a tall, broad-shouldered, impudent, black fellow, and, as I thought, every way qualified for a rich widow; but, after having tried my fortune for above three years together, I have not been able to get one single, relict in the mind. My first attacks were generally successful, but always broke off as soon as they came to the word Settlement. Though I have not improved my fortune this way, I have my experience, and have learnt several secrets which may be of use to those unhappy gentlemen, who are commonly distinguished by the name of widowhunters, and who do not know that this tribe of women are, generally speaking, as much upon the catch as themselves. I shall here communicate to you the mysteries of a certain female cabal of this order, who call themselves the Widow-Club. This club consists of nine experienced dames, who take their places once a week round a large oval table....

"I. Mrs. President is a person who has disposed of six husbands, and is now determined to take a. seventh; being of opinion that there is as much virtue in the touch of a seventh husband as of a seventh son. Her comrades are as follow,

"II. Mrs. Snap, who has four jointures, by four different bed-fellows, of four different shires. She is at present upon the point of marriage with a Middlesex man, and is said to have an ambition of extending her possessions through all the counties in England, on this side the Trent.

"III. Mrs. Medlar, who, after two husbands and a gallant, is now wedded to an old gentleman .

of sixty. Upon her making her report to the club after a week's cohabitation, she is still allowed to sit as a widow, and accordingly takes her place at the board.::

"IV The Widow Quick, married within a fort-' night after the death of her last husband. Her weeds have served her thrice, and are still as good

as new.s

"V. Lady Catharine Swallow. She was a widow at eighteen, and has since buried a second husband and two coachmen.

VI The Lady Waddle. She was married in the 15th year of her age to Sir Simon Waddle, Knight, aged threescore and twelve, by whom she had twins nine months after his decease. In the 55th year of her age she was married to James Spindle, Esq. a youth of one-and-twenty, who did not outlive the honey-moon.

VII. Deborah Conquest. The case of this lady is something particular. She is the relict of Sir Samp son Conquest, some time justice of the quorum. Sir Sampson was seven feet high, and two feet in breadth from the tip of one shoulder to the other. He had married three wives, who all of them died in childbed. This terrified the whole sex, who none of them durst venture on Sir Sampson. At length Mrs. Deborah undertook him, and gave so good an account of him, that in three years time she very fairly laid him out, and measured his length upon the ground. This exploit has gained her so great a reputation in the club, that they have added Sir Sampson's three victories to hers, and gave her the merit of a fourth widowhood; and she takes her place accordingly.

"VIII. The Widow Wildfire, relict of Mr. John Wildfire, fox-hunter, who broke his neck over a sixbar gate. She took his death so much to heart, that it was thought it would have put an end to her life, had she not diverted her sorrows by receiving the addresses of a gentleman in the neighbourhood,

who made love to her in the second month of her widowhood. This gentleman was discarded insa. fortnight for the sake of a young Templar, who had the possession of her for six weeks after, till he was f beaten out by a broken officer, who likewise gave up his place to a gentleman at court. The courtier was as short-lived a favourite as his predecessors; but had the pleasure to see himself succeeded by a long series of lovers, who followed the Widow Wildfire to the 37th year of her age, at which time there ensued a cessation of ten years, when John Felt, Haberdasher, took it in his head to be in love with her, and it is thought will very suddenly carry her off.

"IX. The last is pretty Mrs. Runnet, who broke her first husband's heart before she was sixteen, at which time she was entered of the club; but soon after left it, upon account of a second, whom she made so quick a dispatch of, that she returned to her seat in less than a twelvemonth. This young matron is looked upon as the most rising member of the society, and will probably be in the president's chair before she dies.

"These ladies, upon their first institution, resolved to give the pictures of their deceased hus- | bands to the club-room; but two of them bringing b in their dead at full length, they covered all the I walls; upon which they came to a second resolu tion, that every matron should give her own picture, i and set it round with her husbands in miniature.

"As they have most of them the misfortune toni be troubled with the cholic, they have a noble cellar of cordials and strong waters. When they grow wr maudlin, they are very apt to commemorate their former partners with a tear. But ask them which of their husbands they condole, they are not able to i tell you, and discover plainly that they do not weep; so much for the loss of a husband, as for the want of one.