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heartily, though, upon examination, I thought most of them very flat and insipid.
4. I found, after some time, that the merit of his .wit" was founded upon the shaking of a fat paunch, and the tossing up of a pair of rosy jowls. Poor Dick had a fit of sickness, which robbed him of his fat and his fame at once; and it was full three months before he regained j^s reputation, which rose in proportion to his floridity. He is now very jolly and ingenious, and hath a good constitution for wit.
5. Those who are thus adorned with the gifts of nature are apt to show their parts with "too much ostentation. 1 would therefore advise all the professors of this art never to tell stories but as they seem to grow out of the subject-matter of the conversation, or as they serve to illustrate or enliven it. Stories that are very common are generally irksome; but may be aptly introduced, provided they be only hinted at and mentioned by way of allusion.
6. Those that are altogether new should never be ushered in without a short and pertinent character of the chief persons concerned, because, by that means, you may make the company acquainted with them; and it is a certain rule, that slight and trivial accounts of those who are familiar to us administer more mirth than the brightest points of wit in unknown characters:
7. A little circumstance, in the complexion or dress of the man you are talking of, sets his image before the hearer, if it be chosen aptly for the story. Thus, I remember Tom Lizard, after having made his sisters merry with an account of a formal old man's way of complimenting, owned, very frankly, that his story would not have been worth one farthing, if he had made the hat of him whom he represented one inch narrower.
8. Besides the marking distinct characters, and selecting pertinent circumstances, it is likewise necessary to leave off in time, and end smartly; so that there is a kind of drama in the forming of a story; and the manner of conducting and pointing it is the same as in an epigram. It is a miserable thing, after one hath raised the expectation of the company by humorous characters and a pretty conceit, to pursue the matter too far. There is no retreating; and how poor is it for a story-teller to end his relation by saying, "That's all!"
,y\ tESSON XXXV.
Will Waddle. — Colman.
1. Who has e'er been in London, that overgrown place,
Will Waddle, whose temper was studious and lonely,
2. He entered his rooms, and to bed he retreated,
Next night't was the same; and the next, and the next;
3. In six months his acquaintance began much to doubt him; For his skin " like a lady's loose gown " hung about him;
He sent for a doctor, and cried like a ninny;
"I have lost many pounds — make me well — there's a guinea"
The doctor looked wise ; "A slow fever," he said;
Prescribed sudorifics and going to bed.
"Sudorifics in bed," exclaimed Will, " are humbugs!
I 've enough of them there without paying for drugs!"
4. Will kicked out the doctor ; but when ill indeed, E'en dismissing the doctor don't always succeed;
So, calling his host, he said, "Sir, do you know,
I'm the fat single gentleman six months ago?
Look 'e, landlord, I think," argued Will with a grin,
"That with honest intentions you first took me in:
But from the first night — and to say it I'm bold —
I've been so hanged hot, that I'm sure I caught cold."
5. Quoth the landlord, "Till now, I ne'er had a dispute; I've let lodgings ten years ; I'm a baker to boot;
In airing your sheets, sir, my wife is no sloven;
And your bed is immediately over my oven." m
"The oven !" says Will. Says the host, " Why this passion?
In that excellent bed died three people of fashion.
Why so crusty, good sir ?" — " Zounds !" cries Will, in a taking,
"Who would n't be crusty, with half a year's baking?"
6. Will paid for his rooms ; cried the host, with a sneer, "Well, I see you've been going away half a year." —
"Friend, we can't well agree ; yet no quarrel," Will said; "But I'd rather not perish while you make your bread." . LESSON XXXVI.
Omniscience and Omnipresence of God. — Addison.*
1. We shall utterly extinguish the melancholy thought of our being overlooked by our Maker, in the multiplicity of his works and the infinity of those objects among which he seems to be incessantly employed, if we consider, in the first place, that he is omnipresent; and, in the second, that he is omniscient. If we consider him in his omnipres- . ence, his being passes through, actuates and supports, the whole frame of nature.
'2. His creation, and every part of it, is full of him. There is nothing he has made that is either so distant, so little, or so inconsiderable, which he does not essentially inhabit. His
material or immaterial, and as intimately present to it as that being is to itself.
3. It would be an imperfection in him were he able to remove out of one place into another, or to withdraw himself from anything he has created, or from any part of that space which is diffused and spread abroad to infinity. In short, to speak of him in the language of the old philosopher, "He is a being whose center is everywhere, and his circumference nowhere."
4. In the second place, he is omniscient as well as omnipresent. His omniscience, indeed, necessarily and naturally flows from his omnipresence; he cannot but be conscious of every motion that arises in the whole material world, which he thus essentially pervades; and of every thought that is stirring in the intellectual world, to every part of which he is thus intimately united.
5. Several moralists have considered the creation as the temple of God, which he has built with his own hands, and wrftch is filled with his presence. Others have considered infinite space as the receptacle, or rather the habitation, of the Almighty. But the noblest and most exalted way of considering this infinite space is that of Sir Isaac Newton, who calls it the sensoriwm^ of the Godhead*
* This elegant writer was born in 1672, and died in 1719. Dr. Johnson says : — " Whoever wishes to attain an English style, familiar but not coarse, and elegant but not ostentatious, must give his days and nights to the volumes of Addison."
t The seat of sense and perception. Sensoriola is the diminutive plural of the same word, — that is, the little seats of sense and perception.
substance is within the substance
6. Brutes and men have their sensoriola, ox little sensoriums, by which they apprehend the presence and perceive the actions of a few objects that lie contiguous to them. Their knowledge and observation turn within a very narrow circle. But as God Almighty cannot but perceive and know everything in which he resides, infinite space gives room to infinite knowledge, and is, as it were, an organ to omniscience.
7. Were the soul separate from the body, and with one glance of thought should start beyond the bounds of the creation, — should it for millions of years continue its progress through infinite space with the same activity, — it would still find itself within the embrace of its Creator, and encompassed round with the immensity of the Godhead.
8. While we are in the body, he is not less present with us, because he is concealed from us. "O that I knew where I might find him !" says Job. "Behold I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him; on the left hand where he does work, but I cannot behold him; he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him." In short, reason as well as revelation assures us that he cannot be absent from us, notwithstanding he is undiscovered by us.
9. In this consideration of God Almighty's omnipresence and omniscience, every uncomfortable thought vanishes. He cannot but regard everything that has being, especially such of his creatures who fear they are not regarded by him.
10. He is privy to all their thoughts, and to that anxiety of heart, in particular, which is apt to trouble them on this occasion; for, as it is impossible he should overlook any of his creatures, so we may be confident that he regards with an eye of mercy those who endeavor to recommend themselves to his notice, and in an unfeigned humility of heart think themselves unworthy that he should be mindful of them.
1. Yk sons of Columbia, who bravely have fought For those rights, which unstained from your sires had descended,
* This song, under the name of "Adams and Liberty," was written during the presidency of the elder Mr. Adams, and the poet realized seven hundred and fifty dollars from it. The sentiments which it con
May you long taste the blessings your valor has bought,
With the glory of Rome, and the wisdom of Greece;
2. In a clime whose rich vales feed the marts of the world,
3. The fame of our arms, of our laws the mild sway,
4. While France her huge limbs bathes recumbent in Wood,
5. 'T is the fire of the flint each American warms:
6. Our mountains are crowned with imperial oak, Whose roots, like our liberties, ages have nourished; But long ere our nation submits to the yoke,
Not a tree shall be left on the field where it flourished.
From the hill-tops they shaded, our shores to defend
7. Let our patriots destroy Anarch's pestilent worm, Lest our liberty's growth should be checked by corrosion; rhen let clouds thicken round us; we heed not the storm; Our realm fears no shock, but the earth's own explosion.
tains entitle it to preservation, — at least, until a better national anthem shall appear.