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Such a man's condition, since the scripture saith, "No murderer hath eternal life," &c. but that it must be concluded, that such a one is gone to hell? He was a murderer, a selfmurderer; and he is the worst murderer, one that slays his own body and soul: Nor do we find mention made of any but cursed ones that do such kind of deeds: I say, no mention made in holy writ of any others, but such that murder themselves.
And this is a sore judgment of God upon men, when God shall for the sins of such give them up to be their own executioners, or rather to execute his judgment and anger upon themselves. And let me earnestly give this caution to sinners. Take heed, Sirs, break off your sins, lest God serve you as he served Mr Badman's brother, that is, lest he give you up to be your own murderers.
Atten. Now you talk of this; I did once know a man, a barber, that took his own razor, and cut his own throat, and then put his head out of his chamber-window, to shew the neighbours what he had done, and after a little while died.
Wise. I can tell you a more dreadful thing than this; I mean as to the manner of doing the fact. There was about twelve years since, a man that lived at lirafield by Northampton, named John Cox, that murdered himself; the manner of his doing of it was thus. He was a poor man, and had for some time been sick (and the time of his sickness was about the beginning of hay-time) and taking too many thoughts how he should live afterwards, if he lost his present season of work, he fell into deep despair about the world, and cried out to his wife the morning before he killed himself, saying, We are undone. But quickly after, he desired his wife to depart the room, because said he, I will see if I can get any rest; so she went out; but he, instead of sleeping, quickly took his razor, and therewith cut up a great hole in his side, out of which he pulled and cut off some of his bowels, and threw them, with the blood, up and down the chamber. But this not speeding of him so soon as he desired, he took the same razor and therewith cut his own throat. His wife then hearing of him sigh, and fetch his wind short, came again into the room to him; and seeing what he had done, she ran out and called in some neighbours, who came to him where he lay in a bloody manner, frightful to behold. Then said one of them to him, Ah ! John, what have you done? Are you not sorry for what you have done? He answered roughly, it is too late to be sorry. Then said the same person to him again, Ah! John, pray to God to forgive this bloody act of thine. At the hearing of which exhortation, he seemed much offended, and in an angry manner said, Pray! and with that flung himself away to the wall, and so after a few gasps died desperately. When he had turned him off his back to the wall, the blood ran out of his belly as out of
a bowl, and soaked quite through the bed to the boards, and through the chinks of the boards it ran pouring down to the ground. Some said, that when the neighbours came to see him, he lay groping with his hand in his bowels, reaching upward, as was thought, that he might have pulled or cut out his heart. It was said also, that some of his liver had been by him torn out and cast upon the boards, and that many of his bowels hung out of the bed on the side thereof; but I cannot confirm all particulars: but the general of the story, with these circumstances above mentioned, is true. I had it from a sober and credible person, who himself was one that saw him in this bloody state, and that talked with him, as was hinted before.
Many other such dreadful things might be told you, but these are enough, and too many too, if God in his wisdom had thought necessary to prevent them.
Atten. This is a dreadful story: And I would to God that it might be a warning to others to instruct them to fear before God, and pray, lest he gives them up to do as'Joiin Cox hath done. For surely self-murderers cannot go to heaven; and therefore, as you have said, he that d.ieth by his own hands, is certainly gone to hell. But speak a word or two of the other man you mentioned.
Wise. What! of a wicked man dying in despair?
Alten. Yes, of a wicked man dying in despair.
Wise. Well then: This Mr Badman's other brother was a very wicked man, both in heart and life; I say in heart, because he was so in life; nor could any thing reclaim him; neither good men, good books, good examples, nor God's judgments. Well, after he had lived a great while in his sins, God smote him with a sickness of which he died. Now, in his sickness, his conscience began to be awakened, and he began to roar out of his ill-spent life, insomuch that the town began to ring of him. Now, when it was noised about, many of the neighbours came to see him, and to read by him, as is the common way with some; but all that they could do, could not abate his terror, but he would lie in his bed gnashing of his teeth, and wringing of his wrists, concluding upon the damnation of his soul, and in that horror and despair he died; net calling upon God, but distrusting in his mercy, and blaspheming of his name.
Atten. This brings to my mind a man that a friend of mine told me of. He had been a wicked liver; so when he came to die, he fell into despair; and having concluded that God had no mercy for him, he addressed himself to the devil for favour, saying, Good devil, be good unto me.
\.. Wise. This is almost like Saul, who being forsaken of God, went to the witch of Endor, and so to the devil, for help, But alas, should I set myself to collect these dreadful stories, it would be easy in a little time to present you with hundreds of them. But I will conclude as I began; they that are their own murderers, or that die in despair, after they have lived a life of wickedness, do surely go to hell.
And here I would put in a caution: Every one that dieth under consternation of spirit, that is, under amazement and great fear, do not therefore die in despair; for a good man may have this for his bands in his death, and yet go to heaven and glory. For, as I said before, he that is a good man, a man that hath faith and holiness, a lover, and worshipper of God by Christ, according to his word, may die in consternation of spirit; for Satan will not be wanting to assault good men upon their death bed, but they are secured by the word and power of God; yea, and are also helped though with much agony of spirit, to exercise themselves in faith and prayer, the which he that dieth in despair can by no means do. But let us return to Mr Badman, and enter into further discourse of the manner of his death.
Atten. I think you and I are both of a mind ; for just now I was thinking to call you. back to him also. And pray, now, since it is your own motion to return again to him, let us discourse a little more of his quiet and still death.
Wise. With all my heart: You know we were speaking before of the manner of Mr