SIR, I Am afraid there is fomething in the fufpicions of σε fome people, that you begin to be fhort of matter for your Lucubrations. Though feveral of them now "and then did appear somewhat dull and infipid to me,' "I was always charitably inclined to believe the fault' "lay in myself, and that I wanted the true key to de"cypher your myfteries; and remember your advertise"ment upon this account. But fince I have feen you "fall into an unpardonable error, yea, with a relapfe; "I mean, fince I have feen you turn politician in the prefent unhappy diffenfions, I have begun to stagger, "and could not chufe but leffen the great value I had "for the Cenfor of our ifle. How is it poffible that a "man, whom intereft did naturally lead to a conftant impartiality in thefe matters, and who hath wit enough to judge that his opinion was not like to make many profelytes; how is it poffible, I fay, that a little paf"fion, for I have still too good an opinion of you to "think you was bribed by the staggering party, could "blind you so far as to offend the very better half of "the nation, and to leffen off fo much the number of "your friends? Mr. Morphew will not have caufe to "thank you, unless you give over, and endeavour to re- : gain what you have loft. There are still a great many -themes you have left untouched: Such as the ill ma- ¡ "nagement of matters relating to law and phyfic; the "fetting down rules for knowing the quacks in both "profeflions. What a large field is there left in difco-t "vering the abufes of the college, who had a charter 66 and privileges granted them to hinder the creeping in "and prevailing of quacks and pretenders; and yet grant licences to barbers, and write Letters of recom❤ "mendation in the country towns, out of the reach of "their practice, in favour of mere boys; valuing the health and lives of their countrymen no farther than f "they get money by them. You have faid very little or nothing about the difpenfation of juftice in town "and country, where clerks are the counsellors to their "mafters. "But No 1951 "But as I cannot expect that the Cenfor of GreatBritain fhould publish a Letter, wherein he is cen"fured with too much reafon himself; yet I hope you "will be the better for it, and think upon the themes › I have mentioned, which muft certainly be of greater fervice to the world, yourself, and Mr. Mor pher, than to let us know whether you are oɗ: Whig v or a Tory. Iam ftill Your admirer and fervant, 1 ? 1910 Cato Junior. This Gentleman and I differ about the words, ftag gering and better part; but instead of answering to the particulars of this Epiftle, I fhall only acquaint my correfpondent, that I am at prefent forming my thoughts upon the foundation of Sir Scudamore's progrefs in SpenJer, which has led me from all other amusements, to confider the state of Love in this ifland; and from the Corruptions in the government of that, to deduce the chief evils of life. In the mean time that I am thus employed, I have given pofitive orders to Don Salters of Chelsea the tooth-drawer, and Doctor Thomas Smith the corn-cutter of King-street, Westminster, who have the modefty to confine their pretenfions to manual operations, to bring me in, with all convenient speed, complete lifts of all who are but of equal learning with themfelves, and yet adminifter phyfic beyond the feet and gems. These advices I fhall referve for my future leifure; but have now taken a resolution to dedicate the remaining part of this inftant July to the fervice of the fair Sex, and have almost finished a fcheme for fettling the whole remainder of that Sex who are unmarried, and above the age of twenty-five. In order to this good and public fervice, I fhall confider the paffion of Love in its full extent, as it is attended both with joys and inquietudes; and lay down, for the conduct of my Lovers, fuch rules as fhall banish the.. cares, and heighten the pleafures, which flow from that. amiable fpring of life and happiness. There is no less than than an abfolute neceffity, that fome provifion be made to take off the dead stock of women in city, town, and country. Let there happen but the leaft diforder in the Atreets, and in an inftant you fee the inequality of the numbers of males and females. Befides that the feminine crowd on fuch occafions is more numerous in the open way, you may obferve them alfo to the very gar rets huddled together, four at least at a casement. Add to this, that by an exact calculation of all that have come to town by ftage-coach or waggon for this twelvemonth laft, three times in four the treated perfons have been males. This over-stock of beauty, for which there are fo few bidders, calls for an immediate fupply of Lovers and husbands; and I am the studious Knight-errant, who have fuffered long nocturnal contemplations to find out methods for the relief of all British females, who at prefent feem to be devoted to involuntary virginity. The fcheme, upon which I defign to act, I have communicated to none but a beauteous young Lady, who has for fome time left the town, in the following Letter. te rr MADAM, To AMANDA in Kent. Send, with this, my difcourfe of ways and means for encouraging marriage, and repeopling the inland. You will foon obferve, that according to thefe rules, the mean confiderations, which make beauty and merit ceafe to be the objects of love and courtship, will be fully exploded. I have unanfwerably proved, that jointures and fettlements are the "bane of happiness; and not only fo, but the ruin even "of their fortunes who enter into them. I beg of you 46 therefore to come to town upon the receipt of this, "where I promise you, you fhall have as many Lovers as toasters; for there needed nothing but to make mens interefts fall in with their inclinations, to render you the most courted of your Sex. As many as "love you will now be willing to marry you: Haßlen then, and be the honourable mittrefs of mankind. VOL. IV. "Caffander, Caffander, and many others, ftand in The gate of good defert to receive you. I am, Madam, your most obedient, moft humble fervant, ISAAC BICKER STAFF. N° 196. Tuesday, July 11, 1710. Dulcis inexperto cultura potentis amici, Expertus metuit HOR. Ep. 18. lib. 2. ver. 86. Untry'd, how fweet a court attendance! TH FRANCIS. From my own Apartment, July 10. HE intended courfe of my ftudies was altered this evening by a visit from an old acquaintance, who complained to me, mentioning one upon whom he had ag depended, that he found his labour and perfeverence in his Patron's fervice and interefts wholly ineffectual; and he thought now, after his beft years were spent na profeffed adherence to him and his fortunes, he Should in the end be forced to break with him, and give over all further expectations from him. He fighed, and ended his difcourfe, by faying, You, Mr. Cenfor, fome time ago, gave us your thoughts of the behaviour of great men to their creditors. This fort of demand upon them, for what they invite men to expect, is a debt of honour; which, according to custom, they ought to be moft moft careful of paying, and would be a very worthy fubje&t for a Lucubration. Of all men living, I think, I am the most proper to treat of this matter; becaufe in the charact and employment of Cenfor, I have had encouragemen fo infinitely above my defert, that what I fay cannot poffibly be fuppofed to arife from peevifhnefs, or any difappoin ment in that kind, which I myself have met with. When we confider Patrons and their Clients, those who receive addrefles, and those who are addreffed to, it must not be understood that the dependants are fuch as are worthiels in their natures, abandoned to any vice or dishonour, or fuch as without a call thrust themselves upon men in power; nor when we fay Patrons, do we mean fuch as have it not in their power, or have no obligation to affit their friends; but we fpeak of fuch leagues where there are power and obligation on the one part, and merit and expectation on the other. Were we to be very particular on this fubject, I take it, that the divifion of Patron and Client may include a third part of your na tion. The want of merit and real worth will ftrike out about ninety-nine in the hundred of thefe; and want of ability in the Patron will dispose of as many of that or der. He, who out of mere vanity to be applied to, will take up another's time and fortune in his fervice, where he has no profpect of returning it, is as much more unjuft, as those who took up my friend the Upholder's goods without paying him for them; I fay, he is as much more unjuft, as our life and time is more valuable than our goods and moveables. Among many whom you fee about the Great, there is a contented well pleased fet, who feem to like the attendance for its own fake, and are early at the abodes of the powerful, out of mere fashion. This fort of vanity is as well grounded, as if a man should lay afide his own plain fuit, and dress himself up in a gay livery of another. There are many of this fpecies who exclude others of just expectation, and make thofe proper Dependants appear impatient, becaufe they are not fo chearful as thofe who expect nothing. I have made ufe of the penny poít for the inftruction of thefe voluntary flaves, and informed them, that they will never be provided for; but they double C.2 |