241 a certain prudence in this and all other circumftances which makes right or wrong in the conduct of ordinary life. Sir Feoffrey Wildacre has nothing so much at heart as that his fon fhould know the world betimes: For this end he introduces him among the fots of his own age, where the boy learns to laugh at his father from the familiarity with which he fees him treated by his equals. This the old fellow calls living well with his heir, and teaching him to be too much his friend to be impatient for his eftate. But for the more exact regulation of fociety, in this and other matters, I fhall publish tables of the characters and relations among men, and by them inftruct the town in making fets and companies for a bottle. This humour of Sir Jeoffrey thall be taken notice of in the firit place; for there is, methinks, a fort of inceft in drunkenness, and fons are not to behold fathers ftripped of all reverence. It is fhocking in Nature for the young, to fee those whom they should have an awe for in circumstances of contempt. I fhall therefore utterly forbid, that thofe whom Nature fhould admonish to avoid too grofs familiarities, fhall be received into parties of pleasure where there is the least danger of excefs. I fhould run through the whole doctrine of drinking, but that my thoughts are at present too much employed in the modelling my "Court of Honour," and altering the feats, benches, bar, and canopy from that of the Court wherein I, laft winter, fat upon caufes of lefs moment. By the way, I fhall take an opportunity to examine, what method is to be taken to make joiners and other artificers get out of a house they have once entered; not forgetting to tie them under proper regulations. It is for want of fuch rules that I have, a day or two longer than I expected, been tormented and deafened with hammers; infomuch that I neither can pursue this difcourfe, nor answer the following, and many other Letters of the higheft importance. વ Mr. BICKER STAFF, W E are man and wife, and have a boy and a girl; the lad feventeen, the maiden fixteen. "We are quarrelling about fome parts of their educaVOL. IV. M ❝tion. "tion. I Ralph cannot bear that I must pay for the "girl's learning on the fpinnet, when I know the has "no ear. I Bridget have not patience to have my fon whipped because he cannot make verfes, when I know "he is a blockhead. Pray, Sir, inform us, is it abfo"lutely neceffary that all who wear breeches must be "taught to rhyme, all in petticoats to touch an in"ftrument? Pleafe to interpofe in this and the like "cafes, to end much folid diftrefs which arises from "trifling causes, as it is common in wedlock, and you "will very much oblige us and ours, N° 253. Tuesday, November 21, 1710. ·Pietate gravem ac meritis fi fortè virum quem Confpexere, filent, arrectifque auribus aftant. VIRG. En. 1. ver. 155. If then fome grave and pious man appear, From my own Apartment, November 20. Extract of the Journal of the Court of Honour, 1710. Dia lune vicefimo Novembris, borâ nonâ autemeridiana. T HE Court being fat, an oath prepared by the Cenfor was adminiftered to the affiftants on his right-hand, who were all fworn upon their Honour. The women on his left hand took the fame oath upon their Reputation. Twelve Gentlemen of the horseguards were impanelled, being unanimously chofen Mr. Mr. Alexander Truncheon, who is their right-hand man in the troop, for their foreman in the Jury. Mr. Truncheon immediately drew his fword, and holding it with the point towards his own body, prefented it to the Cenfor. Mr. Bickerstaff received it; and after having furveyed the breadth of the blade, and fharpness of the point, with more than ordinary attention, returned it to the foreman in a very graceful manner. The reft of the Jury, upon the delivery of the fword to their foreman, drew all of them together as one man, and faluted the Bench with fuch an air, as fignified the most refigned fubmiffion to those who commanded them, and the greatest magnanimity to execute what they fhould command. Mr. Bickerstaff, after having received the compliments on his right-hand, caft his eye upon the left, where the whole female Jury paid their refpects by a low courtesy, and by laying their hands upon their mouths. Their forewoman was a profeffed Platonift, that had spent much of her time in exhorting the Sex to fet a juft value upon their perfons, and to make the men know themfelves. There followed a profound filence, when at length, after fome recollection, the Cenfor, who continued hitherto uncovered, put on his hat with great dignity; and, after having compofed the brims of it in a manner fuitable to the gravity of his character, he gave the following charge; which was received with filence and attention, that being the only applaufe which he admits of, or is ever given in his prefence. "The nature of my office, and the folemnity of this "occafion, requiring that I fhould open my firft feffion "with a fpeech, I fhall caft what I have to fay under two principal heads. ་་ "Under the first, I fhall endeavour to fhew the neceffity and usefulness of this new erected Court; and "under the fecond, I fhall give a word of advice and inftruction to every conftituent part of it. "As for the first, it is well obferved by Phadrus, an "heathen Poet; Nifi utile eft quod facimus, fruftra eft gloria. "Which is the fame, Ladies, as if I fhould fay, It "would be of no reputation to me to be President of a "Court, which is of no benefit to the Public. Now "the advantages that may arife to the Weal-public from this inftitution will more plainly appear, if we con"fider what it fuffers, for the want of it. Are not our "ftreets daily filled with wild pieces of juftice, and "random penalties? are not crimes undetermined, and reparations difproportioned? How often have we feen "the lye punished by death, and the liar himself deciding his own caufe ? nay, not only acting the Judge, "but the Executioner? Have we not known a box on "the ear more feverely accounted for than manflaugh"ter? In these extrajudicial proceedings of mankind, "an unmannerly jeft is frequently as capital as a premeditated murder. 66 66 "But the most pernicious circumftance in this cafe is, "that the man who fuffers the injury must put himself upon the fame foot of danger with him that gave it, "before he can have his juft revenge; fo that the pu"nifhment is altogether accidental, and may fall as well "upon the innocent as the guilty. I fhall only mention a cafe which happens frequently. "among the more polite nations of the world, and which "I the rather mention, becaufe both Sexes are concern"ed in it, and which therefore you Gentlemen, and you Ladies of the Jury, will the rather take notice of; I mean that great and known cafe of cuckoldom. Suppofing the perfon who has fuffered infults in his "dearer and better half; fuppofing, I fay, this perfon "fhould refent the injuries done to his tender wife, what is the reparation he may expect? Why, to be afed "worfe than his poor Lady, run through the body, and left breathlefs upon the bed of Honour. What then, "will you on my right-hand fay, must the man do that “is affronted? Muft our fides be elbowed, our shins "broken? Muft the wall, or perhaps our mistress, be "taken from us? May a man knit his forehead into a frown, tofs up his arm, or pifh at what we fay, and "muft the villain live after it? Is there no redress for injured Honour? Yes, Gentlemen, that is the defign "of the judicature we have here established. "A "A Court of Confcience, we very well know, was "first inflituted for the determining of feveral points of property, that were too little and trivial for the cognizance of higher Courts of juftice. In the fame manner, our Court of Honour is appointed for the "examination of feveral niceties and punctilio's, that do not pafs for wrongs in the eye of our common laws. But notwithstanding no Legiflators of any na "tion have taken into confideration thefe little circum"ftances, they are fuch as often lead to crimes big enough for their infpection, though they come before "them too late for their redrefs. Befides, I appeal to you, Ladies," (Here Mr. Bickerstaff turned to his left-hand) "If these are not the little ftings and thorns in life, “that makes it more uneafy than its molt fubflantial "evils? Confefs ingenuously, did you never lofe a morning's devotions, because you could not offer them 66 up from the highest place of the pew? Have you not "been in pain, even at a Ball, because another has "been taken out to dance before you? Do you love any of your friends fo much as thofe that are below 66 you Or have you any favourites that walk on your right-hand? You have anfwered me in your looks; "I afk no more. 66 "I come now to the fecond part of my difcourfe, "which obliges me to addrefs myfelf in particular to "the refpective Members of the Court, in which I fhall be very brief. 66 "As for you Gentlemen and Ladies, my affiitants and Grand Juries, I have made choice of you on my right-hand, because I know you very jealous of your "Honour; and you on my left, becaufe I know you very much concerned for the reputation of others for which reafon I expect great exactnefs and imparti ality in your verdicts and judgments. "I muft in the next place addrefs myfelf to you, Gentlemen of the Council: You all know, that I have not chofe you for your knowledge in the litigious parts of the law; but because you have all of you "formerly fought duels, of which I have reafon to think you have repented, as being now fettled in the "peaceable M 3 |