Brentford, where they were to be met by the Lady's own chariot, the criminal and another of his acquaintance travelled with them in the fame coach, at which time the prisoner talked bawdy for the space of three miles and a half. The profecutor alledged, That over-against the Old-Fox at Knights-Bridge, he mentioned the word Linen: That at the further end of Kensington he made use of the term Smock; and that before he came to Hammerfmith, he talked almost a quarter of an hour upon Wedding-fhifts. The profecutor's woman confirmed what her Lady had said, and added further, that she had never feen her Lady in fo great a confufion, and in fuch a taking, as fhe was during the whole difcourfe of the criminal. The prifoner had little to fay for himself, but that he talked only in his own trade, and meant no hurt by what he faid. The Jury however found him guilty, and reprefented by their forewoman, that fuch difcourfes were apt to fully the imagination, and that by a concatenation of ideas, the word Linen implied many things, that were not proper to be ftirred up in the mind of a woman who was of the profecutor's Quality, and therefore gave it as their verdict, that the Linen-draper fhould lofe his tongue. Mr. Bickerstaff faid, he thought the profecutor's ears were as much to blame as the prifoner's tongue, and therefore gave fentence as follows: That they thould both be placed over-against one another in the midst of the Court, there to remain for the fpace of one quarter of an hour, during which time the Linen-draper was to be gagged, and the Lady to hold her hands close upon both her ears; which was executed accordingly. Edward Callicoat was indicted as an accomplice to Charles Cambrick, for that he the faid Edward Callicoat did, by his filence and fmiles, feem to approve and abet the faid Charles Cambrick, in every thing he said. It appeared, that the prifoner was foreman of the fhop to the aforefaid Charles Cambrick, and, by his poft, obliged to smile at every thing that the other should be pleased to fay; Upon which he was acquitted. Jofiah Shallow was indicted in the name of Dame Winifred, fole relict of Richard Dainty, Efquire, for having faid feveral times in company, and in the hear N 4 ing ing of feveral perfons there prefent, that he was extremely obliged to the widow Dainty, and that he should never be able fufficiently to exprefs his gratitude. The profecutor urged, that this might blaft her reputation, and that it was in effect a boating of favours which he had never received. The prifoner feemed to be much aftonifhed at the construction which was put upon his words, and faid, that he meant nothing by them, bot that the widow had befriended him in a lease, and was very kind to his younger fifter. The Jury finding him a little weak in his understanding, without going out of the Court, brought in their verdi&t Ignoramus. Urfula Goodenough was accufed by the Lady Betty Wou'dbe, for having faid, that she the Lady Betty Wou'dbe was painted. The prifoner brought feveral perfons of good credit to witnefs to her reputation, and proved by undeniable evidences, that. fhe was never at the place where the words were faid to have been uttered. The Cenfor, obferving the behaviour of the profecutor, found reason to believe, that she had indicted the prifon-er for no other reafon, but to make her complexion be taken notice of; which indeed was very fresh and beautiful: He therefore afked the offender with a very stera voice, how he could prefume to fpread fo ground lefs a réport? And whether the faw any colours in the Lady Wou'dbe's face that could produce credit to fuch a falfehood? Do you fee, fays he, any lilies or rofes in her cheeks, any bloom, any probability The profecutor not able to bear fuch language any longer told him, that he talked like a blind old fool, and that she was afhamed to have entertained any opinion of his wisdom : But she was foon put to filence, and fentenced to wear her mask for five months, and not to prefume to fhew her face until the town fhould be empty. Benjamin Buzzard, Efquire, was indicted for having told the Lady Everbloom at a public Ball, that he looked very well for a woman of her years. The prifoner not denying the fact, and perfifting before the Court that he looked upon it as a compliment, the Jury brought him in Non compos mentis. ** inftant." "The Court then adjourned to Monday the eleventh Copia vera, Charles Lillie. N° 260. Thursday, December 7, 1710. Non cuicunque datum eft habere nafum. MART The nofe, 'tis faid, fhows both our fcorn and pride: And yet that feature is to fome deny’d. R. WYNNE. From my own Apartment, December 6. WE have a very learned and elaborate differtation upon thumbs in Montaign's Effays, and another upon ears in the Tale of a Tub." I am here going to write one upon Nofes, having chofen for my text the following verfes out of Hudibras. So learned Taliacotius from The brawny part of porter's bum Notwithstanding that there is nothing obfcene in natural knowledge, and that I intend to give as little offence as may be to readers of a well-bred imagination; I muft, for my own quiet, defire the Critics, who in all things have been famous for good Nofes, to refrain from the lecture of this curious Tract. Thefe Gentlemen were formerly marked out and diftinguished by the little rhinocerical N. 5 No 200 rhinocerical Nofe, which was always looked upon as an inftrument of derifion; and which they were ufed to cock, tofs, or draw up in a contemptuous manner, upon reading the works of their ingenious contemporaries. It is not therefore for this generation of men that I write the present tranfaction, -Minùs aptus acutis- -Unfit For the brisk petulance of modern wit. FRANCIS but for the fake of fome of my philofophical friends in the Royal Society, who perufe difcourfes of this nature with a becoming gravity, and a defire of improving by them. Many are the opinions of learned men concerning the rife of that fatal distemper, which has always taken a particular pleasure in venting its fpight upon the Nose.. I have feen a little burlefque poem in Italian, that gives a very pleasant account of this matter. The fable of it runs thus; Mars the god of war, having served during the fiege of Naples in the fhape of a French Colonel, received a vifit one night from Venus the goddess of love, who had been always his profeffed miftrefs and admirer. The Poem fays, fhe came to him in the difguife of a fut tling wench, with a bottle of brandy under her arm. Let that be as it will, he managed matters fo well, that fhe went away big-bellied, and was at length brought to bed of a little Cupid. This boy, whether it was by reafon of any bad food that his father had eaten during the fiege, or of any particular malignity in the ftars that reigned at his nativity, came into the world with a very fickly look, and crazy conftitution. As foon as he was able to handle his bow, he made difcoveries of a moft perverfe difpofition. He dipped all his arrows in poison, that rotted every thing they touched; and what was more particular, aimed all his fhafts at the Nofe, quite contrary to the practice of his elder brothers, who had made a human heart their butt in all countries and ages. To break him of this roguish trick, his parents put him to fchool to Mercury, who did all he could to hinder him from demolishing the Nofes of mankind; but in fpight of education, the boy continued very unlucky; and though his malice was a little foftened by good inftructions, he would very frequently let fly an invenomed arrow, and wound his votaries oftener in the Nose than in the heart. Thus far the fable. I need not tell my learned reader, that Correggio has drawn a Cupid taking his leffon from Mercury, conformable to this poem; nor that the poem itself was defigned as a burlesque upon Fracaftorius. It was a little after this fatal fiege of Naples, that Taliacotius began to practife in a town of Germany. He was the firft Clap-doctor that I meet with in history, and a greater man in his age than our celebrated Doctor Wall. He faw his fpecies extremely mutilated and diffigured by this new diftemper that was crept into it; and therefore, in purfuance of a very feasonable invention, fet up a manufacture of Nofes; having first got a patent that none fhould prefume to make Noles, befides himself. His firft patient was a great man of Portugal, who had done good services to his country, but in the midst of them unfortunately loft his Nofe. Taliacotius grafted a new one on the remaining part of the griftle or cartilaginous fubftance, which would fneeze, fmell, take fnuff, pronounce the letters M or N, and in fhort, do all the functions of a genuine and natural Nofe. There was however one misfortune' in this experiment: The Portuguefe's complexion was a little upon the fubfufc, with very black eyes and dark eye-brows; and the Nofe being taken from a porter that had a white German skin, and cut out of thofe parts that are not exposed to the fun, it was very visible that the features of his face were not fellows. In a word, the Comde refembled one of those maimed antique ftatues that has often a modern Nose of fresh marble glewed to a face of fuch a yellow, ivory complexion, as nothing can give but age. To remedy this particular for the future, the Doctor got together a great collection of porters, men of all complexions, black, fair, brown, dark, fallow, pale, and ruddy; fo N 6 that |