produce any more confufions in public affemblies, never to bow to any body whom he did not at the fame time call to by his name. Oliver Bluff and Benjamin Browbeat were indicted for going to fight a duel fince the erection of " The Court "of Honour." It appeared, That they were both taken up in the ftreet as they paffed by the Court, in their way to the fields behind Montague-boufe. The criminals would anfwer nothing for themfelves, but that they were going to execute a challenge, which had been made above a week before the "Court of Honour" was erected. The Cenfor finding fome reafon to fufpect, by the sturdiness of their behaviour, that they were not fo very brave as they would have the Court believe them, ordered them to be fearched by the Grand Jury, who ound a breast-plate upon the one, and two quires of paper upon the other. The breaft-plate was immediately ordered to be hung upon a peg over Mr. Bickerfaff” tribunal, and the paper to be laid upon the table for the fe of his clerk. He then ordered the criminals to buton up their bofoms, and, if they pleased, proceed to heir duel. Upon which they both went very quietly ut of the Court, and retired to their respective lodg ings. "The court then adjourned until after the holidays." Copia vera, Charles Lillie. Thursday, N° 266. Thursday, December 21, 1710. Rideat & pulfet lafciva defcentiùs atas. HOR. Ep. 2. lib. z. ver. ult Let youth, more decent in their follies, fcoff I From my own Apartment, November 20. Twould be a good Appendix to " The Art of Liv "ing and Dying," if any one would write " The Art of growing Old," and teach men to refign their pretenfions to the pleasures and gallantries of youth, in proportion to the alteration they find in themfelves by the approach of age and infirmities. The infirmities of this ftage of life would be much fewer, if we did not affect those which attend the more vigorous and active: part of our days; but instead of studying to be wifer,. or being contented with our prefent follies, the ambition: of many of us is alfo to be the fame fort of fools we for-merly have been.. I have often argued, as I am a profeffed Lover of women, that our Sex. grows old with a much worse grace than the other does; and have ever been of opinion, that there are more well pleafed oldi women, than old men. I thought it a good reason for this, that the ambition of the Fair Sex being confined to advantageous marriages, or fhining in the eyes of men, their parts were over fooner, and confequently the errors in the performance of them. The converfation of this evening has not convinced me of the contrary;; for one or two Fop-women shall not make a balance for the crouds of Coxcombs among ourselves, diverfified according to the different purfuits of pleasure and business. Returning I. No 266. Returning home this evening a little before my ufual hour, I fcarce had feated myself in my eafy chair, ftirred the fire, and froked my cat, but I heard fome body come rumbling up stairs. I faw my door opened, and a hu man figure advancing towards me, fo fantastically put. together, that it was fome minutes before I difcovered it to be my old and intimate friend Sam Trufty. Imme. diately I rofe up, and placed him in my own feat; a compliment I pay to few. The first thing he uttered was, Ifaac, fetch me a cup of your cherry-brandy, before you offer to afk any question. He drank a lusty draught; fat filent for fome time, and at last broke out; I am come, quoth he, to infult thee for an old fantastic dotard, as thou art, in ever defending the women. have this evening vifited two widows, who are now in that ftate I have often heard you call an After-life;' I fuppofe you mean by it, an existence which grows out of past entertainments, and is an untimely delight in the fatisfactions, which they once fet their hearts upon too much to be ever able to relinquifh. Have but patience, continued he, until I give you a fuccinct ac-. Count of my Ladies, and of this night's adventure. They are much of an age, but very different in their characters: The one of them, with all the advances which years have made upon her, goes on in a certain romantic road of love and friendship which the fell into in her teens; the other has transferred the amorous pafSons of her firft years to the love of cronies, petts, and favourites, with which he is always furrounded; but the genius of each of them will beft appear by, the account of what happened to me at their houfes. About five this afternoon, being tired with fludy, the weather inviting, and time lying a little upon my hands, I refolved, at the inftigation of my evil Genius, to vifit them; their husbands having been our contemporaries.. This I thought I could do without much trouble; for both live in the very next ftreet. I went first to my Lady Camomile, and the Butler, who had lived long in the family, and feen me often in his mafter's time, athered me very civilly into the parlour, and told me, though my Lady had given ftrict orders to be denied, he was fure I might be admitted, and bid the black boy acquaint 5. acquaint his Lady, that I was come to wait upon her. In the window lay two Letters, one broke open, the other fresh fealed with a wafer: The firft directed to the Divine Cofmelia, the fecond to the charming Lucinda; but both, by the indented characters, appeared to have been writ by very unfteady hands. Such uncommon addreffes increafed my curiofity, and put me upon afking my old friend the Butler, if he knew who thofe perfons were? Very well, fays he: This is from Mrs. Furbih to my Lady, an old fchool-fellow and great crony of her Ladyfhip's; and this the answer. I enquired in what county the lived. Oh dear! fays he, but just by in the neighbourhood. Why, fhe was here all this morning, and that Letter came and was anfwered within thefe two hours. They have taken an odd fancy, you! must know, to call one another hard names; but for all that, they love one another hugely. By this time the boy returned with his Lady's humble fervice to me, defiring I would excufe her; for he could not poffibly fee me, nor any body elfe, for it was opera-night. Methinks, fays I, fuch innocent folly, as two old! women's courtship to each other, fhould rather make you merry, than put you out of humour. Peace, good Ifaac, fays he, no interruption I befeech you. I got foon to Mrs. Feeble's, the that was formerly Betty Frifk; you i muft needs remember her; Tom Feeble of Brazen Nofe fell in love with her for her fine dancing. Well, Mrs. Urfula, without further ceremony, carries me directly up to her mistress's chamber, where I found her environed by four of the most most mischievous animals that can infeft a family; an old fhock dog with one eye, a monkey chained to one fide of the chimney, a great grey fquirrel to the other, and a parrot waddling in the middle of the room. However, for a while, all was in a profound tranquillity. Upon the mantle-tree, for I am a pretty curious obferver, ftood a pot of lambetive electuary, with a tick of liquorifh, and near it a phial of rofewater and powder of tutty. Upon the table lay a pipe-filled with betony and colt's-foot, a roll of wax candle, a filver fpitting pot, and a Seville orange. The Lady was placed in a large wicker chair, and her feet wrapped up in flannel, and fupported by cushions; and in this. attitude No 266 attitude, would you believe it, Ifaac, fhe was reading a Romance with fpectacles on. The first compliments over, as he was induftriously endeavouring to enter upon conversation, a violent fit of coughing feized her. This awaked Shock, and in a trice the whole room was in an uproar; for the dog barked, the fquirrel fquealed, the monkey chattered, the parrot fcreamed, and Ursula, to appease them, was more clamorous than all the reft. You, Ifaac, who know how any harsh noise affects my head, may guess what I fuffered from the hideous din of thefe difcordant founds. At length all was appeased, and quiet restored: A chair was drawn for me; where I was no fooner feated, but the parrot fixed his horny beak, as sharp as a pair of fheers, in one of my heels, juft above the fhoe. I fprung from the place with an unufual agility, and fo being within the monkey's reach, he fnatches off my new bob wig, and throws it upon two apples that were roafting by a fullen fea-coal fire. I was nimble enough to fave it from any further damage than finging the foretop. I put it on; and compofing myfelf as well as I could, I drew my chair towards the other fide of the chimney. The good Lady, as foon as The had recovered breath, employed it in making a thoufand apologies, and with great eloquence, and a numerous train of words, lamented my misfortune. In the middle of her harangue, I felt fomething fcratching near my knee, and feeling what it fhould be, found the fquir rel had got into my coat pocket. As I endeavoured to ,remove him from his burrow, he made his teeth meet through the fleshy part of my fore-finger. This gave me an unexpreffible pain. The Hungary water was immediately brought to bathe it, and gold-beaters fkin applied to stop the blood. The Lady renewed her excufes; but being now out of all patience, I abruptly took my leave, and hobbling down ftairs with heedlefs hafte, I' fet my foot full in a pail of water, and down we came to the bottom together. Here my friend concluded his narrative, and, with a compofed countenance, I began to make him compliments of condolence; but he started from his chair, and faid, Ifaac, you, may fpare your peeches, I expect no reply: When I told you this, I knew |