So cold, that, put it in the fire,

"Twill make the very flames expire:
Befides, it fpues a filthy froth
(Whether thro' rage, or luft, or both)
Of matter purulent and white,
Which happening on the fkin to light,
And there corrupting to a wound,
Spreads leprofy and baldnefs round.

So have I feen a batter'd beau,

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55

By age and claps grown cold as fnow,

Whose breath or touch, where-e'er he came,

Blew out love's torch, or chill'd the flame:

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And should some nymph who ne'er was cruel,

Like Charleton cheap, or fam'd Du-Ruel,

Receive the filth which he ejects,

She foon would find the fame effects
Her tainted carcafe to pursue,
As from the falamander's fpue ;
A difmal fhedding of her locks,
And, if no leprosy, a pox.

Then I'll appeal to each by-flander,"
If this be not a falamander?

* The

ERE

ELEPHANT,

Or, The PARLIAMENT-MAN.

Written many years fince.

Taken from Coke's Institutes.

RE bribes convince you whom to chufe,
The precepts of Lord Coke perufe.

Obferve an elephant, fays he,

And let like him your member be:

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70

First, take a man that's free from gall;

For elephants have none at all:
In flocks or parties he must keep;
For elephants live juft like fheep:
Stubborn in honour he muft be;
For elephants ne'er bend the knee:
Laft, let his memory be found,
In which your elephant's profound;
That old examples from the wife
May prompt him in his No's and Ay's..
THUS the Lord Coke hath gravely writ,
In all the form of lawyer's wit;
And then with Latin, and all that,

Shews the comparison is pat.

YET in fome points my Lord is wrong: One's teeth are fold, and t'other's

tongue :

Now men of parliament, God knows,

Are more like elephants of shows,

Whofe docile memory and fenfe
Are turn'd to trick, to gather pence.

To get

their mafters half a crown,

They spread their flag, or lay it down;

Those who bore bulwarks on their backs,

And guarded nations from attacks,
Now practise ev'ry pliant gefture,
Op'ning their trunk for ev'ry tefter.
Siam, for elephants fo fam'd,
Is not with England to be nam'd:
Their elephants by men are fold:
Ours fell themselves, and take the gold.

H3

25

30.

An

An ELEGY on the supposed death of PARTRIDGE, the almanack-maker*.

7ELL; 'tis as Bickerstaff has gueft,

WE

Tho' we all took it for a jeft;
Partridge is dead; nay more, he dy'd,

Ere he could prove the good 'Squire ly'd.
Strange, an aftrologer fhould die
Without one wonder in the sky!
Not one of all his crony stars
To pay their duty at his herfe!
No meteor, no eclipse appear'd !
No comet with a flaming beard!
The fun has rofe, and gone to bed,
Juft as if Partridge were not dead;
Nor hid himself behind the moon,
To make a dreadful night at noon.
He at fit periods walks thro' Aries,
Howe'er our earthly motion varies ;
And twice a year he'll cut th' equator,
As if there had been no fuch matter.
SOME wits have wonder'd what analogy
There is 'twixt cobling and aftrology;
How Partridge made his optics rife
From a fhoe-fole to reach the skies.

A lift the cobler's temples ties,
To keep the hair out of his eyes;
From whence 'tis plain, the diadem
That Princes wear derives from them:
And therefore crowns are now-a-days
Adorn'd with golden ftars and rays ;

* See an account of his death, which Partridge averred to be falfe, and Bickerstaff defended as true, vol. ii.

† Partridge was a cobler,

Which plainly fhews the near alliance

"Twixt cobling and the planets science.

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BESIDES, that flow pac'd fign Bootes, As 'tis mifcall'd, we know not who 'tis : But Partridge ended all disputes;

He knew his trade, and call'd it * boots.
THE borned moon which heretofore

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Upon their shoes the Romans wore,
Whose wideness kept their toes from corns,
And whence we claim our shoeing horns,
Shews how the art of cobling bears
A near resemblance to the spheres.

A fcrap of parchment hung by geometry

(A great refinement in barometry)
Can, like the stars, foretell the weather;
And what is parchment else but leather?

Which an aftrologer might ufe
Eeither for almanacks or shoes.

THUS Partridge by his wit and parts,
At once did practise both these arts:
And as the boading owl (or rather
The bat, because her wings are leather}
Steals from her private cell by night,
And flies about the candle-light;
So learned Partridge could as well
Creep in the dark from leathern cell,
And in his fancy fly as far,

To peep upon a twinkling ftar.

BESIDES, he could confound the spheres,

And fet the planets by the ears;

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5.0

55

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When Philip King of Greece was dead,
His foul and Spirit did divide,

And each part took a diff'rent fide:

One rose a star; the other fell
Beneath, and mended fhoes in hell.
THUS Partridge ftill fhines in each art,
The cobling and star-gazing part,
And is inftall'd as good a star

As

any of the Cæfars are. Triumphant ftar! fome pity fhow On coblers militant below,

Whom roguish boys in ftormy nights
Torment by pilling out their lights,
Or thro' a chink convey their fmoke
Inclos'd artificers to choke.

THOU, high exalted in thy sphere,
May'ft follow ftill thy calling there :
To thee the Bull will lend his hide,
By Phoebus newly tann'd and dry'd :
For thee thy Argo's hulk will tax,
And scrape her pitchy fides for wax :
Then Ariadne kindly lends

Her braided hair to make thee ends:
The point of Sagittarius' dart
Turns to an awl by heav'nly art;
And Vulcan, wheedled by his wife,
Will forge for thee a paring knife.
For want of room by Virgo's fide,
She'll ftrain a point, and fit* aftride,
To take thee kindly in between;
And then the figns will be thirteen.

-Tibi brachia contrahet ingens
Scorpius, &c.