EXPLANATION OF THE CROSS.

281

The letter C in the centre of the cross is the commencement of the sentences: upwards that letter begins CRUX MIHI CERTA SALUS; downwards, CRUX EST QUAM SEMPER ADORO; to the left, CRUX DOMINI MECUM; to the right, CRUX

MIHI REFUGIUM.

LETTER XXXVIII.

Rome, September 17, 1821.

ONCE more we are the inhabitants of our apart ments in the Palazzo Sciarra, our present earthly. home : but still we ought to be strangers and pilgrims, for on, earth " we have no abiding city!" Our once cheerful dwelling has assumed a very mournful appearance; in every room there seems a blank, but the greatest blank of all is in our hearts. No-this place is not, cannot, be our home. Here we must not take up our rest, but prepare for more trials by clinging more closely to Jesus Christ; in our outward calamities and in our inward conflicts, He is the overshadowing rock.

.

October 6. You will wonder to hear, that I have spirits again to visit palaces or churches; and that I can give any account of them. The children have no companion but me; and I often devise plans to amuse them, when my thoughts are far away from things and places which I take them to

282 PRISON OF ST. PETER AND ST. PAUL,

see. This evening Richard was sent on a message to the Piazza Rondini, and returned full of a dread ful occurrence which had just taken place there A woman leaning on her husband's arm, suddenly drew a stiletto from her girdle, and struck him through the throat with such desperation that he instantly expired. An aggravation of her guilt, if such a crime admits of aggravation, is, that about six weeks ago, this wretched being owed her release from perpetual banishment to the man whom she so barbarously murdered. The laws here do not condemn a woman to death, be her crime what it may; perpetual banishment is the severest: punishment inflicted; and even that may be reversed if any man will offer to take her for a wife, which was the case in the instance just related.

October 10. We have been in the prison of St. Peter and St. Paul, to which we descended by a flight of stairs. Of course, there are miraculous legends about a place so important. In the centre of the floor is a well; which, they tell you, opened of itself at the command of St. Peter, to enable him to baptize the new converts which were brought to him. On re-ascending the narrow staircase our cicerone made us observe a square slab of indented marble enclosed in a wooden frame in the wall. "Look," he said, "where the face of St. Peter struck against the stone, and left that impression." I remember the dear child who is gone telling me of this miraculous stone, and re

PROTESTANT BURYING GROUND 283

marking," As if the stone had been placed there on purpose for the Apostle to knock his head against, being the only one to be seen in the wall."

October 13. The custode, who lives near the pyramid of Caius Cestius, came here with the intelligence that Cardinal Gonsalvi had been inspect ing the tombs of the Protestants, and taken such umbrage at seeing a few trees round some of them, that he had indignantly ordered that they should be dug up immediately. The man, knowing how much my sister would be grieved at having six cypress trees removed, which had been planted to overshadow the tombs of her beloved husband and child, in pity for her feelings feigned himself ill, that he might have a pretext for delaying the exe cution of the mandate. To watch the progress of the growth of these trees had afforded my poor sister a melancholy pleasure; and this order for their removal seemed to renew all her sorrows, and distract her thoughts. She formed many plans, but adopted none. At length it was suggested that Baron R, whose feelings were equally interested to prevent the desecration of this sacred spot, (for he too was a mourning parent, having seen his darling daughter's remains deposited near those of her beloved companion and friend, our own Anny,) should be requested to apply to the Cardinal. This little girl fell a victim to malaria fever, one of the many warnings to parents, not to

284 NEGOCIATION WITH CARDINAL GONSALVI.

expose their growing family to the enervating influence of an Italian sun.

October 14. We heard from Baron R that his negociation with Cardinal Gonsalvi has been so far successful, as to allow the few trees which have been planted to remain, but not one is to be added, nor will he consent to the enclosure of the burying-ground; for which many applications have been made again recently, by the English and German Protestants, but they need not hope that this slight indulgence will be granted during the life of this prejudiced man, by whom the Pope is rendered a mere cypher.

October 15. My sister was this day prevailed on by Lady W., from whom, in this time of our affliction, we have met with many instances of sympathetic kindness, to take a drive in her carriage to that spot which she knew most interested her feelings. They sat among the tombs at the pyramid of Caius Cestius for a considerable time.

October 17. Again the chastisement of the Lord is upon us; again our sorrows seem to multiply. My sister has been seized with shivering and every symptom of fever.

October 19. Dr. Clarke appears alarmed, and has called in the Italian physician; her stomach retains nothing, not even the medicine prescribed. At times she is very delirious. In the middle of the day the fever rose, and towards morning increased to a frightful degree, attended with strong

ILLNESS OF LADY S

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delirium. I asked Dr. Clarke for his candid opia nion; he told me that he would not deceive me that her case was bad, and that her life hung upon a thread. Lady W. made the kindest offers to sit up with her but the doctor has given the most positive orders, that no one should be admitted but those whom she is in the habit of seeing, and whose attentions are indispensable.

f Sunday morning. Last night the fever was at the crisis, this morning it is considerably abated, and bark has been given.

Monday and Tuesday. She takes bark regularly, and is considerably better.

Wednesday, October 24. My sister is pronounced out of danger, and this day is, indeed, a day of praise to God, whose mercy has again given back the mother to her children. For seven days her life has been in jeopardy, but the Lord has turned aside the arrow of death. During those days I fear I gave way to sinful despondency. Waves and storms seemed to blacken around, but mercy's bright beams have rolled them all away. Again the prospect is cheering. Again I see that the end of all will be peace. God will be our guide, and "conduct us through life's pilgrimage safe to our journey's end.". Why, then, oh my soul, art thou ever cast down, and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise Him who is the health of my countenance and my God." These trials are the Lord's mes