"As for us in Pekin".

-here a devil of a din

From the bed-chamber came, where that long Mandarin,
C-STL-R-GH (whom FUM calls the Confusius of prose),
Was rehearsing a speech upon Europe's repose
To the deep, double-bass of the fat idol's nose!

(Nota bene.-His lordship and L-V-RP-L come,
In collateral lines, from the old Mother HUM,-
C-STL-R-GH A HUM-bug-L-v-RP-L a HUM-drum.)
The speech being finish'd, out rush'd C-STL-R-GH,
Saddled Hum in a hurry, and whip, spur, away!
Through the regions of air, like a Snip on his hobby,
Ne'er paused till he lighted in St. Stephen's lobby.

EPISTLE FROM TOM CRIB TO BIG BEN,

Concerning some foul play in a late Transaction.*

"Ahi, mio Ben!"-METASTASIO.+

WHAT! BEN, my old hero, is this your renown?
Is this the new go?-kick a man when he's down!
When the foe has knock'd under, to tread on him then—
By the fist of my father, I blush for thee, BEN!
"Foul! foul!" all the lads of the fancy exclaim—
CHARLEY SHOCK is electrified-BELCHER spits flame—
And MOLYNEUX-ay, even BLACKY cries "Shame!"
Time was, when JOHN BULL little difference spied
"Twixt the foe at his feet and the friend at his side;
When he found (such his humour in fighting and eating)
His foe, like his beef-steak, the sweeter for beating-
But this comes, Master BEN, of your cursed foreign no-
tions,

Your trinkets, wigs, thingumbobs, gold lace, and lotions;

* Written soon after B**n*p*rte's transportation to St. Helena.

+ Tom, I suppose, was "assisted" to this motto by Mr. Jackson, who, it is well known, keeps the most learned company going.

Your noyaus, curaçoas, and the devil knows what(One swig of Blue Ruin is worth the whole lot!)— Your great and small crosses-(my eyes, what a brood! A cross-buttock from me would do some of them good!) Which have spoil'd you, till hardly a drop, my old porpoise,

Of pure English claret is left in your corpus;

And (as JIM says) the only one trick, good or bad,
Of the fancy you're up to, is fibbing, my lad!
Hence it comes,-BOXIANA, disgrace to thy page!-
Having floor'd, by good luck, the first swell of the age,
Having conquer'd the prime one, that mill'd us all round,
You kick'd him, old BEN, as he gasp'd on the ground!
Ay-just at the time to show spunk, if you'd got any-
Kick'd him, and jaw'd him, and lagg'd† him to Botany!
Oh, shade of the Cheesemonger!§ you who, alas!
Doubled up, by the dozen, those Mounseers in brass,
On that great day of milling, when blood lay in lakes,
When Kings held the bottle and Europe the stakes,
Look down upon BEN-see him dunghill all o'er,
Insult the fallen foe that can harm him no more;

+ Transported.

* Gin. SA Life-Guardsman, one of the Fancy, who distinguished himself, and was killed in the memorable set-to at Waterloo.

Out, cowardly spooney!-again and again,
By the fist of my father, I blush for thee, BEN.

To show the white feather is many men's doom,

But, what of one feather?-BEN shows a whole Plume.

TO LADY HOLLAND,

On Napoleon's Legacy of a Snuff-Box.

GIFT of the Hero, on his dying day,

To her, whose pity watch'd, for ever nigh; Oh! could he see the proud, the happy ray, This relic lights up on her generous eye, Sighing, he'd feel how easy 'tis to pay

A friendship all his kingdoms could not buy.

Paris, July, 1821.

CORRESPONDENCE

Between a Lady and Gentleman, upon the Advantage of (what is called) "having Law on one's Side."

"LEGGE AUREA,

S' ei piace, ei lice."

THE GENTLEMAN'S PROPOSAL.

COME, fly to these arms, nor let beauties so bloomy

To one frigid owner be tied;

Your prudes may revile, and your old ones look gloomy, But, dearest! we've Law on our side.

Oh! think the delight of two lovers congenial,

Whom no dull decorums divide;

Their error how sweet, and their raptures how venial, When once they've got Law on their side!

'Tis a thing that in every King's reign has been done,

too :

Then why should it now be decried?

If the Father has done it, why shouldn't the Son too? For so argues Law on our side!