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express will and pleasure is, that there be some speedy course taken for the suppressing of the same, and the authors thereof severely punished, and Pomfret Castle allotted unto them for their abode, until our will and pleasure be further known, and this our design be effected: Of which fail you not, as you tender our royal favour, the success of this our design, and your own safety. Farewel.
Antonio Furioso Diabelo, Principalio Secretario.
Consider this, and mark the substance well,
A true Copy of the Petition, which was, by the Lords, presented unto the
King at York, September the Twelfth, 1640.
To the King's most Excellent Majesty.
The humble Petition of your Majesty's most loyal Subjects, whose names
are hereunder subscribed, in the Behalf of themselves and divers others.
Most GRACIOUS SOYEREIGN,
THE sense of that duty we owe to God's sacred Majesty, and our nearest affection to the good and welfare of this your realm of England, have moved us, in all humility, to beseech your royal majesty to give us leave to offer to your princely wisdom the apprehension, which we, and others your faithful subjects, have conceived of the great disteinper and danger now threatening this church and state, and your royal
person, and of the fittest means to remove and prevent the same. The evils and dangers, whereof your Majesty may be pleased to take notice of, are these : That your Majesty's sacred person is exposed to hazard and danger, in this present expedition against the Scotish army; and that, by occasion of this war, your Majesty's revenues are much wasted, your subjects burdened with cote and conduct-money, billeting of soldiers, and other military charges; and divers rapines and disorders committed, in several parts of this your realm, by the soldiers raised for that service; and the whole realm full of fears and discontentments.
The sundry innovations in matters of religion; the oath of canons lately imposed upon the clergy, and others of your Majesty's subjects; the great increase of popery, and employing of popish recusants; and others ill affected unto religion are established in places of power
and trust, especially in commanding of men and arms, both in the field, and in sundry other counties of this your realın; which by the laws they are not permitted to have any arms in their own houses, mischief that
upon this kingdom, if the intențion, which hath been credibly reported, of the bringing in of Irish and foreign forces should take effect; the heavy charge of merchants, to the great discouragement of trade; the multitude of monopolies, and other patents, whereby the commodities and manufactures of this kingdom are much burdened, to the great and universal grievances of your people, the great grief of your subjects, with the long intermission of parliaments, and the late and former dissolving of such as have been called, without the happy effects, which otherwise they might have produced. For remedy whereof, and prevention of the danger that may ensue to your royal person and the whole state, they do in all humility and faithfulness beseech your Majesty, That you will be pleased to summon a parliament in some short and convenient time, whereby the causes of those and other great grievances, which your people suffer under, may be taken away, and the authors and counsellors of them may be brought to such legal trial, and condign punishment, as the nature of their offences shall require; and that the present war may be composed, by your Majesty's wisdom, without bloodshed, in such a manner as may conduce to the honour of your Majesty's person and safety, the comfort of your people, and uniting of both the realms against the common enemies of the reformed religion,
And your Majesty's Petitioners shall, &c,
The names of such earls and barons, as subscribed this petition, viz. Earls Bedford, Hertford, Essex, Mulgrave, Warwick, Bullingbroke, Rutland, Lincoln, and Exeter. Viscounts : Lord Say and Seal, Mandifield, Brooke, Hertford, North, Willoughby, Saville, Wharton, Lovelace, and Saint John.
Articles of Agreement, made, concluded, and done, this Twenty-eighth of
September, in the year of grace 1641, and of the World 5682, by and between the High and Mighty Prince, Lucifer, King of Styx and Phlegethon, the Holy and most Superstitious Primate of the
Roman Church, the Cardinals, Bishops, Jesuits, Priests, and Seminaries, of the one Party; and Judge Bribery, Lawyer Corruption, Attorney Contention, Sollicitor Sedition, Justice Connivance, Jailor Oppression, and State Negligence, of the other Party, in Manner and Form following:
IT is this day mutually agreed, by and between the several parties above named, that there shall be a league offensive and defensive concluded and confirmed by both parties, at or before Holy-rood day next ensuing the date hereof.
Item, That, whereas there hath been lately, by the subtle practices of some parliamentary reformists, a discord and dissension raised between the state ecclesiastick and the state of the inns of court, whereby there hath happened no small prejudice unto the ecclesiastick state; the like whereof is to be doubted may also fall upon the state of the inns of court, and so, consequently, upon the crown and dignity of our Sovereign Lord, King Lucifer: It is, therefore, mutually agreed, that all former controversies and contentions between both parties shall cease, and that all unity, peace, and concord shall be embraced, on either side, according to the expressions in the precedent article, to the honour of our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, his crown and dignity.
Item, It is agreed, That the said state of the inns of court, and the state ecclesiastick aforesaid, shall jointly and severally use the uttermost of their strength, power, and policy, to resist and suppress all such proceedings of this present parliament, which shall any way tend to the reformation and suppression of oppression, extortion, bribery, contention, and tradition : and that they shall and will, with all their might, power, and policy, endeavour, and strive to broach, advance, and maintain all the said several impieties again, to the honour of our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, his crown and dignity.
Item, It is agreed by and between our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, and the whole state ecclesiastick, of the one part, and Judge Bribery, That forthwith, upon the dissolution of this present parliament, he the said Judge Bribery is then again to put in practice the taking of bribes, passing of false judgment, and maintaining his false and corrupt sentences, and decrees, to be things sacred and infallible; oppressing the innocent by close imprisonment, and also favouring all jesuits, priests, and seminaries, if any of them happen by the instruments of justice to be laid hold on; animating and instructing all attornies, sollicitors, and clerks, for and to the sowing of strife and
contention amongst the people of the land, to the honour of our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, his crown and dignity.
Item, It is agreed by and between our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, and Lawyer Corruption, that he the said Lawyer Corruption shall, notwithstanding any parliamentary reformation, still persist in taking fees, both of plaintiff and defendant, nor shall ever bring any honest cause to its period, until he hath, in fees, devoured the whole substance, both of plaintiff and defendant; neither shall he the said Lawyer Corruption, ever, at any time, give any true and prevalent advice to any his clients, but shall delude and delay them until he hath drained them as aforesaid, to the utter ruin of them, their wives and children, to the honour of our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, and the propagation of his crown and dignity. To their own present, rich impiety, and assured successful perdition.
Item, It is agreed and concluded, by and between our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, and Attorney Contention, that he the said Attorney Contention shall and will, at all times, in all places, and upon all occasions, use his best diligence, to sow debate, strife, variance, and contention amongst the people of the land, without exception of persons ; yea,
he shall not omit to set the father against the son, and the son against the father; as also one brother against the other, to the utter ruin of their estates, houses, and families; to that end, he shall dispose of himself and all his imps, into all the the quarters and several corners of the kingdom ; neither shall there be any market-town, or place of habitation, but he shall seat himself there, to the intent and purpose aforesaid, to the honour of our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, his crown and dignity, and to the advancement of the said science of iniquity.
Item, It is agreed by and between our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, and Sollicitor Sedition, that he the said Sollicitor Sedition shall and will, at all times, use his best endeavour to stir up, animate, and encourage all people of what condition, degree, and profession soever, unto suits in the law; and that he the said Sollicitor Sedition shall and will prove faithful unto all lawyers and attornies, and shall and will be slow in the prosecution of any man's cause whatsoever, and spin out the thread thereof to its full length, especially in the courts of equity, by multiplicity of begetting orders, and by not omitting to have this clause inserted into every of his orders, viz. unless cause be shewed to the contrary, at the next court day by the defendant; as also by falsifying of orders through the corrupting of registers, and corrupting of council in an honest cause, by deceiving his clients through false and unjust bills of charges, by bribing the judges of the several courts, and the masters of the Chancery, richly, to the honour of our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, his crown and dignity, and the eternal damnation of Sollicitor Sedition.
Item, It is agreed and concluded in perpetuum, between our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, and Jailor Oppression, that, whereas, through the rigour of the law, many poor Christian souls are committed unto his keeping and safe custody for sundry causes, and sometimes for no just cause at all, he the said Jailor Oppression shall and will, bv himself, his clerks and servants, be void of all mercy and compassion towards them, and shall and will, as much as in him lieth, endeavour to work the utter ruin of the estates and lives of all such as shall be committed to his custody; and, to that end, he the said Jailor Oppression shall, nor will not be slack, in giving bribes, otherwise stiled newyear's gifts, yearly unto all the judges of the courts of justice, for and towards the better encouragement and animation of them, to the commitment of all such to prison as are or shall be brought before them on the least occasion; and that he the said Jailor Oppression shall be ever ready to yield his daily attendance on the judges in their courts, thereby to stir them up to be mindful of him to that effect; and lastly, it is agreed and concluded, that he, the said Jailor Oppression, shall and will, by himself and his servants, set such snares and gins for all those committed to his custody, that they, being once intrapped within his prison-doors, shall never find the way out, during the continuance of their lives, or of their estates, at least, to the honour of . our Sovereign Lord: King Lucifer, his crown and dignity, and to the eternal perdition of Jailor Oppression.
Item, It is agreed by and between our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, and Justice Connivance, that he the said Justice Connivance shall not, nor will have any regard or respect to the justness of any poor man's cause, nor shall ever incline his ear to any his just complaints, but shall and will ever connive and bear with the oppressor, defrauder, and deceiver; and that he, the said Justice Connivance, shall and will ever prefer the value of a goose, a pig, a capon, a brace of partridges, a good fat sheep, a boar at Christmas, or a letter from a friend, written in favour of Sir Oppressor, Mr. Defrauder, and Dick Deceiver, far before justice itself, or the justness of any honest man's cause whatsoever; nor that he, the said Justice Connivance, shall ever execute justice in any poor man's cause, but, on the contrary, he shall oppress them, and have his mittimusses ready written by his clerk, Mr. Double Fees, for the speedy commitment of them to prison; neither shall he ever incline his ear to hear their just complaints against the several golden persons of worship aforesaid, to the honour of our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, his crown and dignity, and the benefit of Jailor Oppression.
Item, It is agreed by and between our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, and State Negligence, that he, the said State Negligence, shall ever prefer his own peace and present benefit, before the welfare and future prosperity of his king and country; and also, that he, the said State Negligence, shall not, at any time, take notice of the illegal proceedings in any of the courts of justice, nor shall addict himself, or ever endeavour to suppress, nor prevent, by any good or wholsome laws, the practice of tyranny, oppression, injustice, extortion, bribery, contention, idolatry, and the like, but shall and will solely addict himself unto the pastimes of hunting, hawking, gaming, and whoring, and the utter rejection of the present and future benefit and welfare of his native country, to the honour of our Sovereign Lord King Lucifer, the prosperity of his religious vicegerent, and the peace and tranquillity of all his servants the jesuits, priests, seminaries, and Roman Catholicks of England.