for our medical men, who know better than most men the absurdity of all this, do just the same to us in their own hospitable houses, and then blow us up for it afterwards-mere finger-posts that they be! Well, it is rather hard, too! He A chat about fat people, and we have done. "Fat people," the doctor tells us, "are not always great eaters;" and, we believe, great eating will not make a lean person fat. In this, as in most other matters, no doubt the via media is best. On some good advice on this subject the doctor hangs the following amusing reminiscences of his early college days: "A fellow-commoner of Pembroke of my time (some sixty years ago or more), was the fattest young man I ever remember to have seen. was naturally very good-humoured, but his corpulency sadly interfered with his comfort, and, conjoined with his convivial propensities, subjected him to attacks of hypochondriasis, which it required all Dr. Glynn's experience and judgment to combat. His nights, during these attacks, were sleepless, and his days, as well as nights, were miserable. There was, likewise, at this time, a pensioner at Pembroke, who was as remarkably diminutive as F- was the contrary; but he made the most he could of himself, drank glass for glass with stronger men, and, I have heard, very soon burnt out. He, too, had a certain vein of humour, and often confronted F at our wine parties, and was supposed to have written the following epigram : That the stones of our chapel are all black and white, Is a fact that's undoubtedly true; But since Fn walks over them morning and night, There was another mountain of fat in the University, H-s, of Emmanuel College, of whom I recollect little more than that he was the first person to whom I heard the saying appropriated, that 'a goose is an inconvenient bird, being too large for one and not enough for two.' The nearest approach we ever heard to this was the modest request made, some years ago, at the table of a relative of our own, by a gormandising gentleman, whose voracious appetite was well known in his own neighbourhood. On being asked what portion of a goose which was set on the table, he preferred, he coolly answered-not in joke, be it understood, but in sober earnest "A leg, and a wing, and a part of the breast, if you please." Supposing this to be a first helping, of course a goose would be "not enough for two" such gormandisers. Our half hour is up, and we must bid our worthy friend adieu. May he be spared yet many a year to teach those who should rejoice to learn of him, even though it were because they know less than he only through having lived less while among men, and having had less experience of the dangers as well as the requirements of modern society. "A hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness. And the crown is stamped upon every page of this interesting and valuable little book of "Precepts." God speed it! we say. THE LONG NIGHT IN '37. AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY, I. ON the 29th September, 1837, an hour or two after nightfall, I took my seat in the Oxford mail. I was the only inside passenger, and my thoughts were quickly occupied with my own affairs, particularly with my prospects of a speedy union to a young lady whom I shall call Agatha Courtenay. We had been attached since our mutual childhood, and her father, although forbidding our immediate engagement, had promised me her hand upon my being admitted into orders :-I was now returning to Oxford to pass my final examination. Turning these matters over in my mind, I fell into a profound sleep. Either from fatigue or some other cause, I did not awake until eight o'clock on the following morning. I ascertained the hour by my watch, but did not at first observe what had enabled me to do so. Recovering my perceptions after a few seconds, I was greatly astonished to find that it was not day, but a clear bright moonlight. 66 My watch must have gained greatly," I said; "and yet I seem to have slept for several hours. It is very singular." I now too observed for the first time that the coach was moving at a pace unusually slow:it hardly could be called motion. I jumped out, and found that we were on a bare common, with no visible reason for the stoppage; indeed, the horses were apparently trotting, but neither they nor the coach made any perceptible progress. There were two or three outside passengers, who seemed dozing; the driver was awake, and I called to him to explain what was the matter. His only reply was an indistinct babbling sound, of which I could make nothing. Thinking the man was intoxicated, Í ran to the horses' heads, and endeavoured to quicken them into a faster pace, but without success. A deadly shudder, the presage of some fatal disaster, ran through my frame, but I endeavoured to shake it off. "This is all nonsense, Alan," I said to myself; "you have been working too hard of late; your brain is excited, and presents you with erroneous impressions. A sharp walk on this frosty night will set all to rights." I strode forward from the droning vehicle, and followed the road at a brisk pace, enjoying the cool air and exercise. The remedy however failed to dispel my illusions, or rather, it confirmed them as realities. My watch might have been in error;-the milestones could not possibly be. I was a good walker and passed eight of these in succession, which I knew must have occupied two hours. Accordingly, my watch stood now at ten o'clock; but the character of the night remained unchanged. The moon, particularly, was precisely where I had seen it two hours before, on the edge of a line of sand-hills at some distance. Another circumstance convinced me that what had passed was no unreality;-I felt most unequivocal signs of hunger. By this time, I should have been at breakfast in my own rooms at Oriel! This latter sensation superseded all others. The last milestone had showed me that I was not far from W- a town two stages from the place where I had joined the mail. I pushed forward, and soon descended some rising grounds into the town. As I entered it, I caught sight of the illuminated dial of a church clock;-it stood at eleven; little more than an hour from the time at which I had started the night before! I became exceedingly alarmed. Even if something were wrong with the clock, what were the inhabitants about? And then too that changeless, ghastly moon overhead! I had no leisure to speculate much, for my hunger was overpowering. There was a light in one of the windows of the principal inn, and I observed a figure standing at the casement. I knocked loudly at the door, with rather a ludicrous doubt as to whether I should ask for breakfast or supper. Apparently I was likely to get neither. No one replied to my summons; and after belabouring the door and shouting for half an hour, I lost patience, and finding one of the lower sashes unbarred, climbed through into the coffee-room, where I soon furnished myself with a meal. I then went on a visit of discovery through the house. One or two rooms had sleepers in them, whom I did not care to disturb; the other doors were fastened, including probably that of the mysterious individual whom I had seen. My alarm now returned in full force. Every effort to think proved unavailing, and after partaking of a second meal, I again sallied into the town, and passed the rest of the day in exploring its deserted streets, still by the aid of the moonlight. Towards nightfall (as it should have been by the true computation), I returned to the hotel, jaded in mind and body, and without having discovered any explanation of this extraordinary occurrence. As I approached the house, I observed the same figure which I had seen before, although its attitude was changed. It was now that of a person who had been disturbed by some sound without, and was hastily throwing open the window to ascertain the cause; but oh! how intolerably slow was the performance! At the end of two hours (for I could not refrain from observing the time by my watch), the sash had barely risen, I should think, an inch! I returned to the coffee-room, and laying my head upon my arms, wept long and very bitterly. It was not until I reached Oxford, about a week afterwards, that I fully realised the circumstances in which I was placed. I had no other home, and resolved on proceeding thither;—of course on foot. On my way, the same scenes everywhere met me. Day after day passed, but to the world around me it was still night; the clear crisp night of that 29th of September;-the same moon, the same stars, the aspect of earth and sky unchanged, and apparently unchangeable. I rarely met any of my fellowmen ;-those whom I did encounter appeared to belong to another species. Their tardy movements, their droning inarticulate tones, an air of rigidity in their features, invested them with a sepulchral and fearful character. I thought of the "veкúv ȧμevŋvà kápηva" of the Greek poet, and fancied that I beheld the counterpart of his description. How intolerably rapid too must my actions have appeared to them! To procure subsistence, I was compelled to enter some of the houses on the road. Their inmates in some instances appeared disposed to resist my proceedings, but I should have been miles on my road before they could have lifted an arm for the purpose. At length, I reached Oxford. The silver Isis glittered in the moonlight; beautiful as ever, it glanced between the tall pinnacles and spires, like the pine-trees of a Canadian forest;-but with what altered emotions did I now gaze upon the scene! As I approached my own college, I observed lights on the first-floor of a house which I knew to be the occasional resort of our "fast men." A supper-party was evidently in progress, and by crossing the street, I could see what went on. Alas! the merriment of the suitors of Ithaca, when the shadow of the exiled Ulysses first fell on his own threshold, could hardly have been more ill-omened! A toast had evidently been proposed. The raised glasses, the flushed features, told of mirth and licence; but the gestures were those of pall-bearers, and the acclamations of the revellers died away in a dirge-like wail. I was obliged to enter the college by force-(I had become an expert housbreaker now)-and gaining my own rooms, flung myself into a chair. A dull reverberation in the air, which I had noticed from the time of my entering the town, I was now enabled, by something familiar in the sound, to assign to its true cause, the striking of the numerous clocks in the university. This reminded me that for some days I had not observed the time. I sprang to a window which commanded a view of the college dial.-Merciful Providence! it stood at eleven o'clock, or a few seconds after;-the very same hour at which I had entered the town of W nearly a week before! . . . . At once, the terrible reality forced itself upon me;-I was living by a different TIME to the rest of my species Their measure of existence was suspended, or infinitely re tarded. Mine, from some unexplained cause, remained the same! Yes so it was. One of those deviations from natural laws had oc curred which the All-wise Creator has doubtless at times permitted in the unrecorded past. My brain reeled at the thought, as I attempted to work it out into its detail. Supposing that time, or that which represents it to our faculties, movement, succession, number, were absolutely suspended how long was this to continue? Was a period unmeasured as that of Chaos to elapse, before the quick sentient world, teeming with its myriad inhabitants, was again to wake into life and energy? Or supposing that the measure of time, and with it the whole functions of nature, as well animate as inanimate, was only temporarily retarded; what was the degree of the retarding force exerted? Was "one day," in the words of Holy Writ, to be literally "a thousand years"? Again, even on the most favourable supposition, what was my own condition! "Extreme differences of degree," I exclaimed, "constitute a difference of kind. These whom I see around me are no longer my fellow-men. Already my pity for their imbecility is mingled with contempt and aversion. SPEED IS POWER. How can I associate with those who can neither resent an injury nor requite a benefit; whose motions are paralysed, their senses unapprehensive, their very speech unintelligible? As well consort with the drivelling crétin, or the squalid Esquimaux! How am I even to procure the necessaries of life, food, raiment, fuel ?" But I must not weary the reader with my reflections. On the lastmentioned head, I soon found that I had needlessly alarmed myself. In this lethargy of nature, decay was arrested as well as growth. The bread which I fetched daily from the manciple's-I could enter where I chose!-was as fresh as if it had been baked but a few hours previously. Meat remained untainted; even some flowers in a glass on the kitchen sill retained their colour and freshness. My first doubt still remained :—whether the present disturbance of the course of nature involved its total suspension, or permitted some form of deliberate but sustained progression. I inclined to the latter belief, and almost hourly consulted the faces of one or other of the church dials, to obtain some confirmation of it. Sometimes I fancied that there was a variation; at length the movement became unmistakable ;—the hand of the clock in my own college clearly stood at one minute past eleven. Alas! my joy at this was short-lived! I had kept an accurate computation of my own time, often ascertaining its correctness by walking measured distances against my watch, and in other ways. I now looked at my calendar; it showed me that forty days had elapsed since I started on my journey, and about thirty-four since I reached Oxford. And yet in all this interval the hand of the clock had only advanced one minute! life, the life of history and science, the life of six thousand past years, had extended to the 9th of November;-to the slumber-stricken and torpid beings around me, it still wanted almost a whole hour of midnight on Michaelmas-day! My Forty days more passed, and the fact became unquestionable. The dials in the town stood at two minutes past eleven :-by my time it was only six days short of Christmas! I had hitherto forborne to enter into any computation of the future; now, I sat down to my desk, and with a trembling hand worked out the following result. "Forty days," I said, "compose a minute, and three hundred and sixty-five will equal about nine; in other words, seven years must elapse to complete one hour. Multiplying seven by seven, it will take forty-nine years, or thereabouts, to bring me to six o'clock on the 30th. I shall then, if I live, be a decrepit old man, verging on the threescore years and ten which are the limit of our days. The entire interval will be-night: companionless, unchanging night! Oh! God, Thou knowest my sinfulness," I exclaimed, as I flung myself upon the ground in uncontrollable agony. II. I HAVE dwelt minutely on the earlier portions of my history, in the hope of elucidating the singular disturbance to which the machinery of the natural world had been subjected. In that which follows, I shall touch only on one or two prominent occurrences, selecting them principally from a diary which I commenced keeping in the second year of my solitude. It was nearly at the same time that I conceived the idea of traversing other portions of the country, to ascertain whether there were not persons like myself exempted from this mysterious visitation. Agatha's home I shrank from visiting;-had her state resembled that of the beings around me, the agony would have been insupportable. The result of my journey is thus described in the diary: June 1, 1843.-Alas! alas! five years of fruitless wanderings! What a picture does this journal offer during the interval! Everywhere the same ghastly night; the same loneliness; the same enfeebled creatures, bearing the human image, but wrapped in this endless sleep, or wandering with imperfect and palsied motions, and idiotic cries. How terrible |