Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

his piece had entered the crown, right in front; passed over the scalp of the head, and escaped through the back part of the hat! It appeared, on inquiry, that he had loaded with a pebblestone, the size of a musket-ball, which he foolishly supposed would fly to dust as soon as it escaped the barrel of the piece. When I saw how near I had been to the eternal world, I could not but say, "This is surely the voice of God;" and under this impression I sat silent in the boat during the greater part of our way to the ship, a circumstance which one of my companions observed, and began to rally me on it, asking whether the thought of having been nearly shot had tied up my tongue? And now, does the reader imagine I honestly confessed the truth! No! for, although I trembled at the recollection of the eye and hand of Omnipotence being so evidently about me, yet I trembled more at the prospect of human ridicule, and rather than endure the laugh of man for standing in awe of God, I ventured on another act of known sin, and positively denied that any such thought occupied my mind.

Such was my base ingratitude to a gracious

E

Preserver, who still permitted me to live, an awful instance of this truth, that though “God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not;" at least not so as to be duly affected by the divine calls. But my heinous lie left a sting behind, which more than ever banished peace from my mind. I applied to the Bible with somewhat more attention than usual; but, alas! it was a sealed book, Egyptian darkness overshadowed my understanding, and fretfulness and dissatisfaction (not repentance) filled my heart. Still I put on the hypocritical smile of cheerfulness in company, and passed for a happy fellow, while happiness was an entire stranger to my breast. My most comfortable hours were those in which the bustle and exertion of nautical duty prevented my thinking, In this state I passed more than two years in the D, causing the Lord to serve with my sins, and wearying him with my iniquities.

I might lengthen out my remarks on his goodness, in covering my head in the day of battle, when so many fell; as well as, on three different occasions, preserving this ship from the most imminent danger of being wrecked, on the coast of

Spain, and in the North Sea; but I refrain from doing it, lest so many repetitions should exhaust the patience of my readers. I will only observe, that, some time after I left the D, she was lost, and more than five hundred souls perished with her! O that I could but feel as I ought to do in the retrospective view of so much mercy! But, alas! like David, I find my soul cleaves to the dust; and, like St. Paul, when I would do good-when I would "stretch forth the wings of love and arms of faith," evil in various shapes is present with me, and shortly I am found dwelling in the tents of Kedar, as before.

No. VII.

"I WILL SING OF MERCY AND JUDGMENT."

SWEET theme! thou hast smoothed down many a rugged portion of my way through this wilderness of sin-thou hast solaced me in many a past and gloomy hour! Henceforth, "when clouds and darkness are round about the throne of the Almighty," may I ever remember that "mercy and truth are the habitation of his seat." When at any time, "I walk in darkness and have no light," let the remembrance of past goodness cheer my drooping spirits, and strengthen my feeble knees! And, O thou gracious covenant God! who hast borne with me so long, do thou, from henceforth, enable me to follow thy dear Son as the good shepherd, although it be like the ewes big with young, limping, and in the rear of thy flock! Lead, O lead me, by thy merciful hand; enable me to endure unto the end, to arrive at thy fold,

and to awake up after thy likeness; for then I shall indeed be satisfied with it-then "hosannahs will no more languish on the tongue,' nor will my devotions die away into lukewarmness: on the contrary,

"This song shall last when night has quench'd the pole, And heav'n is all departed as a scroll;

Yea, when, as Justice has long since decreed,

This earth shall blaze, and a new world succeed,"

still shall I sing of mercy and judgment; unto

thee, O Lord, I shall sing.

had to

On returning to England, the C undergo some repairs, which enabled me to be more on shore than formerly. Again I mixed with gay companions, turned my back on the house of God, and sought, in the midst of thoughtless beings, like myself, that happiness which had hitherto eluded my grasp. I sought it eagerly, but I found it not. The sound of the church-going bell, the procession to and from different places of worship, and that solemn something which pervades the Sabbath, and which all the abandoned profligacy of the multitude cannot entirely do away; these united

« AnteriorContinuar »