SCENE I.-Milan. An anti-room in the Duke's palace. Enter Duke, Thurio, and Proteus. Duke. Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile; We have some secrets to confer about. [Exit Thurio. Now, tell me, Proteus, what's your will with me? Pro. My gracious lord, that which I would discover, The law of friendship bids me to conceal: Which else no worldly good should draw from me. I know you have determin'd to bestow her mean How he her chamber-window will ascend, Enter Valentine. Duke. Sir Valentine, whither away so fast? Val. Please it your grace, there is a messenger That stays to bear my letters to my friends, And I am going to deliver them. Duke. Be they of much import? Val. The tenor of them doth but signify My health, and happy being at your court. Duke. Nay, then no matter; stay with me awhile; I am to break with thee of some affairs, That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret. 'Tis not unknown to thee, that I have sought To match my friend, sir Thurio, to my daughter. Val. I know it well, my lord; and, sure, the match Were rich and honourable; besides, the gentle man Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities Duke. No, trust me; she is peevish, sullen, froward, Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty; Duke. There is a lady, sir, in Milan, here, Val. Win her with gifts, if she respect not words; Val. A woman sometimes scorns what best con tents her. Send her another; never give her o'er; Duke. Upon mine honour, he shall never know Pro. Adieu, my lord; sir Valentine is coming. (1) Longed for. (2) Guess. (3) Tempted. Duke. But she, I mean, is promis'd by her friends Unto a youthful gentleman of worth; That no man hath recourse to her by night. Duke. Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground; Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made To cast up with a pair of anchoring hooks, Val. And why not death, rather than living To die, is to be banish'd from myself, Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, that. Duke. This very night; for love is like a child, That longs for every thing that he can come by. Val. By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder. Duke. But, hark thee; I will go to her alone; How shall I best convey the ladder thither? Val. It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it Under a cloak, that is of any length. Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn? Val. Ay, my good lord. Then let me see thy cloak: Duke. How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?- My thoughts do harbour with my Silvia nightly; My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them, Because myself do want my servants' fortune: What's here? Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee: 'Tis so: and here's the ladder for the purpose.- Thank me for this, more than for all the favours, Will give thee time to leave our royal court, Be gone, I will not hear thy vain excuse, I Pro. Villain, forbear. Laun. Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray Pro. No, Valentine. Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me! What is your news? Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are news; From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend. Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom As if but now they waxed pale for wo But, as thou lov'st thy life, make speed from But neither bended knees, pure hands held up, hence. (1) Hinders. [Exit Duke. Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears, Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire; Besides, her intercession chaf'd him so, Val. No more; unless the next word that thou Have some malignant power upon my life: Pro. Cease to lament for that thou canst not And study help for that which thou lament'st. Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love; Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north gate. grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and Saint Nicholas be thy speed! Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And thereof comes the proverb,-Bless- Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so? Lawn. What need a man care for a stock with Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: read on. Speed, Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. [Exeunt Valentine and Proteus. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel,-which is much in a bare Christian. Here is the cat-log [pulling out a paper] of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only car-bite. ry; therefore, is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter Speed. Speed. How now, Signior Launce? what news with your mastership? 1 4. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea. The blackest news that ever thou 1. Why, man, how black? 1. Why, as black as ink. 1. Let me read them. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth' than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,— Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: the cover of the salt hides the salt, and Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs, Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! (3) Licentious in language. cious: well, I'll have her: and if it be a match, as By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, Speed. What then? She shall not long continue love to him. Laun. Why, then I will tell thee,-that thy It follows not that she will love sir Thurio. Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid You must provide to bottom it on me: Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this [Exit. Because we know, on Valentine's report, Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my You are already love's firm votary, letter: an unmannerly slave, that will thrust him- And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. self into secrets!-I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's Upon this warrant shall you have access, correction. [Exit. Where you with Silvia may confer at large; For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy, And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you; SCENE II.-The same. A room in the Duke's Where you may temper her, by your persuasion, palace. Enter Duke and Thurio; Proteus be-To hate young Valentine, and love my friend. Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect:But you, sir Thurio, are not sharp enough; hind. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love You must lay lime, to tangle her desires, you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight. Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most, Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Pro. Gone, my good lord. By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes For Orpheus' lute was strung with poet's sinews; Visit by night your lady's chamber-window Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. SCENE I-A forest, near Mantua. Enter Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do: "Tis an ill office for a gentleman; Especially, against his very friend. Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage him, Your slander never can endamage him; Being entreated to it by your friend. Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it, certain Out-laws. 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast: I see a passenger. 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em. Enter Valentine and Speed. 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about you; (4) Mournful elegy. (5) Choose out. 1 Out. That's not so, sir; we are your enemies. 2 Out. Peace; we'll hear him. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we; For he's a proper' man. Love thee as our commander, and our king. Val. I take your offer, and will live with you? On silly women, or poor passengers. 3 Out. No, we detest such vile base practices Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to lose; Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews, A man I am, cross'd with adversity: My riches are these poor habiliments, Of which if you should here disfurnish me, You take the sum and substance that I have. 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there? And show thee all the treasure we have got; [Exeunt SCENE II.-Milan. Court of the palace. Enter Proteus. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, And now I must be as unjust to Thurio. Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might Under the colour of commending him, have staid, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. 1 Out. What, were you banish'd thence? Val. I was. 2 Out. For what offence? Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse: 1 Out. Why ne'er repent it, if it were done so: But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues ?2 I have access my own love to prefer; Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; And give some evening music to her ear. Or else I often had been miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar, This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him: sirs, a word. Speed. Master, be one of them; It is an honourable kind of thievery. Val. Peace, villain! Out. Tell us this: have you any thing to take to? Val. Nothing, but my fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentle But to the purpose-(for we cite our faults, 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, To make a virtue of necessity, Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our say, ay, and be the captain of us all: Enter Thurio, and musicians. Thu. How now, sir Proteus ? are you crept before us? Pro. Ay, gentle Thurio; for, you know, that love Will creep in service where it cannot go. Thu. Ay, but, I hope, sir, that you love not here. Pro. Ay, Silvia-for your sake. Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentle. |