allowed to be an undeniable corruption of Athelstane by many of the distinguished amateur readers of Gwyllim; amongst others by the late Duke of Norfolk, who was sufficiently tenacious on such points. These two originals often met over a bottle to discuss the respective pretensions of their pedigrees, and on one of these occasions, when Mr. Huddlestone was dining with the duke, the discussion was prolonged till the descendant of the Saxon kings, fairly rolled from his chair upon the floor. One of the younger members of the family hastened, by the duke's desire, to re-establish him, but he sturdily repelled the proffered hand of the cadet-"Never," he hiccuped out, "shall it be said that the head of the house of Huddlestone was lifted from the ground by a younger branch of the house of Howard." "Well, then, my good old friend," said the good-natured duke, "I must try what I can do for you myself. The head of the house of Howard is too drunk to pick up the head of the house of Huddlestone, but he will lie down beside him with all the pleasure in the world:" so saying, the duke also took his place upon the floor. The concluding part of this anecdote has been plagiarized and applied to other people; but the authenticity of our version may be relied upon.-Quarterly Review.

FLEAS.

Except at Jerusalem, never think of attempting to go to sleep in a "holy city." Old Jews from all parts of the world go to lay their bones upon the sa

cred soil, and as these people never return to their homes, it follows that any domestic vermin which they may bring with them are likely to become permanently resident, so that the population is continually increasing. No recent census had been taken when I was at Tiberias, but I know that the congregation of fleas which attended at my church alone, must have been something enormous. It was a carnal, self-seeking congregation, wholly inattentive to the service which was going on, and devoted to the one object, of having my blood. The fleas of all nations were there. The smug, steady, importunate flea from Holywell-street; the pert, jumping "puce," from hungry France; the wary, watchful "pulce," with his poisoned stiletto; the vengeful "pulga," of Castile, with his ugly knife; the German "floh," with his knife and fork-insatiate-not rising from table; whole swarms from all the Russias, and Asiatic hordes unnumbered: all these were there, and all rejoiced in one great international feast. I could no more defend myself against my enemies, than if I had been "pain à discrétion," in the hands of a French patriot.-Eothen.

THE PENITENTS.

At Padre Caravita's, during Lent, the friars dress in sackcloth, trimmed with ashes; lights are put out, and every penitent, credits himself to heaven some dozen lashes, (the walls and pillars getting all the slashes,) the flogger setting up a pious moan, at every

item of the bill he cashes; still working desperately at the stone, but giving not a touch to his own. flesh and bone. One evening, as they sung their "miserere," with half the city listening at the door, (I think this famous chorus dull and dreary,) was heard a yell within, 'twas soon a roar, then a pitched battle on the holy floor; screams to the Virgin, howls to every saint! All thought the Fiend had come to claim his score; the men began to fly, the sex to faint. And still the battle raged, the howls came thicker; matters seemed looking black for "Church and State." Up marched the pursy guards of Rome's "Grand Vicar," heroes not much inclined to tempt their fate, for not a soul of them would touch the gate. At last, out burst the penitents all whipped, roaring at this new payment of "Church Rate." The truth transpired-an Englishman, equipped in cowl and gown, through the padre's door had slipped. He waited till the holy farce began; all stripped, all dark; not even a taper's smoke: then, marking a fat friar for his man, and taking a stout horsewhip from his cloak, on his broad back he laid a hearty stroke! the victim shrieked, as if he felt a sabre; John Bull amazingly enjoyed the joke, proceeding all the mummers to belabour, while each revenged the stripes upon his naked neighbour!-The Modern Orlando.

PLEASURES OF OLD AGE.

One forenoon I did prevail with my mother, to let them carry her to a considerable distance from the

house, to a sheltered, sunny spot, whereunto we did often resort, formerly to hear the wood-pigeons which frequented the fir-trees thereabouts. We seated ourselves and did pass an hour or two very pleasantly. She remarked how merciful it was ordered, that these pleasures should remain to the last days of life; that when the infirmities of age make the company of others burdensome to us, and ourselves a burden to them, the quiet contemplation of the works of God affords a simple pleasure which needeth naught else than a contented mind to enjoy; the singing of birds, even a single flower, or a pretty spot like this, with its bank of primroses, and the brook running in there below, and this warm sunshine, how pleasant they are. They take back our thoughts to our youth, which age doth love to look back upon.-Diary of Lady Willoughby.

FRIGHTFUL TO THINK OF.

An injudicious adherent of Mr. Percival, the colleague of Canning, having mentioned drugs among the articles to be intercepted by the English ships, in order to make the French more disposed for peace, the opportunity which it offered to Sydney Smith for displaying his powers of ridicule, was too tempting to be lost, and he has thus "shown up" the affair, in the "Letters of Peter Plymley:"

"What a sublime thought," exclaims Peter, "that no purge can now be taken between the Weser and the Garonne; that the bustling pestle is still, the canorous mortar mute, and the bowels of mankind lock

ed up for fourteen degrees of latitude! When, I should be curious to know, were all the powers of crudity and flatulence fully explained to his majesty's ministers? At what period was this great plan of conquest and constipation fully developed? In whose mind was the idea of destroying the pride and the plasters of France first engendered? Without castor oil they might, for some months, to be sure, havẹ carried on a lingering war; but can they do without bark? Will the people live under a government where antimonial powders cannot be procured? Will they bear the loss of mercury? There's the rub.' Depend upon it, the absence of materia medica will soon bring them to their senses, and the cry of Bourbon and bolus burst forth from the Baltic to the Mediterranean,"

VOLTAIRE'S PHYSIOGNOMY.

Voltaire's physiognomy, which is said to have been a combination of the eagle and the monkey, was illustrative of the character of his mind. If the soaring wing and piercing eye of the eagle opened to him all the regions of knowledge, it was only to collect materials for the gratification of that apish disposition, which seems to have delighted in grinning, with a malicious spirit of mockery, at the detected weaknesses and infirmities of human nature. Though a man may often rise the wiser, yet I believe none ever rose the better from the perusal of Voltaire.— Matthews.