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be taken hereafter, when he apprehended that he should not live to return to town, he repeated his injunction—with the most anxious intreaty that I would relieve his mind, and meet his wishes, by destroying all his papers after his disease. Finding that nothing short of my giving him a faithful promise to execute his command would pacify his agitated mind, I reluctantly yielded—and promised to execute his desire on one condition onlynamely, that he would allow me to preserve, for my own use, the above mentioned MS, written in 1798 (which I knew was not unfit for publication) and also permit me to subjoin it to this Memoir whenever it should be made public, to which he agreed.*
Mr. Cecil, however, contrary to his apprehensions, lived to reach home; when his determination respecting bis papers was put in force by his own hand. He consumed every other MS. but the one I had before redeemed from the flames; and which is, by an after arrangement, attached to his works. It will appear, both from this MS. and from the following extracts (taken chiefly from my own private memorandums, and which are distinct from
* Mr. Cecil's reply to his son Israel on his mentioning to his father his feelings on reading this MS. then in the possession of a friend, may not be uninteresting “ I do not wonder that you felt as you express, at reading my feelings on passing through the deep waters. Alas! you saw but a small part of what occurred: but, by these things men live; and in all these things is the life of my spirit. They are what a University cannot yield; nor is a Prince, as such, favoured with a ste of them. I sincerely pray that you may know how a thorn in the flesh becomes a special blessing.
the fragment published in his works,) that, during this confinement, his heart was receiving important lessons in the school of affliction. Saturday night, Dec. 8th, 1798.
“ This is a mysterious dispensation; but I know it is a wise
I did not THINK of ever feeling so much pain. I have not prayed against that. I am now to glorify him by suffering—I am not afraid of consequences—It is well !”
Dec. 10th. To the Rev. Mr. Newton, who was dropping him a seasonable word of consolation, he replied,
“ It is consistent neither with reason nor religion, to oppose sufferings to the love of God; for, Whom the Lord loveth, He chasteneth; and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” In the evening of the same day to another friend, (the Rev. Mr. Venn,) he said “ I am not afraid to die; but I am afraid of being worne out by pain. Nature shrinks at this prospect.” ”
Wednesday 12th. To the Rev. Mr. Pratt he said-My illness gives me stronger hold of two points :- 1st. God must be brought near, to be lived on and fled to: 2d, Comfort, to be sensible to my heart, must spring from God's making Himself sensible to me.
There must be an Incarnation. I must, by faith, lay hold of my God-as he became man!"
Dec. 14th. In bed-To the same friend, who spoke to him of the rumoured death of Buonaparte, and the failure of the French expedition against
Egypt, he replied—“ But is Egypt to be left in its present horrid state of depravity and wretchedness under the Turks?-How unsearchable are the ways of God! He giveth no account of His matters. If God should restore me again to health, I have determined to study nothing but the Bible. Literature is inimical to spirituality, if it be not kept under with a firm hand. A man ought to call in from every quarter, whatever may assist him to understand, explain, and illustrate the Bible: but there—in its light and life-is all that is good for man. All important truth is there; and I feel that no comfort enters sick curtains from any other quarter. My state is an admonition to young men. I have been too much occupied in preparing to live, and too little in living. I have read too much from curiosity, and for mental gratification. I was literary, when I should have been active. We trifle too much. Let us do something for God. The man of God, is a man of feeling and activity. I feel and would urge with all possible strength on others, that Jesus Christ is our All and in All."
On another occasion he said--In all my sufferings, except when my pain is extreme, I think I can in some degree say--I take pleasure in them: but when I am in torture, I seem to be glad that I can bear it without a MURMUR, which I have not felt that I know of; but I cannot say, I take pleasure in it. As to being broken down, I perfectly agree to it; distress, poverty, reproach, infirmity,
are fine things to humble a high spirit. The Physicians do not know my case—but I do: it is the finger of God-and I am to learn from it various important lessons; and, among the rest, the surFICIENCY OF HIS GRACE. I have prayed thrice: sure I ought to be content with the answer to St. Paul !"
To a friend he said—“ It has been a night of great pain, but it was a night appointed me by Jesus Christ; and sure it must be a good one, that He appoints! Had I laid down my life for you, your good nights would have been my anxious care.” At another time—" I have great peacenot a ruffled breeze-night nor day-and this is all grounded on the doctrine of Jesus Christ. Give up that, and I should have no sleep to-night. All is pitch darkness without it-dark as a Sociniandark as a Moralist. There is no light, but what Christ brings.” At another time, while attending him in the night, he said to me—“ It is an extraordinary statement, that though God loves me much better than you do, yet he does not relieve me. I am to partake, as a member of Christ, the sufferings of Christ. It pleased the Lord to bruise Him, for the good of man; and he afflicts man, for his good. If I recover, I shall be a better preacher —that is, I shall be more humble! I have many comforts ; but perhaps I shall be so sick as to say, Lord! it is enough, take away my life. I am now often thankful for five minutes ease; and I wonder
I was not much more so for that of fifty years." At another time—“God knows my case: and, in pain, in difficulty, in sickness, he says— It is I: be not afraid: Commit yourself to me!' Jesus Christ is my great hold: nothing can happen without His knowledge and permission.”
To one, who spoke to him of his illness, he said
“ It is all Christ. I keep death in view. If God does not please to raise me up, He intends me better. I know whom I have believed. How little we think of improving the time we have, while we have opportunity! I find every thing but religion, vanity. I am ready, even on this sick bed, to preach to preachers. I ask myself, what is
my hold and support—what will remain with me, when every thing else is washed away? To recollect a promise of the Bible-This is substance! Nothing will do but the Bible. If I read authors, and hear different opinions, I cannot say, THIS IS TRUTH!—I cannot grasp it as substance: but the Bible gives me something to HOLD. I have learnt more within these curtains, than from all the books I ever read. I sometimes speculate on the idea of a soul's leaving the body, and wandering forth into the world of space; but it is alone wandering in solitude-It is wretched BECAUSE ALONE; to say nothing of misery: but let a ray from Christ shine on that soul, and no matter where it is-it is happy !"
The violence of this attack was mercifully