But I don't think the little witches, Of petticoated sailors, jolly, At Spithead, under Admiral Polly.- They would not march like grenadiers, Nor do I think that pretty maids But would surrender, to a man, So much for them; and now to you I will address a word or two : Do not commence in love's career With whimpering plaints about your dear; Nor tell the world your case deplorable, Nor sing to every brawling brook, Nor make your fair, in prose or metre, Thus have I known a would-be poet, Who was, alas! a man of no wit, Whose lays with tawdry nonsense shone, Of all his folly could combine; Oft haul'd in gods, by head and shoulders, To discipline militia soldiers, And made the stout old bully Mars, The captain Church* of Indian wars ; Her jewsharp tune on broad Ohio; In spite of all poetick laws His arrows shoot at tawny squaws! All this may do, in humorous pieces, Where things absurd our mirth increases; you describe a drunken rout, And for expressions are put to't, Then introduce old Mr. Bacchus, And make his godship chyme with crackers; But would you win the fair you love, Such foolish trifling be above; For if she's sense a single grain, Your florid nonsense will be vain ; * A chieftain famous in the wars between the New England colonists and the American Aborigines. Your true sublime, and lorn pathetick, She will abhor, like an emetick. But if so fortunate your case is, What time a thousand tender arts When half express'd, half stifled sigh, With crimson flush of beauty's cheek ; And all in tender tone proclaim That hopes and wishes are the same; Then may you fondly hope to prove THE CARRIER OF THE COMMERCIAL ADVERTISER, TO HIS PATRONS.* THAT unaccommodating churl, Who keeps things ever on the whirl, Old daddy TIME, for aye careering, Has piloted another year in ; And in the course of last year's flight, he Has brought about affairs so mighty, Concatenation of events, That your most humble servant flatters Himself a hint of some vast matters This personage has set afloat, is Well worth your honour's worship's notice. I don't say I am very knowing In all the great affairs now going; * Written for January 1st, 1806. |