sole right of disposing of me. Again they say, "Why do you not give out, I am to preach? Why call it a meeting?" I answer, Because that suits my design best. First, It is less ostentatious. Secondly, It leaves me at liberty to speak more or less, as I feel myself led. Thirdly, It gives less offence to those who watch for it. Others object, "Why, yours is a Quaker call; why then do you not join them at once? You are an offence to us. Go to. the people whose call is the same as your own; here nobody can bear with you." I answer, Though I believe the Quakers have still a good deal of God among them, yet I think the Spirit of the Lord is more at work among the Methodists; and while I see this, though they were to toss me about as a football, I would stick to them like a deech. Besides, I do nothing but what Mr. Wesley approves; and as to reproach thrown by some on me, what have I to do with it, but quietly go forward, saying, I will be still more vile, if my Lord requires it? Indeed for none but thee, my Lord, would I take up this sore cross. But thou hast done more for me. O do thy own will upon me in all things! Only make me what thou wouldst have me to be! Only make me holy, and then lead me as thou wilt!

August, 1777.-I heard Mr. Wesley preach from these words, "Dearly beloved, as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul." A sweet discourse it was, showing the great danger of every earthly gratification. This lesson, he said, might be learned even from the body. As often as we take down food, we swallow so many seeds of death, by causing so many more particles of earth to adhere to, and clog our vessels, and so hasten our dissolution. And without great watchfulness so it would be with our souls. If we were not on our guard, human comforts received would also bring the soul nearer to death, instead of being a step to life. It is truly said of worldly joy, "It does with powerful charm hold down the mind, and sensualize the soul."

Sunday noon.--I heard him on these words, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believ eth." His strength was wonderful, and much power attended the word. Lord, be the strength of thy dear

servant, and his portion for ever! At night he lodged with us.

August 14.-Last night dear Mr. Wesley came here again. After supper he read a letter from Lady Maxwell, in which she expresses a most sweet state of soul; observing that if the name of Jesus is but mentioned, her heart is like the key of a well tuned instrument, when its unison is touched. O how sweet a progress has she made! Lord, let me do so likewise!

Last Thursday Mr. Wesley preached at Daw Green, on "I will give to every one of you according to your works." First, he considered, What were the works. Secondly, What the reward. The works, he said, were threefold. First, What the man is. Secondly, What he does. Thirdly, What he suffers. 1. All he is, that is right, shall have its reward :-all "the fruit of the Spirit,— love, joy, peace, long-suffering, meekness, patience, faith, self-denial, fortitude;"-all these are the work of God, and all received through Christ, above all, love, which is the image of God. 2. All he does, all his works of piety and mercy, all that is wrought in faith; nay, the most common labours of his daily business, if done in a spirit of sacrifice, shall not be forgotten; for it is said of servants, by the apostle, for their encouragement, that when they "obey and serve men, with singleness of heart, they serve the Lord Jesus Christ." 3. All he suffers. Not one cross taken up in obedience to the will of God, but it shall have its reward. But what is the reward? First, The very nature of each grace necessarily brings its reward. The more faith, patience, courage, and perse. verance, the more holiness will be brought into the soul, and consequently the soul will be rendered more like God, and more capable of fellowship with him: and in propor. tion to our fellowship with God must be our happiness. But beside these, there is a reward of infinite free mercy (over and above what flows from inherent holiness) bestowed on each grace, and on each action done for God, and each cross borne for his sake.

O for a full de

I felt it come with power to my soul. votedness to thee, my God! I see I am quietly to wait on thee, though my crosses are very heavy in many ways. But the will of the Lord be done!

September 12.-This day thirty-eight years I was born. Solemn thought! O how far have I spent these thirty. eight years for God? What is my situation, outward and inward? Outward it is very trying; my circumstances are very perplexing. But I hold fast my former promises. "Christ charges himself with all thy temporal affairs, while you charge yourself with those that relate to his glory." I am determined to make Zion my chief care, though I know not what the Lord is about to do with me. I have a great family, and not an income left sufficient to keep them, which obliges me to sink something every year. The business hurts, instead of helping; and though Mr. *** is sure it will the next year do far otherwise, I cannot believe it. It appears to me deliverance will begin by bringing me out of this place, dividing the family, and contracting my wide-spread cares into one, viz., the cause of God only. But how this will be brought about I know not; for though I keep putting out the children as fast as they grow up, yet that is attended with much expense, and I have many grown persons whom I know not how to provide for, nor find any way to dispose of. They are good sincere souls, and they live to God. Some of them also are very weak in body, and advanced in years. When I have settled all the accounts, I am led to believe it will be the order of God for me to go down to Bath and Bristol for six months. Nine months ago I got a fall, which hath made me in a degree lame ever since. Bath may help that; but I believe I have something to do for souls in those places, and I shall be glad to be at a distance from poor Mr. O how sad it is! I fear while he helps me, I hurt him. Lord! what a situation is mine! But how is it with me inwardly? On the whole I have found my mind more stayed on God this last year, and my confidence in his loving protection is a good deal increased. That sorc temptation of fear, by which I have suffered so much in going out in the work of God, I have found a good deal removed by prayer. I have had freedom, and some success, in dealing with souls. But I am not all athirst for full salvation. I do not feel that ardent desire after it which swallows up every other care and desire. I have yet some prospects on earth, which I can. not fully look over. They present themselves before me,

***.

and I do not feel--deeply feel-the force of these words, "It is far better to depart, and be with Christ." Again, many cares divide my soul. I know not if ever I shall get this place sold; or ever pay my debts. Every thing sinks me deeper in that respect. It is amazing what losses and trials I have! Yet I feel my anchor cast in the will of God. I fear, however, that I have departed from his close embrace, and therefore he hath encompassed my way with thorns. Well, I will, I do embrace his justice, as well as his mercy! Both "his rod and his staff shall com. fort me !"

It is an easy matter to believe when all goes smoothly about us. But now is the time for my faith to have its full exercise. Nothing but ruin in temporal things seems before me, and I am upbraided by many as being a fool. They say, "Why does not she turn them all out of doors?" Nay, some who should know better, cast the same in my teeth! Yet with all my endeavours I see no way out. To turn them out of doors!-I have no light for that. Still I seem called to believe God will make a way for each, and remove them in his own time and manner. Still I trust that I shall see accomplished those words, so power. fully applied at Laytonstone: "Thou shalt lay up gold as the dust, and the gold of Ophir as the stones of the brook; yea, the Almighty shall be thy defence, and thou shalt have plenty of silver." What I understand by these words is, that a time shall come when I shall owe no one any thing, and have plenty to carry on such designs as the Lord shall lay on my heart for his glory. That he will bring me out of this place, and provide some way for every member to be removed, so that I shall say, Now is fulfilled that word, "Thou shalt decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee, and light shall shine on thy path." But here is the difficulty; how absurd does it appear to go on with a great household, running me out on every side! How ridiculous will distress so brought on make me appear in the eyes of all! That thought has made me strive and struggle every way to throw it off, but it seems the Lord always frustrates my endeavours, and I am forced to sit down at his footstool again, with that thought, "My time is in his hand, and he knows how to deliver." It is hard to believe against seeming impossibilities. Yet it comes

to my mind, God does bless me in believing spiritual things that are above my powers; but these are only temporal. Will he bless that exercise of faith? It is certain Abraham's faith was tried in temporal things-and through the temporal difficulties, he held fast faith in the spiritual. Israel was called into a temporal Canaan, prefiguring the spiritual; and I cannot divide two ideas which continu. ally seem to dwell together in my mind, viz., that I shall be delivered from all my spiritual enemies, and brought into a most perfect liberty of soul, as soon as I am delivered from the temporal; and that I shall first praise the Lord for the fulfilment of the above promises, and then for full salvation!

us!

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October 28.-Glory be to God, he is yet working among Last week Sally Lawrence was set at liberty, and the change is very evident. Yesterday as I was meeting her, she said, "O! had I known what the love of God was, sure I should never have rested so long without it! I have often found great joy, but there was always a sting in the end. Some thought or other would come and take away the pleasure; but now I find a pleasure in God without any sting. Last week I felt a change, and many promises; but I had not a clear evidence. Yet I thought, I do feel in many things as I never did before. However, as you were saying in the class last Tuesday, that we ought to rejoice evermore, and the way so to do was to praise the Lord for what he had done; I thought, then I will try to do so. Accordingly, I spoke more freely than I should otherwise have done, and while I spoke, I found more power to believe. But on Friday, while you were meeting the children, I found my evidence quite clear: these words were applied to my mind: There is no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus.' And since that time I have been very happy. I never knew such a week as this in all my life. I used to be tired, and I hated the washing week; but I have now been kept in entire peace all through.”

Bath, February, 1778.-On the 8th of December last, I set out for this place, and came here on the 12th. Much have I seen of the hand of my God here in many ways. Soon after my arrival, Mr. Wesley came to lay the first stone of the chapel. He preached from these words: