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twenty-one years old, standing before her! She started up, but thought, May be it is the enemy to affright me from prayer. Casting her eyes again to the same spot, she still saw him there, on which she ran down into the kitchen, calling on the name of the Lord. Still, wherever she looked, she saw him standing before her, pale and as if covered with dirt ! Concluding from this that he was killed, she ran to her mother, who, on hearing the account, went directly to the pit, determined to have him home, if alive. On her drawing near the pit she heard a great tumult, for the earth had fallen in on him and two other men, and the people were striving to dig them out. At length he was got up alive and well, and came home to his mother, pale and dirty, just as she had seen him! She then fell on her knees, and began praising that God who hears and answers prayer! Many of the ungodly neighbours having been witness to the whole transaction, are much affected, and I trust this very strange occurrence will work for good.*
October.— Yesterday I was very much taken up in house affairs. Various things occurred which would at sometimes have been a burden; but every thing seemed blessed. These words were all day the language of my heart,
" With thee delighted I forget
All time, and toil, and care;
If thou, my God, be there.?? It was a day of prayer and sweet recollection. This day also I have found much of the presence of God. O for a power of self-denial in all things to do his will !
November 12.-We have been married thrce years this day. A good day it has been to me! My spirit has been much drawn out in prayer for a farther lift of faith, with. out which I am sensible I cannot obtain the fulfilment of that promise, “ Her clothing shall be of wrought gold !" As I was this day reflecting on the wonderful goodness of God in my providential union with my dear husband (so far, so very far, beyond my warmest wishes,) my heart
* Was not this extraordinary dispensation permitted for the good of these ignorant ungodly persons, who were not likely to be moved by more rational means ?-Ed.
was enlarged with desire to render to my God a suitable return for all his mercies! I cried from the bottom of my soul to the Father, that he would draw me to the Son! I called on Christ as my living head! It was a peculiar season. These words have ever since abode on my mind :
“ See him to thy help come down,
The excellence Divine." November 16.-A thought struck my mind to-night, as I was looking over some part of my điary, that there is not praise enough for spiritual blessings. I express my wants, but I ought to praise the Lord without ceasing, that he gives me such an open door to pour out my wants into his bosom ; and the answers to prayer I have of late found, have been so quick, so certain, and so wonderful, I am amazed !
In July last, we believed the Lord called us to York. shire for a few weeks,* and many answers to prayer did we meet with in that journey. Soon after our return, my dear husband was called to take another journey. I knew he would meet with much fatigue therein ; and every jour. ney hurts him much; but I was amazed at the calm resig. nation I felt; the language of my heart was,
" Happy to meet, yet free to part,
Through thee for ever one in heart." This autumn I have been a good deal among the people, and have found great liberty both in public and private meetings. Two dear souls have been lately brought in; and though persecution burns hot against them, they are yet firm, and rejoice that they “are counted worthy to suffer for the cause of God." Lord, keep them, and make them firm as the beaten anvil to the stroke!
Lord's day.—My dear husband was very poorly, and had much appearance of a fever. In the morning meeting I told the dear women we must hold him up by prayer ; and indeed I felt our prayers had free access to the Lord. It would have warmed a heart of stone to have heard Mary Matthews give her simple, yet solid and wise declaration of the goodness of God. She had been a long time creeping hither with her sore leg ; but she seemed scarce to
* To attend the conference; the last at which Mr. Fletcher was present.-ED.
know which to praise God most for, the strength he had given her to do so, or the pain she had felt all the night before ! “ For,” said she,“ if I had not had pain, I should have slept. But instead of that, I had such a Divine visit from my Lord, and such sweet intercourse with him, I would not have been without it for all the world.” This woman grows much in grace; she is to me a great con. solation, and a help in training up some of the lambs of the flock. She had been for some years in a mourning state, (though she still retained her faith,) but the first Sabbath my dear husband and I spoke in the kitchen, she was set at liberty while these words were sung :
“ The year of jubilee is come!
Return, ye ransom'd sinners, home !" January 5, 1785.—I have this day been looking over my many mercies, and my heart was melted into love! O what a prospect! Lord, speak again to my heart, “ Thou shalt walk with me in white !" I cast my whole self on thy mercy! So much I feel of it as makes me rest under thy shadow! Thy will shall be my choice! Some. times I think I am so surrounded with comforts, I shall not answer that character, “ These are they which came out of great tribulation." But I abandon myself to thy dear will, only let me glorify thee to the uttermost! Yea, with every power! It was a good time last night also while at the prayer meeting. Yesterday I went with my dear husband to —
but being taken ill, I was forced to return home. This is often the case with me. I am oft disappointed in what appears at first the will of God; but at this time it was far otherwise. I felt a pleasure in appearing mean and good for nothing. Yes, I will glory in my infirmity, that the will of God may be done in me!
July 2.-Much blessed to-day while my dear husband was preaching the sermon to the club. I had a sweet sight how union with God could transform the soul into his own image.
July 26.-- This summer being dry, I have had much opportunity of going about. One day, at the Rough Park, I had a peculiar instance of the goodness of God. A son of Belial, a wicked. rude fellow, bound bimself and another
young man, whom he had drawn in, under a blasphemous oath, that they would be there by the time we began, in order to make a disturbance. Accordingly, about six o'clock, he was for setting off,--when he was suddenly struck as with death. All about him really thought he was dying. He continued thus for some hours. O how easily can the Lord put his bridle into the jaws of those he would restrain! I gave it out to be there again that day fortnight, but in the meantime I walked to a distant place, rather beyond my strength; however, we had a good time. On my return home, I felt very weary, and the thought passed my mind, My soul is too swift for my body; for it seemed as if it would fly to those places where there appeared a call. My earthly frame, how. ever, was too heavy to drag after it. That night I began to
grow ill, and it terminated in a fever. My limbs swelled a good deal, and I was covered with red spots ; but had not much pain. Now I had a fresh instance of the tender care and love of my blessed partner : sickness was made pleasant by his kind attention. When the day came for me to be at the Rough Park, he went himself, but was so penetrated with the thought of losing me, that he preached as it were my funeral sermon; and the dear people joined him in his feelings and prayer. During this illness many thoughts passed my mind, which I can scarce account for. For a good while past my dear husband has joined with me in prayer in an uncommon manner. led to offer ourselves to do and suffer all the will of God. Something seems to tell me I must have more of the bit. ter cup ; and these words are much with me: “ That I may stand in the evil day, and having done all-stand.” My prayer is, That the evil day may be before death, not at the last. But, Lord, thy will—thy whole will be done !
Certainly I have now scarce any cross. Thou hast made my cup to run over! Yea, thou hast made me to forget all my sorrows. It seems as if I had never suffered any thing! There is not a comfort I can wish for which I have not ;—but, Lord, I want more grace !
October 25.-When I wrote last, (July 26,) I was in. deed arrived at the summit of human felicity! did indeed run over! I often said, Lord! how is this? Am I indeed one of those of whom it is said, “ These are
My cup they who came out of great tribulation ?” My way is strewed with roses. I am ready to say, with Joseph, “ The Lord hath made me to forget all my afflictions, and all my father's house !"
But 0 ! how shall I write it! On the fourteenth of August, 1785, the dreadful moment came! The sun of my earthly joys for ever set, and the cloud arose which casts the sable on all my future life! At half past ten that Sabbath night, I closed the eyes of my beloved ! What a change! The whole creation wears a new face to me. The posture of my mind at this season I will not trust to my memory to describe. I will leave it in the rough manner I then set it down. Perhaps some one walking in the same dreary path may find a little comfort therefrom. To others it may be dry and insipid. “ The heart knoweth its own bitterness.”
On September 15, 1785, I wrote in my diary as follows: “I am truly a desolate woman, who hath no helper but thee." I remember a little before the translation of my dearest love, we were drawn out continually to ask for a greater measure of the Spirit-such a measure as was given at pentecost : or in other words, such a manifesta. tion of the loving nature of God, as should fulfil in us that promise, “ Ye are the temples of the Holy Ghost." This I asked and pleaded for, and that on any condition. My dear Mr. Fletcher used to say, “ That is right, Polly ; let us hold fast there, and leave all the rest to God, though he should be constrained to part us asunder to give the answer."
On the Tuesday before my love died, when those words were applied to my mind, “Where I am, there shall my servants be, that they may behold my glory,” I felt such a power in them, as seemed in a great degree to take away the bitterness even of that dreadful cup.
• To behold my glory!” That thought would for moments swallow up ali, and I seemed to lose myself in the desire of his glory being manifested. But that awful night! when I had hung over my dear husband for many hours, expecting every breath to be his last, and during which time he could not speak to, nor take any notice of me, a flood of unspeakable sor. row overspread my heart, and quite overwhelmed my spirit. I was scarcely in my senses ; and such a fear seized my