something comes-some thoughts,-I do not seek them, but they come and throw me all back again."

Sometimes

His state was now very uncomfortable. he was just ready to receive the Scriptures as truth: then a variety of objections would start up in his mind, and cause him to cry out, "How can these things be?" If we cannot be saved without believing that Jesus is God. why did he live and die in such obscurity? Would not a merciful Being have rendered every thing quite clear that he required his creatures to believe, upon pain of their salvation?* He added many arguments frequently used by Deists, such as, "How clearly doth the whole creation prove a Supreme Creator! The day and night, the sun and moon, and all creatures! We cannot help believing they have a Maker. Why is not the Divinity of Jesus Christ made as easy to be believed as these things?" I replied, the belief of those things you have mentioned, are by the outward senses; but religion is an inward principle, which God must open in our souls, and which changes every power and passion thereof. If all you are to believe could be comprehended by the outward senses, the greatest sinners might be as good believers as the most holy persons. But the sense which God opens in the soul, and which we call faith, makes you acquainted with spiritual things, and capable of communion with God. He then answered in haste, "God hath never opened such a sense in my soul, and of course he will not condemn me for not using a power he hath not given.' True (said I) it is not opened in you; but it is because you shut your eyes and heart against it. Your state is exactly descried in the word of God, whether you will believe it or no. This same Jesus whom you have despised, was "to the Jews a stumbling block, and to the wise Greeks foolishness; but to us who believe," we feel him to be "the wisdom of God, and the power of God."

It was a precious time to my own soul; I had such a sweet view of the whole plan of redemption! A ray of light shone upon the amazing wisdom, as well as love, contained therein, and filled my heart with a sweet liberty,

*The God of infinite mercy, justice, and truth, has made all clear. The evidences of his being are not stronger than the evidences of the religion he has revealed.-ED.

while I was attempting to lay before him the hidden glories of the adorable Jesus, when he appeared without form or comeliness, and by his deep humiliation marked out all our way! How well suited this plan of salvation was to break down the high aspiring thoughts of man, and to bring him into that absolute dependence, and perfect submission, which make the joys of heaven! I observed also, that a far greater salvation was wrought out for us, and a far greater glory would redound to God, by this wonderful act of free grace, than could have been if we had never needed such a Saviour.

I now daily discerned some advances-he gave back more and more; and the word of God began to be more honourable in his eyes. But yet he would say, "Every man hath the right of private judgment. Can I not be saved without believing on Jesus Christ? If I address my prayers to the Supreme Being, and strive to obey him, why should I be condemned for not believing what I cannot understand?" To this I answered, "God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that all who believe on him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Now, said I, there is the condition : . If you believe on him whom the Father hath given." He seemed in a struggle to believe, and said with vehemence, "But I cannot believe God would become a man, and die for me. I am not worthy of it. The thought is absurd! Why, aunt, if I were condemned to death, do you believe the king of England would die to save my life?" No, said I, I believe he would not. "Now, there is the thing," replied he," you start at the thought of the king dying for me; and yet you want me to believe that God hath died in my place !"*

I observed the different relation he stood in to God. The king (said I) did not create you; you are not his off spring; neither can the love of a finite being bear any comparison with that pure unmixed love which dwells in the heart of God. The king did not voluntarily take all your condemnation on himself. But the Almighty Saviour has done so. He acts by us as if some great potentate should receive into his favour a poor beggar-make her

• What a genuine instance of carnal reasoning!-ED.

his spouse--take all her debts on himself-give her a right to his treasures-a part in his throne-and a share in all his titles. "Thus God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him," should by virtue of that union inherit all things! Here is the condition; but you will not comply therewith. Only suppose, for one moment, that the king had died to save your life; but that when you was informed of his unpa. ralleled love, you would give no credit thereto, even though one should say to you, Only look through this glass in my hand: I hold it to your eye; only look through it, and you will see him hang bleeding there! But you turn away your face with contempt, and will not so much as look on him who bleeds for you! Would you not in that case be a monster of ingratitude? Now this word of God, this book, is the glass; if with simplicity and prayer you look into it, you shall there discern that supreme Being, (whom unknown you worship,) and that "He was in Christ reconciling the world to himself: and that there is no other name given under heaven whereby you can be saved."

One afternoon, as he was reading to me, I pointed him to the experience of Brother Story, believing it was suited to his present state. But contrary to all I had for a long time seen in him, he appeared quite hard, and cavilled at almost every sentence. I answered his objections for a long time, till I was quite spent. Then looking solemnly at him, with tears in my eyes, I put out my hand to take the book. He was moved, and said tenderly—“ What, aunt! What! No! I will read any thing, any thing you give me! You think me in a bad spirit, aunt!" I replied, Why, my dear, I do not think you are in a very good one. That book does not suit you to-night. He then read on, till he came to a part very applicable to his present feelings. He dropped the book at once, and remained silent. After a time I asked him what was the matter. He replied, "I know not what is the matter! I feel a horrible sensation! O! what do I ail? How have I been speaking to you! Dear aunt, the more kind you are, the more ungrateful I am. What is the matter with me? I am worse and worse!" I strove to comfort him, saying, It is well; the Lord is beginning to show you your heart. "Ah!" replied he, "you say very well, but I say very ill;

for I am worse than before I came to England. O! I am ashamed to think how I spent my life! I thought I had done all things for the glory of God. But now I see I have done all for myself, and to please myself only." After some time of silence, he said, "I will now tell you what I have been doing. All this week I have strove to address my prayers to Jesus Christ, as you advised me, but, alas! I am more dull and cold in them than I ever felt before! O! if he is God, why doth he not help me! You said, aunt, he would answer for himself!" Then in an agony he added, "Why does he not answer? Why does he not answer?" While I was making a few observations on the long time the Lord had waited for him, &c., Mr. Horne came in to meet the men's class, to which he was that night to go up for the first time. When he came down, he said his mind was more composed, and he wished he had frequented that meeting before.

After supper, being alone, we renewed our conversa. tion, and I repeatedly assured him the Lord would shine upon him if he would only persevere. His cry was still, "Why does he not answer?" It being late, we parted. I then went again to the throne of grace, to pour out my complaint before the Lord. I saw we were come to a point, and could go no farther without his immediate help. I had staked all on the faithfulness of my God, and had declared the answer would come: and now there was nothing more for me to do, but to obtain it of the Almighty. Sometimes I felt all faith and hope; at others, as if cold water was thrown over the fire of expectation. Satan was not idle. He suggested, You will find him to-morrow as you left him to-night. I pleaded with the Lord that it was no new thing I asked. He had shown his approval of sacrifices by fire from heaven; he had wrought for his people; he had given signs and wonders! "His arm was not shortened," and I besought him to appear in such a manner for this young man, as should convince him of the truth. Sometimes I felt all discouragement, but I did not mind that; I knew from whence it came. I said, Lord, thy word stands always sure; it is not my feelings, but thy faithfulness, that I depend on. Lord, thou hast said, "Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, I will do it." I ask this in thy name! I leave it in thy hand,

assured of the answer. The next morning he went out early. On his return at night, he said, "Aunt, I have a great deal to tell you. After we parted last night I thought I would pray; but that it was right to consider what I wanted most. Then I thought, why I want most light on this point, about Jesus Christ. But will God so condescend as to answer me? Then, aunt, I heard a voice (not with my ear, but I did hear it) say, Yes, he will. Then I began and made prayer-and an hour went away like a minute-and I could say, Through the Lord Jesus Christ! O! dear aunt, I thought I must have come up and told you, but you were gone to bed. And again I thought, may be to-morrow God will confirm this. And so he has, for when I was at Waters Upton, Mr. G. H. began to make pleasantry of the miracles of Jesus Christ. I said in myself, Yesterday I could have smiled at this, and heard it with pleasure; but now it was a horrible sensation; I could not bear it; I was forced to go out of the house. Was not that a sign, aunt, that there is some change in me?"

Soon after he had a particular dream. He thought he was in Switzerland, and attempting to converse with one of his old acquaintances on the things of God; but was much surprised to find he could only speak in English. Afterward, as he stood at a window with his father, he saw eight full moons all at once, and said in his mind, It means eight months. A beautiful city then rose up be. fore his eyes, and as he looked thereon, he beheld a lovely appearance, and thought, Is that St. John? He looked, till dazzled with the beams of glory which surrounded the face as it passed over the city, he cried out, See! father, see! The Lord Jesus! The Lord Jesus! and so awoke. This dream seemed to make a deep impression on him, though he attempted no explanation. About a week after this, coming home one night late, from visiting a sick. neighbour, on my inquiring after his state, he answered, "Aunt, I have not found the evening long, for I have been in deep recollection almost all the time you have been gone. And now I can say, 'Faith is the evidence of things unseen,' for if I had seen my Lord, I could not be more assured than I am." From this time the change has been more and more evident. He attends all the meetings with