me, and our dear friends are not a little delighted to hear the nephew and godson of their beloved minister telling, in his broken English, that his eyes, which had long been accustomed to see darkness, do now behold the light of the Lord. Some time after, writing to a friend, he uses these words: "I have altogether left Mr. Horne's house, though fully satisfied with all there; but it would have been very disagreeable to me to have been forced to ride daily, and at night, over one of the worst roads in the kingdom. I have now for three months enjoyed the happiness of living with my aunt, and I feel more and more the immense obligation which I owe to her, not only for all the temporal care she hath taken for me, but much more for the bless. ing of my soul. Yes, she hath shown me, clearly, that the knowledge of mathematics, and a vain philosophy, are not sufficient to procure us true happiness; but the know. ledge of Him only who giveth wisdom liberally to those who ask it. She hath taught me to distinguish the things which are situated within the reach of our understanding, from those which are beyond it; for I must own that the idea which I had before of the strength of my understand. ing, and the extent of my knowledge, was so false, that I thought nothing to be out of my sphere. But now, blessed be God! not only I feel that it is not permitted to men to scrutinize with profane looks the mysteries of religion, but I believe them with a holy respect; and far from being ashamed to acknowledge Jesus for my Saviour, I set my glory in it, and that persuasion makes me happy!" He is indeed a new creature; and his conscience appears to be so tender, and his convictions of the need of a farther change so strong, that I am sunk in amazement and wonder! O what a prayer-hearing God have we to do with! "Ask, and you shall receive," is more than ever written on my heart! On the first of January, he was much blessed, and told me he had found such a power to renew his covenant with the Lord as he had never done before. He broke out in prayer with such simplicity as delighted the whole congregation! In a few months he must leave me and return to Switzerland-I trust in the power of the Lord, to be a messenger of glad tidings to the dear family of his precious uncle. O my God! what hast thou done for thy poor worm in the day of her adversity! "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name!" PART THE SIXTH. HER RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE AT MADELEY. December 3, 1785. LAST night I had a peculiar sense of that truth, "Thy Maker is thy husband!" I saw great depth in that decla. ration. The thought of belonging only to Jesus was precious! These words were powerfully on my mind :— "Be bold in Jesus to confide, His creature, and his spotless bride! Thy husband's power and goodness prove. The Lord of hosts hath chosen thee, In faith, and holiness, and love!" I saw and felt all things are possible to persevering faith; but in the midst of this exercise my old temptation presented, Thou art not in joy! And some say, “No more holiness than joy." It was as cold water cast on a fire. My feeble sore spirit trembled under the suggestion, and sorrow's waves around me rolled! I said, true, I have not joy! Again it came to my mind, others believe because an overflowing power constrains them so to do; but I believe, as it were, because I will believe.* Yet I thought, is not that the way of faith? Ought I not to hang on Jesus in the midst of the fire? What is "the abiding in the secret place of the Most High?" Is it not taking shelter in Jesus, and keeping fixed there, whatever storms may surround? I cried to the Lord, and sometimes the faith of Abraham was set before me. These words of our Lord were also applied, "Blessed are they who have not seen, and yet have believed." But still the weight hung * So must they in the hour of temptation.-ED. over my soul. At night I went to bed oppressed, yet struggling to maintain that faith which "staggers not at the promise," but gives glory to God by believing. I dreamed I was in a room with Sally, and saw a picture, or rather the ground work for a picture, on which was only painted one small sheep lying down; the rest was all plain. I said to her, Sally, look on that picture, and what the Lord says, your dear master will draw it out for me to read? I then saw letter by letter come out, as if wrote, (though without any hand or pen,) as follows: "She that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." I felt it a confirmation of my faith; and said, there is no better path than to repose the soul in God, and to go on in quiet resignation, whatever we may feel. As I was making that reflection, I heard, though yet asleep, my dear husband's voice, as if close to my face, speaking these words, Shout, all ye people of the sky! And all ye saints of the Most High: The beginning I heard in my sleep, but as it waked me, the rest was heard afterward: and I could have known his voice among a thousand. I saw from it we never render to God his right till we abandon, by a perfect resignation, all our concerns, spiritual as well as temporal, into his hand, and learn to lie still before him, in the posture of a little child, hanging each moment by faith on his mercy. I see how the art of Satan has hindered me. Indeed my present state is not joyous. I feel, keenly feel, my loss! I am as a poor sheep alone on the mountains. I feel a sorrow no pen can describe. I am penetrated with fiery darts, and my health so broken, my nerves so weak; with a variety of trying affairs which quite weigh me down. But this morning, the Lord showed me, I was not to set joy as the mark, but a ready submission and quiet resignation to his will. That I was to fix this on my mind, "Whoso trusteth in the Lord shall never be It is a real part of the "kingdom of God," Rom. xvii, 14, but not sensibly discerned while the believer is "sifted as wheat."-ED. confounded." That I was to lie still as clay in his hand, that he in his wisdom and love might save me in the way that he knew. My only care should be, to embrace the cross with a ready will! February 6, 1786.-My soul is waiting on the Lord. I believe he will bring me into his unclouded presence! I do feel the truth of these words, "They shall, as their right, his righteousness claim." I also feel that, "I shall, as my right, his purity claim." I do claim it, and feel a share therein. He keeps me; I know "He that abideth in me sinneth not." My soul doth abide, looking by faith to Jesus; and I do not feel any sin; yet my sorrow and mourning is deep. I also feel sore temptation; not to any thing earthly of any kind. No, I believe "the world is crucified to me," and I" unto the world!" It has no charms for me; but I am tempted with great terrors, which come over my mind in a moment, and my weak nerves, which have been af. fected even to a degree of palsy, help to let in the temptations. At times the Lord Jesus gives me such a view of his faithfulness and full power to save, that I seem to forget for a few moments all my sorrow! This is the case often ; but then the vision shuts again, and grievous temptations return. I want a full liberty, such as was given at the outpouring of the Spirit on the day of pentecost. I believe there is a degree of union which shuts out all sorrow,*-the soul having so entered into the element of love, as to be incapable of receiving any idea but what is consonant therewith, or in other words, a "dwelling in God," and possessing the fulness of that promise, "I and my Father will come and make our abode with you." February 16.-I found to-day some refreshment in conversing with that dear old saint, Mary Matthews, one of my dear love's first children, who endured much persecution for the truth's sake many years since. She was called under the first sermon she heard him preach; and after feeling the spirit of bondage nearly two years, was * No; our Lord was a man of sorrows. But all rebellious sorrow we may be saved from.--ED. very clearly set at liberty, and walked many years in faith and love. It was she who was so blessed the first Sabbath my dear husband introduced me into the kitchen among those who met there; and she has enjoyed a fuller liberty ever since. She told me, that on the day after the preaching in the last week, having undertaken to open the door in time for the morning service, she took the key of the room for that purpose, and believed the Lord would awake her in time. About two in the morning (instead of five) she was awaked with an extraordinary power of God. She thought, I must rise and pray. She came down and broke up the fire, and being in a little house all alone, she sat down to meditate, and give full scope to the Spirit. She took up her hymn book, but could not read; for, said she, "All around me seemed God! It appeared to me as if the room was full of heavenly spirits. I laid the book down, and falling back in my chair, I remembered no more of any thing outward, but thought I was at the threshold of a most beautiful place. I could just look in. The first thing I saw was the Lord Jesus sitting on a throne! There was a beautiful crown over his head! It did not seem to bear with He a weight, but as if it was suspended there, and as he turned his head, it turned with him. A glorious light appeared on one side, and all around him was glory! I thought on that word of St. Paul,—Who dwelleth in light unapproachable! Turning my eye a little, I saw close to my Saviour my dear minister, Mr. Fletcher! looked continually on the Lord Jesus with a sweet smile. But he had a very different appearance from what he had when in the body; and yet there was such an exact resemblance that I could have known him among a thousand! Features and limbs just the same, but not of flesh. It was what I cannot describe, all light! I know not what to call it! I never saw any thing like it. It was, I thought, such a body as could go thousands of miles in a moment. There were several passed who had the same appearance; and I seemed to have lost my old weak, shaking body! I seemed to myself as if I could have gone to the world's end as light as air! I looked on him *What a description! Far beyond her powers.--ED. |