thought of seeing the beginning of another year. Perhaps this will be the last with me. May I live each moment as if I were sure it would be so! Lord, be with us in renewing our covenant this night! I have for some time been praying for an enlightened understanding in Divine things; and light has reflected more clearly on the wonderful work of redemption. These words are sweet to me, "In the Lord I have righteousness and strength!" The account I have received of my dear Mrs. Caley's death is precious. She was not in high rapture, but in profound tranquillity and peace. Such has been her life, and such her death. Lord, let me follow her as she has followed thee !* Nurse Peters has also reached the goal. Glory be to thee, my dear Lord, that I had the honour of send. ing her that one guinea, and to have her last messagethat "it helped her to praise thee more abundantly.' how many dear friends have I on the other side the river! And I too am on the wing, only I wait a little till the Lord renew my spiritual strength "Till of my Eden repossess'd, January 7.—I have been reading over some of my old diary, and found it much blessed to me. It brought to my mind many past scenes, which increased faith and thankfulness; also, it cast a clearer light on my present state. Mrs. Caley, well known in that day in London, was a woman of the most devoted spirit, and of the most elegant and polished manners. She drank deeply of the cup of affliction, but rejoiced evermore in the will of Him who gave it to her. Mr. Wesley preached her funeral sermon, in London, from Philippians iv. 8, Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." He declared that he never knew one who thought more upon this Divine assemblage of graces, or with more success. Speaking of her loving and unwearied efforts to win souls for God, he quoted that line of Prior, "Manna was on her tongue, and witchcraft in her eyes." Nurse Peters was also well known in London. She was a plain, good woman of admirable sense, and deep experience in religion. It is with great pleasure that I embrace this opportunity of embalming the memory of those excellent women, by uniting them to that of their admirable friend.-En Comparing my present state with that I felt at Hoxton, I can truly say, now I not only feel all the purity, all the spiritual mindedness, and all the resignation I did then, but in many things I prefer my present dispensation to that. Yet my soul is not satisfied, for I see a far greater salvation before me. In short, it is not the gift, but the full possession of the Giver, my spirit longs for. March 6.-Last Sunday, as I went to the Lord's table, I renewed my covenant, determining to consider Jesus more immediately as the husband to whom I am joined in every sense of the word;-as he who hath undertaken all for me. Since that time I have more particularly found my soul abiding in his presence, and he every moment carrying on the work of purification. The great promise of my life, on which he hath made me to hope, is that given me when eighteen, "Thou shalt walk with me in white," and repeated in these words, "Thou shalt walk with me in white; I will make thee worthy." The posture of my soul is that of a poor beggar before the Lord, holding before him that petition, "Lord, accomplish to me the word on which thou hast made me to hope!" Wednesday, March 24.-Yesterday dear Mr. Wesley left us in apparent good health. What a miracle is he! Eighty-six years old, and thus supported! He is going directly to Ireland, and thinks to visit every society there this summer. The Lord preserve him, and accomplish all his will upon him! As he was speaking on Monday, on these words, "God has not given to us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind," what an unction attended the word! O may we never, never rest till fully restored to that perfect soundness he described ! April 11.-This Lent I have found a deep sense of the sufferings of my Lord. Yesterday, being Good Friday, we had a solemn meeting at night, but I did not find quite as much life in speaking as at some times. The men (many of them with families) who are come to work at the navigation lay much on my mind. We ought to do something for their souls. Lord, open the way! O let them not go without some light at least. April 27.-My soul is all upon a stretch for God. Last night and this morning, as I was repeating in prayer, Thy will be done! my words were lost. I felt the desire of his adorable will being done so strongly, that I was forced for some time only to groan. I am continually led to offer up my free will to God. I long to be as mere clay before him. I plead that word on which he hath made me to hope, "Thou shalt walk with me in white; I will make thee worthy." Yet my faith hath a strange drawback; something would suggest that it only meant in eternity, and that I should never glorify him here as I longed to do. Were I to die immediately, this would not be so great a trial; but my health is now much better. I thought I saw the port, but I seem put back again; and perhaps I may live some years. And must I always live at this poor rate? My very heart and soul seem to groan for a closer communion with my God! At some moments (I think every day) I feel as it were a sweet rest; I seem centred in Jesus. But in a few minutes it draws in again, and then I seem to be always believing and longing, but yet without any immediate answer. It is true, faith does not fail; it is in constant exercise, and often seems to hope against hope. But all this I would not mind. Though Naaman was made whole in seven dips, I would not mind if the Lord made me dip seventy times seven. But my grief lies here, I am condemned, often once or twice a day, for some word, or thought, or action-chiefly in words. Indeed the condemnation does not seem to be from the Lord, as if it would come between my soul and him. But I see I have spoken unadvisedly with my lips, and I cannot bear the horror of the view. There are some persons with whom I have much business to transact, who do not see alike, or cordially love one another. In some things both are right, in others both are wrong. I have this connection at present two ways, personally, and by correspondence, and I find it a hard thing to bear my testimony against that which is wrong, and to approve that which is right in both, and yet neither to write nor speak but exactly so far as truth and love require. O that I may from this day see, as in letters of blood, before my eyes continually those words of the apostle, "He that offendeth not in tongue, the same is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body." Ah, Lord! how far am I yet from this perfection. April 29.—I had some liberty in prayer three times to I day, the most in the three o'clock hour in the room. was praying for a clear discovery of the grace or state I might ask for and expect. It came before me as a representation of Christ as the vine, and of my soul as being a branch ingrafted therein. Then I saw clearly that every believer was a branch in him, in part united; but when the branch is perfectly united, it is absolutely a part of the vine. The sap runs freely through every part, it is completely of one nature with it. Then the mind is in us which was also in Christ. We live no longer but Christ liveth in us, and are preserved from moment to moment by faith. Now if any knot or impediment were in any of the branches, it would hinder the free circulation of the pure sap through it, and that branch would wither, and in a degree be barren. Hence I saw sanctification in a clearer light than ever. It is to be perfectly ingrafted into the vine; to have no impediment remain. ing to hinder the flow of the sap, and while the soul thus abides by faith, it brings forth much fruit, and experi mentally knows the meaning of those words of St. John, "He that abideth in him sinneth not." April 30.-My soul hath been led to-day to look at the wondrous love of the Father! "He spared not his own Son; he so loved the world as to lay on him the iniquity of us all" and "shall he not with him freely give us all things." June 4.-Satan is striving hard to draw my mind back, but I have found this day a liberty to commit my whole cause into the hands of God. I feel a strong encouragement from these words, Every one that asketh receiveth. I ask in Jesus' name to be made a holy soul! O that all this day I may be kept, and directed by the Lord, and walk as in his immediate presence. O for that mind that was in thee! June 26. Various providences of late have more and more convinced me of the need of a farther change. I have it at times; but something arises that seems selfish ; and again, like anger for a moment, which though never abiding, clearly convinces me I have not yet entered fully into rest. I long to be all devoted to my Lord, and to bring glory to him by every power. July 6. At the class, as I was saying, it was not any peculiar or sudden comforts that so tended to the soul's sanctification, as a constant abandonment and resignation of the whole soul, with every concern, into the hand of Jesus; I felt in a moment such an insight into the love, faithfulness, and wisdom of Christ, as I cannot describe. O the security I saw in abandoning my soul to him! It was for a minute glorious indeed. I kept looking, but it drew back, as if a curtain was for a moment drawn up, discovering some glorious scene, and then gradually let down again. But it has left an increase of confidence. O could I always feel what I felt just then, it seems to me it would be a real heaven, and banish all sensibility of fear and suffering. It was what I never felt before in that degree. July 15.-I had some liberty in prayer this morning, as also at the ten o'clock hour. I found a blessing also in reading Mr. Whitefield's account of the dealings of God with his soul, written on board the ship in his way to Philadelphia. He prayed for the humility of Jesus; and observes, "From my first awakening to the Divine life, I felt a particular hungering and thirsting after the humility of Jesus Christ. Night and day I prayed to be a partaker of that grace, imagining that the habit of humility would be instantaneously infused into my soul. But as Gideon taught the men of Succoth with thorns, so God taught me humility by the exercise of strong temptation." I was thus led to consider the point; and though I clearly discerned the same workings of Providence over myself, how often have I been led to pray more for humility than for any other grace, because by nature it is the virtue I am most contrary to; but in my deep affliction I now discern this was the Lord's way. There have been many seasons in which, through pride, imprudence, and sin of various kinds, I have brought great humiliations on myself; and even where they are caused by our own sin, if they are borne with subjection of spirit to the corrections of God, they work in the end for the salvation of the soul. But at the season I refer to, that of the death of my dear husband, although it really seemed I spoke and acted in an upright spirit, and am now conscious how tender my heart was with the fear of offending, yet I said and did many, very many, unwise |